In the eighth episode of one dead Internet lobster’s most humane podcast, our over-medicated Pokémon and trivia poet, Elyse Wille...

I'm sorry everyone. Zach here, breaking the fourth wall. Normally, I like to keep these episode descriptions fun, brief, to the point and concise because I follow AJ's example. But today I'm a little upset. I know you're probably all in magical Scotland thinking, "hey Zach, I'm no Dr. Thunder, but why don't you just take a couple Milotic to chill out?” Well, that would be a disaster!

In the beginning of this week's episode, you'll hear James say that he took a health soda out of my fridge that didn't belong to him. Editing gives the impression that I gave him permission to take it, when in fact, it belonged to my roommate, best friend and wife, Karlee. Well, newsflash, audience! That's just Hollywood podcast trickery. What you don't hear is the preceding four hours (which I would've left in) of me being strong-armed by a man with very strong arms -- James Willems -- into relinquishing the fizzy beverage. But make no mistake; James stole that soda then walked around this apartment in beautiful, downtown REDACTED like he was the King of Pop. Even Michael Jackson couldn't refute it because (as we all know) he‘s too busy making those Marvel films. So here I am, using this description to demand an apology. And, if he can't think of one, maybe he should take a cue from his namesake, Jimi Hendrix, and say sorry for once. Otherwise, Elyse is going to have to do the description for next week's episode, and nobody wants to read that because her taste in words is as bad as it is in husbands.

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Follow us on social media: James Willems @james.willems, AJ LoCascio @aj_locascio, Zach Anner @zach.anner, Elyse Willems @elysewillems

Theme song by Casey Edwards @composercasey

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