In this conversation, Talia Bombola and Adam Luke discuss the concept of self-sabotage and how it stems from our childhood experiences and manifests in adult romantic relationships. They explore the idea that our early relationships with our parents shape our beliefs about love and dependency. They also discuss the fear of vulnerability and the tendency to reject or sabotage relationships when they start to become what we've always wanted. The conversation touches on themes of settling, the sunk cost fallacy, and the importance of mutual acceptance and respect in relationships. Self-sabotage can manifest as using oneself as collateral damage and seeking control through destructive behavior. It often stems from feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, as well as a desire for instant gratification. Self-sabotage can also be a form of punishment or a defense against becoming too powerful. It may prevent growth and development and stem from neurotic loyalty or a fear of betrayal. Taking ownership and accountability for one's actions is crucial in overcoming self-sabotage.