Love Each Other Better

32:  Stop Saying "You Made Me Feel": How to Own Your Feelings Without Blame


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In this episode, I'm unpacking one of the most common — and most disconnecting — phrases I hear in relationships: "You made me feel…"

It sounds honest. It feels true. But in reality, it often leads to defensiveness, arguments, and emotional distance.

Drawing from the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I'll walk you through why this phrase contains a subtle form of blame — even if you don't mean it that way — and how shifting the way you express your feelings can lead to more understanding, more connection, and more of your needs being met.

You'll learn:

  • Why saying "You made me feel…" can derail communication

  • The key difference between stimulating feelings vs. causing them

  • A more effective and connected way to talk about your emotions

  • How to take self-responsibility without self-blame — and why it matters

If you've ever felt like you're trying to be honest, but it only seems to start a fight, this episode will give you a new way forward.

🎧 Want more tools like this? Come join my free private Facebook group: NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time It's a space to connect with me, ask your questions, and get support from others who are practicing these tools in real life.

Free Resources

Feelings and Needs Cheatsheets: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In: www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

Connect with your host!

IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

Private + Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com

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Love Each Other BetterBy Ali Miller

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