Who do you go to for advice about money? How many of those people did you find online?

For those of us turning 40 at this moment, our adult lives have overlapped with the rise of real-time financial data, the rise of the personal finance media industry, and the rise of the financial expert/influencer.

And it feels like we've seen it all: from cable TV stock pickers and social media real estate gurus, to crypto evangelists and entrepreneur lifestyle influencers.

How do you decide who to listen to about finances, investing, and handling money? How have your life experiences affected where you look for information about finances and whose advice you are willing to listen to?

1987 Letter from U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on Investment Advisers Act: https://tinyurl.com/34r7fz38

2013 Publication from U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on Regulation of Investment Advisers: https://tinyurl.com/437hb9cb

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Few things are more sobering than realizing how easily your day, your month, or a whole season of your life can be altered by one random decision by one random stranger on a random day.

Anyone who has ever had their property attacked or their body assaulted knows, listing what was taken from you is different than thinking about what you lost.

When an incident like this happens, our common triage assessment of the aftermath involves asking:
"What happened?"
"Where are you?"
"Are you okay?"
"Who was hurt?"
"Did they take anything?"

There are so many ways to answer that last question, and to explore what those words mean to us at this point of our lives.

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You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

You may or may not spend a lot of time on social media. You may or may not care about Twitter, or its CEO. But we all have blue checks in our lives.

Most of societal structures and social norms that influence how we see ourselves, and how others see us, we had no role in creating.

Social media is one of the rare instances where we were present at its origin, participated in its construction, and observed how certain things were created and became status and identity markers.

We have survived long enough online to see how this thing - which didn't used to exist or matter - arose to change how people interacted with each other in a specific space.

At 40, there is a certain clarity about the blue checks in life that we never got.

How do we think about the identity markers we never received, the status symbols we attained which have become irrelevant over time, and the privileged positions we didn't pay attention to when we were younger that have only become more important in adulthood?

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This episode is for givers. The people who have everything, for everyone else. Those who do everything, give everything, fix everything, find everything...for everyone else.

When do you allow yourself to take? When do you ask for what you need? Which area(s) of your life do you keep for yourself?

April 2023 Univ. of Pennsylvania Knowledge at Wharton Interview with Adam Grant: Givers vs. Takers: The Surprising Truth about Who Gets Ahead: https://tinyurl.com/mry3y879

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At this stage of your life, are you still finding a stream of potential new friends for you to meet? How have your friendships changed and evolved over the years? Has the way you make friends changed over the years? Are you still making friends?

Have your various identities - in your family, relationship, wealth, beliefs - impacted who you've kept as a friend, who considers you a friend, and who you will consider as a potential friend?

How do your friendships differ from the kinds of friendships that you see with younger or older people in your life?

The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss - Findings from the May 2021 American Perspectives Survey: https://tinyurl.com/32sepdus

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What irritates you at this stage of your life? Has your opinion on what is annoying, self-righteous behvaior changed over the years?

Are there things that you now do - and you know rub other people the wrong way - which you have doubled down on, regardless of who is bothered by it?

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What have you experienced or witnessed that has changed the choices you make in certain areas of your life? Is there something that you can't unsee that has caused you to change the way you think and act?

The late legendary author Maya Angelou once reflected on her life by saying, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."

Doing better is a choice, a commitment, and sometimes a struggle to actually follow through with. But sometimes we make the choice and the change, and do things differently. What are the events/moments that left such a mark on us that we had to do better afterwards?

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After years of trial and error, listening to different points of view, and trying new approaches, at this point in your life, how do you deal with being told that what you're doing isn't right, isn't enough, or isn't helpful anymore...and that you need to try again?

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"It is better to give than to receive." Often, we give right after receiving. Whether what we've received is a rush of happy hormones after seeing/experiencing something wonderful, or a vibe-killing wave of sadness/shame after being made aware of something horrible, a strong motivator for us to take action and do good in the world is driven by temporary moments of heightened emotion.

At this stage of your life, how do you decide which cause/issue to give to, when to give, who to give to, and what to give of yourself?

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At this point in your life, what are some things you simply will not do? In your personal life, with your family, on your job, as you navigate the society, are there things you will always do? How are you creating the "Will and Won't" lists in your life?

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