Thomas welcomes Paula's family by telling them he did absolutely nothing to prepare for their arrival and then lists the 17 rules for his 500 square foot apartment; Catie is super proud of herself for not assaulting anyone when she was drunk at her bachelorette party; Mido tells Debby he will "give HER the opportunity to cook"

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Catie is so sad she has to leave the ho life; If Ashia goes through with the wedding, her god brother is "going to have to be drunk as s*it" (we identify); Marissa, somehow, with seemingly little effort, is even more unlikeable this week than any of the prior weeks. She's really working overtime.

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Mido plans the most romantic proposal in 90 Day Fiance history; Katie's family definitely doesn't like her; WHY MALLORIE FACE LIKE TOILET.

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TOO monochromatic, EDWARD. No bracelets, EDWARD! Urgh, I don't like anything about you EDWARD, except your d**k. Now go get in the back seat of the car.

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Marissa yells at Edward about the trash; Marissa yells at Edward for trying to taste food; Marissa yells at Edward for not standing up for himself; Marissa yells at Edward for trying to hold her hand.

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Notable quotes for episode 9:

• "I Haven't seen you rifutre it out yet and you have not been successful in your life at all."

• "I don't like that things happen when they're bad."

• ""I'm turning 55 this weekend! 55 is the new 35!" (Not in Kentucky, apparently)

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Edward fixed a fence. Ashia is on the verge of menopause. Paula and Thomas fight about more tiny stuffs.

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Marissa wants Edward to be the "family appropriate version" of himself; Debbie describes her very problematic exchange with Mido as a "bad day"; SHUT UP AND MEDITATE.

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Paula cooks breakfast with beef tallow in a gas mask; Mido shows his dark side; Rashit is still sitting on Brandy's tailgate.

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Soooo..... everyone is.... much blanco here....?? F**K BRANDY.

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