2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

By YMH Studios

Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.... more

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FAQs about 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer:

How many episodes does 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer have?

The podcast currently has 334 episodes available.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer episodes:

February 09, 2026 Bert's Not Dead | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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This week on Two Bears, One Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer spiral gloriously through brand loyalty, fast-food hot takes, donuts, Super Bowl commercials, health scares, and the kind of brutally honest conversations only best friends can have.
The Bears break down why Pepsi Zero Sugar might actually be better than Coke Zero, debate McDonald’s fries vs. literally everyone else, and revisit classic brand wars like Burger King vs. McDonald’s and Dunkin’ vs. Krispy Kreme. From Blooming Onion horror stories to why you should never order seafood at a steakhouse, this episode is packed with food takes that will absolutely start arguments.
Bert also opens up about his recent blood clot scare, panic attacks, medications, and how the experience completely shifted his perspective on health, mortality, and gratitude. The guys also talk sleep apnea machines, Benadryl addictions, Mounjaro side effects, testosterone confusion, and why medical advice somehow never agrees ever.
Plus: donut shop conspiracies in Los Angeles, Cambodian vs. Vietnamese sandwich excellence, Krispy Kreme’s wild history, Instagram’s “fatties eating” algorithm, tracking down Ari Shaffir in the jungle, and why the 2 Bears 5K might literally save lives.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 324
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Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:06 - Brand Wars
00:07:07 - Weight Loss Drugs
00:14:58 - Pepsi Challenge
00:22:40 - I Bought A Donut Shop
00:39:22 - Coin Pusher
00:40:54 - 2 Bears 5K Is Back!
00:45:13 - Bert's Blood Clot
00:49:38 - Where In The World Is Ari Shaffir?
00:54:39 - Black Appreciation
01:00:41 - Wrap Up

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1h 3min
January 12, 2026 The End Of Humanity | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity.
Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black room. The Bears also unpack loneliness, online hate comments, incel psychology, and how social media gives angry dudes a place to scream just to feel noticed.
From there, things somehow get deeper: wealth guilt, excess consumption, purging hundreds of shoes and jackets, Mounjaro weight loss, beating Jelly Roll in the next 2 Bears 5K, parenting chaos, friendship evolution, Jake Paul as a “god,” and why success is always part luck. Enjoy the Bears while they're here.
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 323
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York: call 8778- HOPENY or text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777 or visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio Limited time offer.
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:14 - Bert's First Threesome
00:05:58 - Mean Comments
00:13:05 - Hanging With The Kids During Christmas
00:30:02 - Stroke Of Luck
00:34:11 - Excess & Purging Stuff
00:44:05 - Weight Loss, Mounjaro & Jelly Roll
00:55:15 - Jake Paul Is A God?
01:01:01 - Wrap Up

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1h 4min
January 05, 2026 New Year New Roast | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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It’s the final Winter Bears of the season, and Stavros & Chris are ringing in the New Year the only way they know how: complaining about first class, overeating pastries, and making terrible life decisions! As 2025 wraps, the boys reflect on blown resolutions, chaotic travel plans, New Jersey “vacations,” and Chris’ catastrophic decision to roast the entire Jersey Shore cast. Plus: Delta lounge politics, childhood SNL trauma, double-the-bread-double-the-head, and Stav helping Chris talk through the worst career choice he’s ever made.
Grab a croissant, buckle up, and celebrate the end of the Winter Bears era as we begin a new year!
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321
https://tomsegura.com/tour
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https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer.
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:09 - First Class Complaints & Latent Homo Things
00:09:00 - New Years Resolutions
00:18:27 - Roasting The Jersey Shore Cast
00:28:45 - Workshopping Roast Jokes
00:39:43 - This Is Probably A Dumb Idea
00:45:02 - The Jersey Shore Photo Roast Session
00:51:31 - New Years Plans & NFL Roasts
00:55:00 - More "Fan" Questions
01:03:37 - Final Thoughts

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1h 8min
December 29, 2025 Pimping Podcast Producers | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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- New Year, New Me! Get Huel for FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF with this exclusive offer for New Customers only with code BEARS at https://huel.com/bears (Minimum $75 purchase).
The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn’t prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched.
From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein’s brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again.
Hit subscribe, brace yourself, and remember: this episode exists only because someone might need it someday.
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/
https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:38 - Fat Boy Pastry Shop
00:07:42 - Just The Tip
00:11:53 - Sexually Transmitted Hilarity
00:25:13 - Family
00:31:15 - Third World Fun & Legendary Funbags
00:35:13 - Pimping Podcast Producers
00:43:42 - Doing Business With An Epstein
00:54:16 - Health Corner
01:01:52 - In Conclusion

