Topic Lords

4. Don't Freak Out, But I'm Arresting You

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Lords:

  • Elena is reading Cordyceps by Benedict_SC. https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178036/chapters/14154868
  • Avery's solo album is on Bandcamp. https://averyburke.bandcamp.com/releases

    • Topics:

    • 2:58 Male pigeons feed their young with "crop milk" produced in glands in their throat. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crop_milk
      • Fennec Foxes. https://duckduckgo.com/?q=fennec&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images
      • "Squid will survive and may even flourish under even the worst-case ocean acidification scenarios." https://news-oceanacidification-icc.org/2019/06/14/squid-could-thrive-under-climate-change/
      • The Honeyguide will show you the honey. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeyguide
      • Do birds sweat? https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061208141845AAtuY9L
      • "Several months before his death, Lee had an operation to remove the sweat glands from his armpits." And this may have lead to his death from heat stroke. https://www.history.com/news/bruce-lee-death-mystery-solved-sweat-glands
      • 18:07 Elena's friends use lexicalized emoji to communicate.
        • Alice and Kev, homeless Sims. https://aliceandkev.wordpress.com/
        • Happy Birthday, Wanda June. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Birthday,_Wanda_June
        • 35:08 The story of the guy who wanted and then didn't want a mattress.
          • Vintage Pump Organs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiqnINpIz74
          • 44:46 Singing cowboys and their ethical codes, which demanded their young fans keep clean and invest in savings accounts. http://www.cowboyway.com/GeneAutry.htm
            • Alice's Restaurant Massacree: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPx2t7xoF1k
            • 55:40 Dimensions in candy space: chocolate, fruit, ...?
              • All figs contain a dissolved wasp. https://gardencollage.com/inspire/wild-earth/true-dead-wasps-inside-figs/
              • "An emerald cockroach wasp (Ampulex compressa) can control the minds of roaches with a sting of its venom." https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2018/02/parasitic-wasps-parkinsons-future-research-spd/
              • The neotenized Domesticated Red Fox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesticated_red_fox
              • Humans may have domesticated themselves: https://www.sciencenews.org/article/how-humans-maybe-domesticated-themselves

                • Microtopics:

                • Infohazards.
                • Living in a house with instruments on the wall because you're a musician, not because you're a massive hipster.
                • Scientists who would describe cottage cheese as creamy.
                • Pigeon milk cappuccinos.
                • Animals that thrive in the city biome.
                • Anaerobic squid thriving in the oceans we ruined.
                • Honey-loving birds ditching their lame badger companions for fire-making humans.
                • Flame-throwing badgers demanding bird exes take them back.
                • Birds sweating out of their throats.
                • East Asian people have different earwax from white people.
                • Going deaf every few months due to earwax buildup.
                • Monetizing your overactive sebaceous glands.
                • Transplanting superior Asian sebaceous glands into your shitty white person's body.
                • What do mammals have that birds haven't taken from us?
                • The kiwi bird has ostrich-sized eggs.
                • Realizing that the kiwi isn't the size of a kiwi.
                • Thanking people by applying a turkey to them.
                • Missing the rest of the conversation because you were trying to find the perfect emoji.
                • Needing more than one train emoji.
                • Starving because your food options are equidistant.
                • Building the perfect Sims family so you can wreck their lives.
                • Walking into a random house and the occupants being fine with it.
                • Debuting moon landing footage you found in the bathroom.
                • Opening up a cabinet at NASA and moon rocks spilling out.
                • Your bosses at NASA not really caring when you destroy old SETI documents.
                • Cats climbing discarded mattresses to hunt.
                • Sense of thirst being hereditary.
                • Kidney stones as a delayed sign of thirst.
                • Finally getting to the part where the guy wants a mattress.
                • Being finished loving the mattress.
                • The Sunken Mattress Fallacy.
                • Discovering the organ you just destroyed was from the 19th century.
                • Playing music by touching the bones of a dead creature.
                • Being the de facto authority because everyone else knows even less.
                • Putting money into Gene Autrey's savings account.
                • Building good citizens through singing cowboys.
                • Issuing an arrest warrant for secret reasons.
                • Appreciating the 19th-century sheriff's weird forehead while waiting to be arrested.
                • Sitting there on the Group W bench.
                • Teacher rewarding you with the cheapest possible candy.
                • Mistaking your deodorant for tamarind candy.
                • Being weird in the way that figs are weird.
                • Fertilizing figs with your dissolved corpse.
                • Sharing your fig with a friend so only one of you eats a dissolved wasp.
                • Not believing new information because it's implausible that you didn't already know it.
                • Wasps parasiting other wasps.
                • Figs no longer being considered vegan.
                • Closing your tiger restaurant because tigers are infeasible to farm.
                • Accidentally inventing puppies when you just wanted your fox farm to be safer.
                • Collecting a breeding population of raccoons.
                • Rats escaping their cage so they can cuddle you.
                • Outliving your pet parrot.
                • Being an ageless rat guardian.
                • Orcas rubbing themselves on flat rocks and nobody knows why.
                • Orcas rubbing themselves on flat rocks because they're itchy.
                • An octopus friend to untangle wires for you.
                • Uplifting the octopus race merely by lengthening their lifespan.
                • Uplifted octopodes inventing Twitter and becoming miserable.
                • Thinking your chimp knows ASL because it's mirroring your actions.
                • Worshiping Cthulhu in a secular humanist kind of way.
                • Making jokes no-one will get instead of doing proper marketing.

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                  Topic LordsBy Jim Stormdancer
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