Amber recaps the first third of Robert Onopa's The Pleasure Tube, where Rawley Voorst attempts to forget what happened in space four years ago. With its sexy jumpsuited staff and exotic adventure menus, a trip on The Pleasure Tube seems like just the answer... but something's not quite right.

Linzi recaps the finale of Carter Brown's A Corpse For Christmas. Which of Al Wheeler's conspiracy theories is the truth? Who's been waiting in his bed this whole time? Which 33% Pulp host actually has abs? Find out all this and more, resolutionwise, in this week's episode.

Amber recaps part two of A Corpse For Christmas by Carter Brown. With two new bodies on his hands, Lt. Al Wheeler needs to get to the bottom of things before the killer strikes again. He also needs to learn how to read social cues if he ever wants another date in Pine City.

Daniel recaps the first third of A Corpse For Christmas by Carter Brown, where a dead body is discovered at a party and Santa is the prime suspect.

Amber recaps the final third of The Man From Pansy by Don Rico. Who's the mastermind behind the gay porn communist blackmail ring? How will Buzz escape without his gun? Just how large is Sugar Popp? Find out now on the shocking conclusion of this very, very long book.

Daniel recaps the second third of The Man From Pansy by Don Rico, where the men have names like Cloud Hopper and Ruff Ryder, and the women never have bras on.

Linzi recaps the first third of Don Rico's The Man From Pansy, where we meet Buzz Cardigan, "the limp-wristed spy who stops at nothing to queer freedom's enemies."

Daniel recaps the dramatic final third of Guy N. Smith's Night of the Crabs. Who will prevail? Man or crustacean? Find out now.

Linzi recaps the second third of Guy N. Smith's Night of the Crabs, where newfound lovers Pat and Cliff vomit in unison, crabs throw a tank into the sea, and Pat checks out Cliff's intention.

Amber recaps the first third of Guy N. Smith's Night of the Crabs. Is Cliff a Botanist or Marine Biologist? Where is Ian and Julie? How many boners can YOU find?