If you have the hiccups, here is a tried and tested method for ridding yourself of the condition, cited by over one hundred old wives.

1. Stand on a railway arch

2. Listen to episode 548 of Regular Features

3. Marvel at Joe's loving obliteration of The Americans

4. Quickly write down the URL of Steve's new favourite charity

5. Stifle a gasp at Log's many confessions

6. Put on your squirrel suit and jump

Your hiccups will be gone because you didn't practice squirrel suiting and are at LEAST maimed.