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1h 7min
December 22, 2025 Chris & Stavvy Save Christmas! | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
SPONSORS:
- If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod
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- Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com
Merry Winter Bears-mas! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano take over 2 Bears 1 Cave while Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are away, and immediately turn it into a holiday fever dream. The Winter Bears dive into chaotic Christmas traditions, Jewish Christmas supremacy, family trauma, weight-loss delusion, wild childhood memories, and the politics of gift-giving. Along the way, they spiral into ancestry revelations, Oldboy-level revenge fantasies, questionable parenting strategies, croissant mukbangs, and an all-time debate over the perfect Christmas Chinese food order. Grab a pastry and strap in — this might be the most unhinged holiday episode in 2 Bears history.
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 320
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/
https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:57 - Revenge & Christmas Plans
00:06:57 - The Germans Always Make Good Stuff
00:16:33 - Perfect Holiday Dinner Conversations
00:23:38 - Are Greeks Whites?
00:30:40 - Let's Eat Some Tommy Bunz
00:33:35 - Christmas Gifts
00:44:09 - Greek Thieves, Bribing Kids, & Daddy Stavvy
00:52:17 - Favorite Chinese Food Order
00:59:00 - Living The NYC Dream
01:02:28 - Answering Some "Fan" Questions

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1h 10min
December 15, 2025 The Summer Bears Came For The Winter | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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- Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS
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- Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears.
Christmas CAME early! The Summer Bears are now the *Winter Bears* and they have returned to phone it in and fulfill some contractually obligated laughs. Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias invade YMH Studios to talk awful breakfast decisions, Bert’s cruise from hell, fat-guy medicine science, Husky-induced life chaos, bombing on MTV, fighting GLP-1 drugs, Mike Tyson saving Big Pun at The Tunnel, and why both of them should never own pets, houses, or functioning digestive systems.
It’s chaotic, barely prepared, medically concerning, and absolutely perfect. Enjoy!
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 319
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/
https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer.
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:29 - Slutty Little Breakfast
00:07:14 - Podcast Polyamory
00:14:15 - Chrissy Housing Crisis
00:21:35 - Stavros Vs Fat Guy Medicine
00:31:48 - Fat Joe, Guy Code, & Graveyard Of Failed Shows
00:46:14 - Maybe The Worst Dog Ever
00:56:17 - Geopolitical Shenanigans & NYC Mayors
01:08:11 - Wrap Up

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1h 11min
December 08, 2025 My Soul Will Always Be Fat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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- If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod
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- Anyway, if you want to try Rho Nutrition’s NAD+, the Glutathione, whatever, they’re giving 20% off with the code BEARS at https://rhonutrition.com/discount/BEARS
This week, Bert’s wasting away, Tom’s tucking in his shirts, and the Bears are going into hibernation for the winter. Before that good news, Bert breaks down losing 25 lbs in a month, projectile-vomiting in airport bathrooms, and Tom producing Olympic-level protein farts. Tom also talks his new pastry empire and defends his son’s obsession with suits and hair product; along the way they dive into Bert’s DEXA scan nightmare, and some chaotic CMA stories including a Steve Martin panic-meeting and Billy Bob Thornton being a king. They also discuss robe culture, aging out of podcasting, comedian fashion, the future of 2 Bears with guest hosts, tours and the 2 Bears 5K, plus they announce the return of the Summer Bears next week. Enjoy!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 318
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:02 - OzemBert & Gassy Tim
00:09:17 - Fat Boy Dreams
00:19:35 - Dressing Like An Adult Is Hard
00:28:44 - Country Music Awards Chaos
00:39:57 - Robe Guys & Big Joe Pesci Energy
00:46:22 - Crisis Of Appearance
00:52:03 - Quentin Tarantino
00:55:46 - The Winter Bears, 2025 Look Back, & 2 Bears 5k
01:06:14 - Wrap Up

