Dance, Joy & Healing: Reclaiming My Body After Brain
Iâve been thinking a lot about pain, vulnerability, and joy.
There was a time during my recovery when I was so focused on getting to the next step that I didnât realize I was rushing myself through the process. I wanted to move forward. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to be ready.
And then one day, I felt joy.
I was at the ranch watching the sunset, surrounded by my dog, my friendâs dog, and the people around me. I felt something I had been trying to find for so long â that feeling of being connected to life and nature again.
In this episode of 50 First Dates with Chris HVMMINGBYRD, I bring Leanne back into the conversation as we talk about dance, community, neuroscience, neurodivergence, spirituality, and learning how to experience joy again.
Leanne knew me before my neurological event, so I wanted to ask her:
What changed?
Before, I was much harder on myself. I had expectations that I should be able to walk into a dance class and be performance-ready within an hour.
But my brain wasn't equipped for that anymore.
Now I'm learning how I learn.
Instead of trying to master everything in one class, I can focus on one technique, explore it, and build from there.
That has changed the way I experience dance.
Dance has become more than movement to me. It has become connection. Music. Laughter. Spirituality. Community.
It has become a way of exploring my body and reminding myself that I am still here.
I think about how naturally children dance. They don't worry about whether they're good enough. They don't wonder if they're embarrassing themselves. They take up space without apologizing for it.
Then somewhere along the way, many of us lose that freedom.
Adults start thinking:
âI'm not a dancer.â
âI'm going to look stupid.â
âWhat if people judge me?â
Even teenagers can become aware of whether something is âcoolâ or embarrassing.
So when did we stop letting ourselves move?
I also think about neurodivergence and how important it can be to have an option not to perform.
Sometimes I don't need to be watched.
Sometimes I don't need to be perfect.
Sometimes I just need to move.
There is something powerful about putting on a record and letting your body respond to the music without asking it to prove anything.
I've also become fascinated by the neuroscience behind movement â how dance can engage different areas and functions of the brain, and how movement can be incorporated into rehabilitation and approaches such as mirror therapy.
After my own brain injury, I look at dance differently.
I don't just see choreography anymore.
I see possibility.
I see another language.
I see connection.
I see a way of learning.
And maybe most importantly, I see a way of reminding myself that imperfection doesn't mean I have failed.
The way each person moves is unique.
That uniqueness is what makes dance beautiful.
So this episode is also a little invitation â especially to my fellow brain injury survivors:
Please learn to dance.
You don't have to perform.
You don't have to be good.
You don't even have to know what you're doing.
Put on a record.
Let your body move.
Show your body that you care enough to feel the music.
Feel it in your heart.
Move your soul.
