Shantaram with Jake Johannsen

"I would never commit a felony, I am strictly a misdemeanor guy."

Jake Johannsen comes to the Rhodes library to talk about his favorite book 'Shantaram' by Gregory David Roberts. In this conversation we talk about people losing the sparkle in their eyes in Hollywood, how Kurt Vonnegut will improve your life and how Kurt Vonnegut is to Jake what James Brown is to me. I teach Jake the 8 words of Spanish that saved me from getting ripped off by cops and I tell him about the one and only time I have ever been in jail which was when I was 19 years old in Little Rock, Arkansas. That weekend I spent in jail at 19 was very influential in my life because I would never commit a felony, I am strictly a misdemeanor guy.

In this episode we weigh the benefits of martial arts versus carrying mace and how in life, just like when you are dealing with a heckler, using kindness and charm is always the best course of action.We talk about how instagram is better than twitter because no one is going to get pissed off at a sunset, historical obsessions and how Clark from Lewis and Clark was a turd who died in obscurity. Arctic sea voyage disasters where heroic dogs were eaten, Captain Cook's murder by Hawaiian natives happened because he couldn't swim and why you should avoid durian because it tastes like ass pudding. Try everything once except incest and folk dancing. A man is not a man until he has earned the love of a woman, earned her trust and keep it.

The beautiful way Ashna and I ended our marriage by ending it in love just the way we started it. I can never not love Ashna. I never want to not know her. I would never be mean to her and I would help her succeed any way I can. Like we examine in the book Shantaram, you can't kill love. You only live once and when you are dead you are done so let the good times roll.

Connect with people, let go of your anger. Change your thoughts and change your life with simple acts of love. This conversation is the last time two older white guys did something important in Hollywood. Tell each other jokes! Collect street jokes or write your own, always make sure you always carry at least one joke that will make a little kid laugh, but no matter what never heckle Lawrence Olivier. Long may you run and long may you pee! Shalom amigos y amigas and long may you fill your beings with knowledge, wisdom and love! Be less of an asshole this decade! Hooray for humanity!

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