CONTENT WARNING: This week's book deals with some pretty depressing ideas, which leads us to discuss depression and, briefly, suicide.

Absolute futility, Theophiloi. That's what we're dealing with this week as we dive into the dark horse candidate for our favorite book of Bible so far: Solomon/Koholet's extremely grim treatise on depression and why the living should envy the dead. It's a lot more lighthearted than it sounds, we promise. Plus: the Bible verse probably written by a horrible goose.

Topics of discussion: A Big Mood, Sukkot, TikToK user MorganDrinksCoffee, Martinmas, totally harmless vapor, vanitas, a comprehensive list of every new thing from the past 2500 years, King Solomon's Pokémon, two more contenders for Bible Tattoo, how Chris's dad pulled off the ultimate dirtbag bass player move, the Biblical source of Gen Z's favorite insult, a suspect acronym, live dogs vs. dead lions, wall snakes, bones,

Hymnal: "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds

Offertory: If you have been given riches, wealth, and honor so that you lack nothing of all you desire for yourself, let a stranger enjoy them via ko-fi.com/apocrypals