Love Each Other Better

32:  Stop Saying "You Made Me Feel": How to Own Your Feelings Without Blame


Listen Later

In this episode, I’m unpacking one of the most common — and most disconnecting — phrases I hear in relationships: “You made me feel…”

It sounds honest. It feels true. But in reality, it often leads to defensiveness, arguments, and emotional distance.

Drawing from the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I’ll walk you through why this phrase contains a subtle form of blame — even if you don’t mean it that way — and how shifting the way you express your feelings can lead to more understanding, more connection, and more of your needs being met.

You’ll learn:

  • Why saying “You made me feel…” can derail communication

  • The key difference between stimulating feelings vs. causing them

  • A more effective and connected way to talk about your emotions

  • How to take self-responsibility without self-blame — and why it matters

If you’ve ever felt like you’re trying to be honest, but it only seems to start a fight, this episode will give you a new way forward.

🎧 Want more tools like this? Come join my free private Facebook group: NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time It’s a space to connect with me, ask your questions, and get support from others who are practicing these tools in real life.

 

Free Resources

Feelings and Needs Cheatsheets: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In: www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

 

Connect with your host!

IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

Private + Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Love Each Other BetterBy Ali Miller

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

43 ratings


More shows like Love Each Other Better

View all
99% Invisible by Roman Mars

99% Invisible

26,205 Listeners

Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce by Dr. Joe Beam & Kimberly Beam Holmes: Experts in Fixing Marriages & Saving Relationships

Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce

502 Listeners

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish by Shane Parrish

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

2,667 Listeners

How to Be Awesome at Your Job by How to be Awesome at Your Job

How to Be Awesome at Your Job

1,032 Listeners

The Daily by The New York Times

The Daily

110,845 Listeners

The Ezra Klein Show by New York Times Opinion

The Ezra Klein Show

15,432 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Glennon Doyle and Audacy

We Can Do Hard Things

41,409 Listeners

Jillian on Love by Jillian Turecki | QCODE

Jillian on Love

1,352 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

19,502 Listeners

Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting by Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone

Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

23 Listeners

What Now? with Trevor Noah by Trevor Noah

What Now? with Trevor Noah

3,885 Listeners