July 08, 2025

266. How To Keep A Loved One With Dementia Safe When They Say They’re Fine

16 minutes

You hold durable power of attorney, but Mom still drives three hours alone, insists she’s “fine,” and nearly wired twenty-thousand dollars to a scammer.

Sound familiar?

Episode 266 tackles the heart-pounding gap between legal authority and zero cooperation.

1. Start with Lizette’s framing question

“So let’s imagine it is six months from today and caregiving feels easier. What does easier actually look like for you?”

Guest Yolanda answers: “Mom is safe, thriving, and her finances are protected.” Naming that vision guides every next step.

2. Capacity ≠ Competency

Lizette clarifies: capacity changes hour by hour; incompetency is a courtroom label. Use functional evidence (missed turns, fender-benders, scam attempts) to show Mom’s current lack of driving capacity.

3. The back-door driving plan

• Schedule a routine visit with Mom’s primary doctor.

• Hand the nurse a private note: “Diagnosis of dementia; driving concerns.”

• Ask the physician for an OT-based driving evaluation.

• Let the third-party report trigger DMV action—removing you as the “villain” while keeping roads (and Mom) safe.

4. Script it with Therapeutic Truth-Telling™

“That sounds overwhelming, Mom. Let’s look at it together.” Validation lowers anxiety; partnership preserves dignity.

5. Guard the bank account

An elder-law attorney can force the branch to honor your existing POA. Meanwhile, set daily withdrawal alerts and spend time educating staff about cognitive red flags.

💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard?

✝️ Speak Calm, Not Just Words

Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments.

✅ 10 ready-to-use scripts

✅ Rooted in Scripture

✅ Built on the Therapeutic Truth-Telling™ model

📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script

🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith.

👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians

🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard

Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast.

🗓️ Brought to you every month!

🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask

🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now?

Join our free workshop:

How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps

✅ Practical tools

✅ Faith-informed strategies

✅ Same-day results

🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl

🧭 Still Feeling Stuck?

If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace.

📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca

❤️ Enjoy This Podcast?

Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help.

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By Lizette Cloete, Christian Dementia Coach

4.9

7575 ratings