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1h 8min
December 01, 2025 The Dark Side of Internet Fame w/ Marcus King | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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This week, Bert Kreischer sits down with musician Marcus King for a wild, emotional ride—naked ocean stories with Navy SEALs, cocaine confessions, microdosing mushrooms, Southern rock rankings, and why internet comments haunt grown men at 3AM. Plus: TikTok ruining music, therapy drunk, and Bert accidentally following people who hate him. Check it out!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 317
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:30 - Southern Rock & Creating Your Own Lane
00:07:01 - Marcus' Process, New Album, & Otis Redding
00:14:55 - Cigars With James Earl Jones
00:17:47 - Sobriety, Microdosing, & Losing the Sparkle
00:29:52 - Loving Yourself While The Internet Hates You
00:42:43 - Ranking Southern Rock Bands
00:49:44 - TikTok Ruining Music & Comedy
00:54:55 - It's Raining Tom
00:57:00 - Authentic Relationships
01:02:23 - The Most Realest Artists Out There
01:13:49 - Back To Top Southern Rock Bands
01:20:31 - Eulogies & Final Thoughts

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1h 29min
November 24, 2025 Louis C.K. on Writing His First Novel and Returning to Stage | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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- Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.
- Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears.
‌
In this powerful and surprisingly emotional episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura sits down with Louis C.K. to discuss his new novel Ingram, the creative process behind writing fiction, and the brutal emotional reality of loneliness and childhood struggle. Louis explains why he quit stand-up for over a year, how stepping away from the stage changed his life, and what ultimately pulled him back into comedy.
The conversation dives deep into fear, pain, trauma, comedy philosophy, empathy, war stories, emotional burnout, and why the darkest moments in life can shape the most powerful art. Tom reveals that reading Ingram made him cry, and Louis talks about the deeply disturbing next book he’s finishing—including a scene that shocked even him while writing it.
They also explore the controversial idea of “punching down” in comedy, the ethics of humor, and why Louis believes the funniest material comes from the messy truth of being human.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 316
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://dkng.co/audio. Limited time offer.
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:00 - Becoming A Novelist, Eastern Europe, & Russian Literature
00:05:12 - Quitting Stand Up & Daily Rituals
00:08:47 - Writing Ingram & Why Tom Teared Up
00:19:38 - Loneliness, Street Kids, & the Human Threshold for Empathy
00:34:27 - Trauma, War & Emotional Damage
00:39:17 - Coming Back to Stand-Up & Rebuilding Material
00:46:22 - Upsetting Audiences, Articulating Thoughts, & Punching Down
00:59:59 - Touring Burnout & The Future of Live Comedy
01:06:42 - Final Thoughts & Tom Praises Ingram

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1h 9min
November 17, 2025 My Dad Was Probably A Murderer w/ Kirk Fox | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
SPONSORS:
- Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears
- If you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @‌IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS ! #indacloudpod
- Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS to get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2, when you first subscribe!
- Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears
‌
Tom Segura returns to the cave with the one-and-only Kirk Fox, comedian, actor, and possibly a future Supermax inmate, depending on how you interpret this episode. The two dive into Kirk’s accidental tennis-career-turned-acting path, his eccentric family upbringing (outdoor showers, blood-written memorials, and a grandma in a box), and his lifelong dream of becoming either an FBI profiler or a serial killer — whichever opportunity arrives first.
From Waymo self-driving cars acting like drunk Uber drivers to territorial pissings, choke etiquette, BTK, Tommy Lynn Sells, Vince Champ the stand-up sex criminal, and a full breakdown of Supermax prison life, this episode spirals into a darkly hilarious masterclass on murder, consent, and why prison might actually be relaxing if you need more sleep.
If the FBI is listening — it’s all jokes. Probably.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 315
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:34 - Tennis Legend Kirk Fox
00:08:40 - Charo Looks Like Bon Jovi
00:11:20 - Kirk’s Home Life
00:17:53 - Golden Showers
00:24:46 - More Killers & AI Sex Robots
00:33:42 - Tommy Lynn Sells & Killing by Train
00:37:43 - The Next Killer in Our Friend Group
00:40:49 - Supermax Prison Fantasy
00:46:29 - My Dad Was A Serial Killer
00:52:38 - Vince Champ: The Sex Crime Comedian
00:58:21 - Kirk’s FBI Dreams & Shamelessness
01:02:22 - Kirk & Tom Check Out Vince Champ's Comedy
01:06:07 - See You In Prison

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1h 10min

FAQs about 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer:

How many episodes does 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer have?

The podcast currently has 334 episodes available.

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