LinkerAlexaVariations in vampire stories: types of powers, origins of vampires, lack of consent lolAnthropomorphism/Connection in mediaGet a free burger when you join my rewardsMeditation at Lagunitas by Robert Hasshttps://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47553/meditation-at-lagunitasWhat letter of the alphabet would win in a Royal RumbleAnti-Lesbian Vampire Propaganda of the 1970s as shown in The Vampire Lovers (1970)https://crossingsjournal.ca/index.php/crossings/article/view/283Being American and then being Canadian-American.Elephantasy and Elephantasy Flipside.Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty.3D-printed worms.A plastic casing attached to your keychain that used to have a clicky button on it.What we did to fidget after the industrialization of textiles.How office workers goofed off before the Internet.Bella's lead skull that prevents Edward from mind-controlling her.Making up a power to be your favorite vampire power.What happens when you inhale a vampire in mist form.Using a picture of Cat's Cradle to illustrate the concept of telekinesis.Putting the vampire coffin in steerage and the familiar has to sit in coach and then pull the coffin off of the luggage conveyor belt. Would it be fun to turn into mist and be collected in a cup and then drunk?Miss Frizzle, vampire expert.Getting frustrated at a stealth video game and giving up being a pacifist as a metaphor for being an old vampire.New Money vs. Old Money vampires.Vampires going on Fetlife to find ethically sourced food. One mysterious vampire at Goth night at the nightclub quietly asking to drink your blood, vs. twenty vampires going around begging and everyone's like jeez, this again?Nobody expecting you to embezzle the blood.Talking to a computer like it's a person you have absolutely no respect for, in a way you'd never talk to a real person because you assign a baseline respect for just being a real person, and people overhearing you are like "holy shit they're really mad" but you're not mad, you're just talking to a computer.Apologizing to the table you just ran into. It Takes Two.Following the instructions of the book of love. Creation of personality in moments of friction. Interacting with video games in similar ways as you would a person, expect without the social anxiety.Why would you ruin this perfectly good complex system with social anxiety?We've got teamwork at home.Sentient burgers enslaving other sentient burgers.Being rewarded with a free burger but then turning into a burger and being given away as a reward. Chicken stars! They're like chicken nuggets but they're shaped like stars!Where were you when you were drafted into the Rewards Wars?Naming your rewards program "My Rewards" so when the mascot refers to it it sounds like the rewards belong to the mascot.Demanding to see the terms and conditions before you eat this hamburger.A word that is elegy to what it signifies. Moments when the body is as numinous as words. Taking some LSD and learning about non-symbolic states. Ignoring poetry in the same way that you ignore ads. Vampire jokes! Transylvanian Hounds.Serif H being much more combat-ready than sans serif H.The most bouba letters. Capital O rolling around crushing the other letters of the alphabet like in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Distraction the ref so you can stab. Which letter of the alphabet could do the best backflip. Whether the ampersand counts as a letter. Letters that are good at stabbing vs. letters with broad sturdy bases. The nuclear family emerging in response to the financial boom following World War II.Anti-lesbian propaganda films that are far too sexy to be effective. Heteronormative fiances.Carmella the lesbian vampire stealing your wife. The vampire lesbians receiving their comeuppance and the heteronormative couple living happily every after.Be gay do crimes. (Murder.)Buying Linker's games so he doesn't die.
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