Topic Lords

218. Darmok And Jalad Go To White Castle


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Lords:

  • Stevie
  • Avery
  • Topics:

    • A tour of silly medieval musical instruments
    • The House of David, the baseball cult who all looked like oldtimey barbers.
    • Arguing with Winston about how needing to pee works
    • Avery's Non Mammalian Milk Corner
    • Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing over 7,000 Pounds
      • https://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/content/ode-mammoth-cheese-weighing-over-7000-pounds
      • Microtopics:

        • Why the show works like that.
        • Asking people if they understand what's going on.
        • Spy software.
        • Exactly the kind of game you don't want to explain.
        • Someone who has a sense of humor and thinks something is funny.
        • A hat you can put on your frog.
        • Why frogs are so damn popular.
        • The game with the magnifying glass.
        • Whether the recorder is a real instrument or a crappy toy for babies.
        • Just how thicc this bass recorder is
        • The supercomputer that's also a couch.
        • Talking to your mom on the phone for 45 minutes because she can't stop listing medieval instruments.
        • Recorders that are double recorders.
        • Michael Fassbender teaching his clone how to play the flute.
        • Eating a pair of garden shears.
        • An umbrella handle that was given growth hormones that sounds kind of like a stylophone.
        • An instrument that is curved so that you can play it on horseback without bonking the horse.
        • The sackbut.
        • A selfie stick but for a trombone.
        • Sausage bassoons.
        • Unholy Rackett.
        • How long how many strings look it up?
        • Insufflation tubes and dudelsacks..
        • Versatile, like the Pogues.
        • Bears riding unicycles but not very well.
        • Overblowing.
        • Jim the Overblower.
        • Bringing up bugles to someone who works hospice.
        • How many songs you can play on a bugle.
        • Not wanting to play Beatles Rock Band because you with at BevMo.
        • A photo of an early 20th century cult/baseball team that looks like a modern-day metal band.
        • Not being able to make it to the majors so you settle for House of Dave.
        • Someone who's never played Blaseball trying to explain Blaseball.
        • Amusement parks started by cults.
        • A pretty good way to end a baseball league.
        • Additional amusement.
        • Preserving tiny railways built by a baseball cult.
        • A busy man who has no time to pee.
        • Peristalsis.
        • Persons currently experiencing hubris.
        • What happens to your knowledge when you're not actively thinking about it.
        • When you can truly say you know the capital of the United States.
        • Waking up needing to pee and trying to fall back to sleep so that you forget you need to pee.
        • Having a dream about urinals overflowing.
        • Cutting nature at its joints.
        • Preparing for Topicking.
        • Whether the Jejune Institute made money.
        • When Sacky Meets Butty.
        • Signing a contract in someone else's blood.
        • Yet another non-mammalian milk.
        • Jacked, yoked, ripped and swole spiders.
        • Imagery that's only unsettling because you don't regularly drink spider milk.
        • Vestigial web butts.
        • Sympathy for the young.
        • Putting on a spider silk dress and never being able to take it off.
        • A communal spider butthole web.
        • Blinded by the milk, wrapped up in a douche.
        • The first boutique New York restaurant to serve spider milk pancakes.
        • Cutting out all the parts where people say something dumb.
        • Drum Pants. (It turns your pants into a drum set.)
        • We have seen the a Queen of Cheese.
        • The worst rhyme scheme.
        • A poem that screams 5th grade.
        • Why does this web site have line numbers?
        • Are you a bad enough dude to save the president's cheese?
        • A poetic technique that can be really cool (but not in this poem)
        • Confusing this mammoth cheese with another mammoth cheese.
        • The most mammalian of all mammals.
        • My Mother Milked a Million Mostly Male Mammoths.
        • A huge ice cream tub carried by four ponies.
        • 35 tons of milk
        • Extremely fake beards.
        • A thing people once said to sell chicken.
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          Topic LordsBy Jim Stormdancer

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