45 Left or Right Podcast

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In my first flight as a Pilot-in-Command as an Army helicopter pilot, I got lost. I eventually ended up in my favorite little airport in Troy, Alabama, and consoled myself with some very delicious nachos. I was well over my head in college loan debt, and those nachos were my dinner. This experience made me think about how we make decisions when we are in our late teens and early 20s that can determine the rest of our lives. Why are our lives and culture set up for us to make big decisions so early in our adult lives? The brain development that develops in our late adolescence and continues through our mid 20s is actually really good because it allows us to take risks. Is this necessarily a bad thing?

45 Left or Right Podcast has a double meaning--a 45 degree bank in a helicopter is doable, but extreme. It puts your body under pressure, which is just like life in midlife. You are well into adulthood, either advancing in a desired career or deciding on a new career, or a new path. You can be in a long-term relationship like a marriage or a partnership, and can be in the throes of parenting young children, tweens, teenagers, or young adults. You are looking after aging parents, most likely. It is A LOT. This podcast is designed to take stories from my life as an Army helicopter pilot, Mom, wife, journalist and woman in my 40s to talk about the issues of midlife--career decisions, parenting, friendships, exploring your own interests, marriage and relationships, self-identity, and more!

Originally Published March 13th, 2024

#HelicopterPilotStories #AdolescentDevelopment #LifeDecisions #YouthfulRisks #ThinkLikeATeen #ArmyVeteranPodcast

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Puppies. Aren't they adorable? They are innocent, loving, and generally come with no baggage, except they are not housebroken! Then they grow up to be dogs, and if you haven't messed up too much with training them, are also adorable, loving and selfless. Jeff and I have had several dogs together, including 3 that were our original babies, our current dog, Tex, who came with some funny fears, but is incredibly sweet, and our brand new, 7 week old puppy, Luna. She is adorable, trusting, full of energy and personality, and a lot of work! But she'll be worth all of the work when she gets older--and housebroken!

Dogs offer us so much, including improving our mental health, improving our self-confidence and other things. They also can provide our kids with a sense of responsibility, improving compassion and empathy, and exercise. In this episode, I talk about the research about these things, as well as tell some stories about my naughty but wonderful beagle, Jack, the discovery and lives of all of our dogs, and how we ended up with our current adorable brood. This episode is not a knock against other pets, because we have those too, including our current grumpy cat who can not BELIEVE we brought in a puppy, but dogs are where our expertise is. 

#DogsRule #BenefitsOfHavingADog #MentalHealthBenefitsOfADog #KidsResponsibilityWithDogs #NaughtyBeagle #Goberians #Puppies

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In Episode 14: "Summer Summer Summer Time" of the "45 Left to Right Podcast," freelance journalist and host Darisse Smith celebrates summer! She tells stories from her own childhood, especially her favorite vacation her family took to North Carolina. They took a spontaneous detour into whitewater rafting, and this became her favorite summer memory. Darisse talks about returning to North Carolina and whitewater rafting with her 12 year old son, and the desire of parents to cram in as many memories as possible into each summer. Did you know that summer vacations are a modern thing, and not out of the need for farm families to tend to crops? In fact, hot cities and mandatory school attendance were mostly responsible for our traditional summer breaks. Now, families spend summers traveling to experience new things, see new places, sometimes to see family, and, in parents' eyes, to create some core memories. The thing is, despite all of our efforts, kids usually remember things like the airplane emergency card, or, like Darisse's son, the rental cars of each trip. This doesn't change our need as adults to create and store our own vacation memories, though--for ourselves.

#SummerVacation #SchoolsOutForSummer #FamilyVacations #SummerCoreMemories #VacationPlanning #45LeftOrRightPodcast #HistoryOfSummerBreaks #UrbanHeatIslands #MandatorySchoolAttendance #180DaysOfSchool

Darisse uses the hobbies she has had in her life to tell the story of her life, or at least, some highlights of it. She talks about how triathlon united her and her husband, Jeff, when she was deployed to Iraq, and he was left behind in the United States, far away from any family. She has had some unhealthy hobbies, like drinking, that led to some amazing friendships. A weekly neighborhood ritual of Bunco led to friends that they have kept in touch with for 10 years. She tells tales of cycling with Jeff as they were in the early years of marriage, and how swimming got her through trauma, injuries, and a loss of identity as she transitioned out of the Army. Darisse talks about how our hobbies certainly change as we age, though not always in the ways that we expect. Hobbies are not frivolous things, but rather an expression of how we live. 

