It's our 50th episode, Theophiloi, and that means it's time to get Apocalyptic! Join us as we embark on an extra-sized episode covering the fever dreams of Johnny Patmo. Witness the opening of the Seven Seals, hear the sounding of seven trumpets, and debate over we are currently pre-apocalyptic, apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, or post-post-apocalyptic. It's not as depressing as it sounds! Listen and be astonished!

Topics of discussion: Shofar show good, Rosh Hashanah, Michaelmas, lookin' at a duck, what the Devil did to blackberries, Shamrock Shakes in the New Jerusalem, The Chad Jesus, Ninjesus, Genjesus, Kickinradism, Jezebel, the prophecy of the Good Green Elf, Stone Lukewarm Laodicea Austin, God's Pride Flag, a very loose definition of "lion," IV Horsemen, that guy who snuck onto Sentinel Island, Abaddon: a bad'un, Gematria, 666 vs. 616, blasphemous nouns, Nero Redivivus and the Reign of the Nerii, David Lo Pan, Johnny Revelator Cash.

Hymnal: "Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden, "The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash

Offertory: Each person should do as they have decided in their heart, so if you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals, for the Apocrypals love a cheerful giver.