5 Minutes, Figure It Out

Take a look in the mirror. Is it me you are looking for? It shouldn't be. You should expect to see yourself.

This one is a little more serious but it's still a good one. 

Take some time to think about how you see yourself and why. What things do you tie your self image to? It can be a job, objects, things you do etc. For the record, your self worth and image should most likely not be tied entirely to any one of those things. 

You are doing it and I am proud of you. Hit me up : [email protected]

At times, the best place to eat your dinner is from the comfort of your own bed. It is not always necessary to get up and go to a table to eat Jack-In-The-Box at 11pm, unless you are a scared little boy like me and think cockroaches with crawl into your eyeballs should you get a single crumb on the floor. 

Have you ever eaten a full thanksgiving meal without getting out of bed? Let me know : [email protected]

You wake up in the morning. Its about 8am. You walk over to the fridge and open that bad boy up only to pull out a gallon of milk, pour it into a glass and let us all down. Drinking a full on glass of milk and not being a baby cow is a weird thing to do.

Drop your best anti-milk bars : [email protected]

Joe Rogan gets out there and says a bunch of words seemingly all of the time and it doesnt even matter to him if they are true or not. Oh well what can you do. Get the elk out Jamie its time to smoke some cigars and eat DMT. 

Look me directly in the eyes and write an entire email without breaking eye contact : [email protected]

The media says its time to new year but Bill says otherwise. Grow up and set a goal that isn't contingent on a fictional organization of planet racing. Or just do whatever you want, that's the key. 

Book us to narrate your next family home video at : [email protected]

Whats the deal with In N Out anyway? A burger is a burger. Lets hear about it.

Send comments, questions, concerns and miscellaneous thoughts to [email protected] and we will figure out the rest.

Ants are wild man. You can pick up and throw one of their buddies and they will just keep on finding breadcrumbs on your bathroom floor.

If you want to write my biography, please reach out to me at [email protected]

How about that sand? Take a step onto the beach or even into the big water and find sand in your eyelids for months. There is no end in sight. 

Plan your next public gathering of over 50 people by emailing me at [email protected]

Eating pizza from a fast food pizza joint can be hard if you haven't already formed opinions about which boy makes the best pie. 

If you live in Chicago and make it through this episode and want to have a word about your feelings please reach out to me at [email protected]

Bill and I get real. I learn how to be better. In this episode we talk about high school experience and how to not be a dweeb to others and also how not to be a dweeb to yourself.

If you need help being a cool kid send me an email at [email protected]