This episode is a personal essay with a lot of storytelling about her life. Listen and enjoy, and hopefully you can relate with your own hobby journey.  

#HobbiesTellAStory #HobbiesAsWeAge #HobbiesAtMidlife #OceanSwimming #Triathlon #JiuJitsuJourney #PodcastAboutMidlife #40sPodcast #VeteranStories

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45 Left or Right Podcast showcases stories from an interesting life to discuss the issues of midlife. 

Our hobbies are not trivial things we do to pass the time. They are often the only way to express our passions throughout our lives. 

#Hobbies #HobbiesTellAStory #HobbiesAsWeAge 

Mental Load. This has been a buzzword on social media, and in conversations between fellow Moms for a long time. But what is it? Darisse Smith asked her friends to provide audio clips of their mental loads, and this really illustrates the volume and variety of what Moms must manage daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally and yearly. Explore the 'Mental Load of Mothers' in the latest episode of the 45 Left to Right Podcast, where we dive into the invisible burdens of emotional labor and household management that mothers face daily. Featuring personal stories, expert insights, and research, our discussion sheds light on the challenges of multitasking, planning, and emotional well-being in motherhood. This episode is not a bashing of men, or of the typical relationship partner, but rather just an illumination of what women, and Moms do for their families, generally without any regard for their own needs. This episode emphasizes the importance of shared family responsibilities and seeks to foster appreciation for mothers' multifaceted roles. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of the mental load in modern parenting. We are in the throes of Maycember, so throw on this podcast to listen to while waiting on the kids in the pick-up/drop-off line, or to and from their activities. 

#MentalLoadOfMothers #ParentingChallenges #EmotionalLabor #MotherhoodUnveiled #FamilyResponsibilities #ModernParenting #InvisibleBurden #MotherhoodSupport #SharedParenting #45LeftToRightPodcast #MomLifeBalance #ParentingInsights #Maycember

In this episode, Darisse interviews her best friend, Dr. Emily Balanky, about trying to manage both motherhood and a full-time career as an OB-GYN. Emily shares her journey navigating a highly demanding career with a challenging schedule while raising three daughters with her husband, Matt. Emily offers insight into the creative solutions and decisions she and Matt have made to balance professional responsibilities with active parenthood, highlighting the importance of flexibility, support, and adapting to unforeseen challenges. As is standard in this podcast, Darisse goes into extensive statistics that show the broader issues working mothers must negotiate, especially in finding childcare for young children all the way up to older teenagers. Can we have it all? Do we want it all?

Darisse contrasts expectations with reality, acknowledging the societal pressures and personal dilemmas faced by mothers striving to fulfil both career and family roles effectively. Darisse shares her personal stories in how she had very unrealistic dreams regarding motherhood and a career, and how her views have evolved. 

This candid exploration not only sheds light on the personal stories of the host and her guest but also encourages listeners to reflect on the nuanced dynamics of modern motherhood, work-life balance, and the diverse experiences of women navigating similar journeys.

After I yelled at a rude young guy at the gym last week, I thought about how more irritable I have been in my 40s. Just 5 years ago, I would have seethed silently to myself as I worked out, but I never would have lectured him in his rude ways. With every slam of the weights at the bottom of his deadlift, I found my blood pressure rising, and I just could not handle holding it in anymore. This dude had to be stopped! Otherwise known as grumpy old man or grumpy old woman syndrome, midlife rage is absolutely a thing. Midlife rage has many sources, including perimenopause and menopause in women, and lowered testosterone in men. In this episode, I give more details about my encounter at the gym, discuss the sources of midlife rage for both men and women, and talk about times when perhaps our anger is valid, and worth expressing.

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