October 26, 2020

53. Pedialyte Teargas

1 hour 3 minutes

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Lords:

Danny is @dannyBstyle on Twitter and plugs vaping.

Alex is @adlleong on Twitter and plugs the Ian Knot shoelace tying method. https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm

Topics:

Invisible walls in games

BluBlockers

Bees take their lives into their hands every time they get thirsty

Nick Asks "♪ God only knows what I’d pee without poo ♪"

My wife is afraid of dogs that wear people clothes

Every response to "thank you" is rude

The multivarious ways being a child genius can screw you

Microtopics:

The good content.

Some kind of invisible wall.

What we already know about Blaseball.

A fantastic way to keep the player inbounds.

Manically trying to explore this island while on the run from the military.

Cops being the yetis of life.

Blizzard blowing up your best party spot by shipping the final Ironforge Airfield.

Whether Microsoft will ruin Bethesda games by making them fix all those fun bugs before launching.

Fixing all the bugs in your game by applying The Cloud to it.

Playing the Turok remaster and they ruined it by removing all the fog.

Going to Canadian Tire because you live in Canada now.

The most technologically advanced sunglasses you can buy.

A Geordi Laforge type of deal.

Dipping your whole head in the black film you use to watch solar eclipses so you can get a good night's sleep.

How to get back from Canada.

Canada being so polite they even let the smoke in.

Still not being able to do a Canadian accent after two years.

Moving to Vancouver expecting a frozen wasteland.

Thrill-seeking bees refusing to wear their masks.

Being stung by one of those wasps that look like bees and being scared of bees for decades.

Whether insects have the capacity for complex emotions such as vengeance.

Why Danny isn't doing better if unbridled anger is such an evolutionary advantage.

Replacing creative workers with AI that you can pay in exposure.

Whether "brown area" is a less racist term than "gray area."

Seeing the most enormous dog butthole and screaming inside your heart.

Trimming back the hair around your dog's butthole to make it look bigger.

A poster with a dog butthole in it saying "Have you seen this butthole? Now you have."

Doing AI upscaling on the picture of the dog butthole that looks like Jesus so we can see the true face of God.

Assholes being okay until the poop comes out.

A human proportioned body with a dog head.

A therapy session by proxy.

Why dog clothes only cover the butt in Canada.

Dogs wearing ties on PBS.

Saying "my uncanny valley is just really wide" to your partner every night before bed instead of "I love you."

Moving to Canada expecting everyone to be polite but they're just rude with an "eh" after it.

A full-throated "hey."

The most terrifying thing about being in Canada.

Whether anyone has checked on the Canadian bacon.

Writing to Tim Horton and demanding that in Canada Canadian bacon just be called "here bacon."

A new credit card payment device where you need to punch in your zip code with your nose.

Enacting publicly-funded health care so that everyone can afford to grow a moustache and use StachePay.

Leveraging your raw intelligence to do your school assignments, rather than learning the material, and eventually hitting a brick wall because you've never actually learned anything.

Getting along better with your teachers than with other kids, because you want to talk about what Gorbachev is up to.

Getting through school and several jobs without ever learning how to work.

Thriving when given instructions to follow.

The shame of discovering that just because the school system worked for you, that doesn't mean it'll work for everyone.

Walking around wearing a t-shirt saying "ask me about the pledge of allegiance" and leaving a trail of horrified Canadians in your wake.

Taking your four year old to protests because now they have tear gas made out of Pedialyte.

Being $300 deep into the Dark Souls series but still not liking any of them.

Replaying old video games because playing new ones is too stressful.

Revisiting old media you've liked not because of the story but because it puts you in a place or mood.

Deciding to play a game because of its aesthetics and then having to find out what the game is like moment to moment and whether you want to do that with your life.

How Animal Crossing New Horizons probably saved the human species.

Only having so many button presses before your joints start to hurt.

Whether in Japan, every time you enter or leave a room, you have to politely listen to someone recite a prepared speech at you for 30 seconds, like in Animal Crossing.

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By Jim Stormdancer

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