Topic Lords

28. Stealing The Dead Skunk Back And Forth Forever

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Lords:

  • April is a beast lord and Jim's wife. @AprilSaur
  • Ryan is somehow also Jim's wife? @RyanIkeComposer

    • Topics:

    • 3:56 The "spigot question" Jim keeps avoiding.
      • https://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/others/hugin-and-munin/
      • A second person may be "cured" of HIV. https://www.vox.com/2019/3/5/18249607/hiv-cure-2019
      • 13:05 New Decade reading resolution.
        • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Witcher
        • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seanan_McGuire
        • http://www.scp-wiki.net/antimemetics-division-hub
        • I personally recommend starting with "Introductory Antimemetics," which is a good intro to the concepts, then everything starting at "Case Colourless Green," which is the main storyline.
        • https://shadesofmagic.fandom.com/wiki/A_Darker_Shade_of_Magic
        • 22:54 What does the Nakatomi corporation do?
          • http://www.scp-wiki.net/
          • https://movies.stackexchange.com/questions/33713/was-nakatomi-corp-involved-in-illegal-activity
          • 31:07 Favorite zoo animal.
            • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embryonic_diapause
            • 40:07 What sandwiches are better suited to a straight or diagonal cut?
            • 44:28 I stayed in a hotel in Florence in 2009 where our room had a private bidet but the whole floor shared a toilet.

              • Microtopics:

              • Making a good dad joke on twitter.
              • The ravens that have been building a nest behind your corpyard at work.
              • The squabbling raven couple next door.
              • Being the neighbor who didn't call animal control.
              • Trying to remember the names of Odin's ravens.
              • Distributing podcast episodes in a post-internet wasteland.
              • The kid in middle school who guessed you were from New York because of how you say "basketball."
              • Why Jim is such a coward.
              • Reaching deep into the topic bucket and pulling out a black ichorous monster.
              • A garden hose spigot installed in your butt such that poop sprays forward instead of down.
              • Bodily fluids canceling each other out when you miss the toilet and so you just end up with a wet wall.
              • Liking ketchup so much you CRISPR a biological ketchup dispenser into your elbow.
              • Accidentally triggering your ketchup hands when you're icing a cake.
              • Putting a cap on your ketchup elbow so you don't drip ketchup everywhere.
              • Whether your new dispenser is a squishy flesh hose or a brass steampunk spigot.
              • Reframing your fleshy protuberance that shoots someone else's blood to sound scary and eldritch.
              • A spigot that shoots liquid money.
              • Making up for your horrifying blood pranks by giving blood.
              • Whipping blood into stiff peaks.
              • Carnivorous merengue.
              • Using science to make human blood safe to eat.
              • Letting the listeners hear the good podcast juice.
              • Falling down on your New Year's resolution starting in March.
              • Watching the Witcher show and then reading the Witcher short stories it was based on and knowing exactly what's going to happen.
              • Alchemy and math and words.
              • Whether or not reading on a screen still counts.
              • Reading your driver's license every night before you go to bed.
              • Getting hungry immediately after the body spigot discussion.
              • Being over your meal by the time you're done cooking it.
              • Assembling duck a l'orange ingredient by ingredient in your tummy and by the time you finish cooking it you're like "I've already eaten this."
              • Something standing right in front of you that you can't perceive.
              • Deciding not to read scary stories to your wife right before bed.
              • Getting ready for prose form, motherfuckers.
              • Trying to remember someone's name and only remembering that they have initials.
              • Medieval fantasy Londons and their relationships to magic.
              • Reading ahead in the tabletop adventure book.
              • A vault with 8 different kinds of locks on it, filled with non-negotiable bearer bonds.
              • A regular bearer bond except you can't negotiate for it.
              • A non-negotiable bond except you can hold it.
              • The database documenting the contents of the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
              • Manufacturing tiny toy guns and not being able to fight back against terrorists because your guns are too small.
              • Explaining why your tiny gun manufacturer has a money basement.
              • Tiny toy guns using only the tiniest gunpowder.
              • Writing the first season of your mystery show with the certainty that it'll be canceled after one season.
              • Having to figure out what polar bears are after your show gets renewed.
              • When a duck decides to start whispering its quacks.
              • The most convenient jaguar.
              • Biting each other in the face and having a good Bear Time.
              • Bats' closest relatives being humans because all their other relatives died.
              • Delaying gestation until everyone's pregnant at once.
              • Bats all giving birth at the same time and overwhelming the health care system.
              • A zoo except for the sea.
              • Watching a jellyfish enclosure and asking "what are they doing in there?"
              • Plastic bags floating around in the sea except they're alive and they'll still be alive after you're dead.
              • The universe being a big stupid donut.
              • Nobody giving a shit that you read Great Expectations.
              • Garfield being the great literature of the coming era.
              • Allegorical lasagna.
              • Caramelizing all your onions at once.
              • Cutting your sandwich into a pair of rhombuses.
              • Sitting on a stack of the most prestigious award in the country.
              • Figuring out what axis you can cut a hamburger on diagonally.
              • When the burrito guy folds your burrito wrong and the first bite is entirely sour cream.
              • Burrito Gaia, filled with loam, mantle and magma.
              • Naming your next kid after your least-favorite burrito.
              • The food dictator making you a cup of Crispix when all you wanted was grilled cheese.
              • The puzzle with the farmer trying to get a hen, fox and grain across the river except it's your butt, your poop, and a jet of water.
              • Taking it to squirts-town.
              • Building a hotel before they invented the combination toilet/bidet.
              • The french word for when you take a dump in somebody's bidet.
              • Hygiene strategies if a bird poops on your butthole.
              • The nose being an evolutionary strategy to protect our mouths from bird poop.
              • Dunking your whole ass in the ass-height sink.
              • Just making zoo noises until you've reached the required minimum podcast length.

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                Topic LordsBy Jim Stormdancer
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