Leading Yourself

358: The Three-Phase Framework for Difficult Conversations


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Most hard conversations do not go wrong because of what gets said.

They go wrong because the person went in without knowing what they actually needed to say. Or they said the hard thing and immediately walked it back. Or the other person got defensive and they lost their footing. Or the conversation ended without a close, a commitment, or any shared sense of what comes next.

This week on Leading Yourself, Carolina gives you the framework she uses with every coaching client before a hard conversation, and goes deep into what actually goes wrong at each stage.

In this episode:

  • The four failure points in hard conversations, and why the conversation itself is almost never the problem
  • Phase 1: Prep. How to get clear on the one thing you need to say, what you actually want to happen, and how to name the fear before it shows up sideways
  • Phase 2: Delivery. How to open without apologizing or presenting evidence, what to do in the silence after you say the hard thing, how to stay in the room when the other person gets defensive or emotional, and how to come back when the conversation goes sideways
  • Phase 3: Follow-up. How to close a conversation so it actually produces something, why follow-through signals whether the conversation was real, and how to read the check-in to find out what actually landed
  • What the framework is actually for, and the change it produces over time beyond any single conversation

This episode stands completely on its own. If you know someone sitting with a hard conversation right now, this is the one to share.

This week's practice: run the conversation you have been avoiding through the prep phase. Write it out, all three parts. Then identify which phase you personally tend to skip. That is where your work is.

...more
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Leading YourselfBy Carolina de Arriba

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