5 Words with Sean Patton

Hello dear legends! Nice to reacquaint you with one of our favorite guests, making his return in this episode, it’s Raanan Hershberg. He’s one of the top up and coming comedians here in NYC and always a great conversationalist. Like Santa Claus who only gives the gift of gab. We really get into the upcoming battle between Amazon and Disney for full control of every human on planet earth. Here are five words to describe this episode: always trust your new stuff. 

Holy smokes this is a hot one! This week's guest is a good friend and up and coming NYC based comedian Wilfred Padua! He’s originally from Seattle and we had a real humdinger of a conversation. Wilfred is smart, funny, and the perfect level of narcissist. You’re gonna love him as much as I do. Here are five words to describe this episode: turns out ghosts are real. 

I met this week’s guest whilst filming an episode of Ari Shaffir’s This is Not Happening. He immediately stood out as a great storyteller and overall good human being by the name of Gastor Almonte. He co-hosts a great podcast called The War Report (with 5 Words alum Shalewe Sharpe from episode ). We really chow down on some conversation here, and I believe we lay the foundation for our own religion—one where no one ever dies unless they’re an asshole. It’s a great episode, and here are five words to describe it: just buy a fucking house.

Hello dear legends, and welcome back! And I’m saying that to myself, as we are returning from a slight hiatus. Gotta get back out on the road! Vaxxed up, of course. This week’s guest is an all around top-tier gentleman named Tanael Joachim. He’s a comedian from Haiti now living here in NYC and is one of the true up-and-comers in the city and soon the country and then the world. He released his first hour special called January 3rd this year on Amazon. It’s great! We have a conversation about the old adage that women are crazy, men are stupid, and every other gender should find different role models. Here are five words to describe this episode: your ass can save you. 

Way back in 2019, this week’s guest and I dropped our albums on the same day. So obviously, she was destined to be on the podcast. It’s Prairie Home Companion’s own Erica Rhodes! And yes, you read that right. She’s been a voice actor since she was 10, so using her vocal skills to entertain the masses was a natural transition. After you listen to this episode, you’ll be hooked, so be sure to download her album Sad Lemon everywhere albums are downloaded! Here are five words to describe this episode: ask for their address first.

Coming at you from the greenroom of The Comedy Fort in Fort Collins, Colorado, this week’s episode not only features the return of my co-host but also the return of one of our favorite guests. The guest? None other than the sultan of Hot 97 turned Hot 97% approval-rated comedian himself, Cipha Sounds! We were doing shows in Colorado and decided to have a reunion episode, and I couldn’t be happier with this one. It’s a great conversation, and Cipha hit us with a story that is pure lunatic fertilizer. Here are five words to describe this episode: get the money up front. 

Comedy can be a tough business, and there are so many great comedians who go unnoticed for far too long. They keep grinding and get so good that when their time comes, they leave quite an impression. This week’s guest has done just that. She’s toured clubs, colleges, cruise ships, and now she will be making her Netflix debut on Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready. It’s Erin Jackson! I have admired Erin for years now, and you’ll definitely be able to tell by how much of a stumble-mumbling buffoon I am for most of this conversation. Erin has been everywhere from interning at CNN during George W. Bush’s inauguration to now performing on the largest streaming platform on the planet. Here are five words to describe this episode: Josh Harnett pays your rent. 

Seans of the world, unite! Shawns and Shauns, go get your own club! This episode is for those of us who spell it the Irish (correct) way. Friends are important, now more than ever, and this week’s guest is a good one (both a friend and an episode). It’s Sean Donnelly! He’s got his own show on SiriusXM and is a stalwart of the NYC comedy scene. We’ve known each other since 2007, so there is a lot to discuss here. We bounce around from BBQ to bar fights. Here are five words to describe this episode: when in doubt, act crazy.

Have you ever heard of Competitive Erotic Fanfiction? Do you think I’m making it up? I’m not, but the guy who actually did make it up and then bring it to life is this week’s guest, Bryan Cook! He’s a hilariously wonderful curmudgeon of a man who I’ve spent many a nights after shows, floating down a river of booze on a four-way kayak with. We get to jabber-jawing in this episode (WARNING: his story has a mention of someone ODing). He’s a redhead with the temper of a blondie, and these days he’s a writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live! Here are five words to describe this episode: roommate's boyfriend should wear pants.  

Fly high, dear legends! Comedy Central is still filming shows for the network, outdoors and all. Meaning they can’t do as many so the comedians they choose are fewer, and thus, the top of the food chain, a la this week’s guest Eagle Witt! He’s a big time up-and-comer here in NYC, and an all around interesting and insightful person to have a conversation with. We run the gamut over our chat. Here are five words to describe this episode: never trust your friend’s bike.