July 12, 2021

90. That's My Glass Petard!

1 hour 13 minutes

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Lords:

Jenni

[email protected]

Kole

https://duckfeed.tv/

https://twitter.com/koleross

Topics:

Whether or not you should stop animals who are thieves.

We're gonna reach a point where Americans know about Eurovision pretty soon, so prepare for that

"CRL couldn't afford the movie license for their video game adaptation of Blade Runner, so they just licensed the soundtrack.

http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/blade-runner-1985/

I Did It by Dave Matthews Band

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRXZkdEj7YI

Unedited (syncable) commentary: https://youtu.be/gN_7KtRoZWU

Showing your kid the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon & him immediately adopting Sonic's attitudey idle animation

Fixing every plot hole in media by writing a "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"-like work where minor characters directly address them.

The "I won't eat the cheese" joke

Adventure 500: https://bluerenga.blog/tag/adventure-500/?order=ASC

Microtopics:

An entire crowd of Jennis all expressing their preferences at once.

Creative choices that make editing this show take even longer.

Feeling some topics right now.

Helping a seagull looter escape.

Just assuming that the seagull didn't pay for that bag of chips.

Sending a penguin to the market to buy fish.

The Keystone Kops of stopping this bird from having a cheese sandwich.

How nobody can get mad if you train your dog to steal from shops.

An adorable seagull stealing somebody's insulin.

Activating the motion-sensing doors to help a seagull steal the Hope Diamond.

Encountering a seagull smoking a tiny crack pipe and deciding whether to post a video on social media or send it to rehab.

How to monetize the rat trying to go up the down escalator.

When you post a viral video of a rat trying to go up the down escalator and monetize it by replying with an ad for mail order brides but don't give the rat a cut off the income.

Whether Americans know about Eurovision.

Pretending the listeners don't know what Eurovision is and really lording it over them.

Having to adjust for the altitude when you bake a souffle on your high horse.

If every state in the USA got to perform one song at the Super Bowl halftime show.

Mr. Lordy.

Soccer except it's singing.

Looking up what girding your loins means.

Stocking up on batteries in advance of when Americans find out about Eurovision.

Power-washed Cheetos.

A bag of bad corn snacks impaled on both a pike and a spike.

Cat Is How Much.

The specific ways in which Wikidiff is broken.

Retiring replidroids.

Knife Hopper with Boy Ratty and Dick Reckard.

An extremely composed and photogenic dumpster.

Getting ready for some very uncomfortable mugging.

Identifying wizards by their extremely shiny outfits.

Why is this man so big?

Smoke tentacles that are just trying to turn the TV on.

How badly the red wizard needs food.

Sugar Ray Charles playing guitar with one hand and holding champagne in the other.

A dojo with sauna vibes.

Dripping your dumpster water onto the hookah rip enjoyer.

Dave-- that's what his fans call him: Dave.

Dave Matthews's flying kick fizzling out because his bribe to the VFX artist wasn't big enough.

Scaring the fish with your pec shimmy.

Doing community service with the purple wizard who is now the orange wizard.

Your two most attitudey friends getting married and having a kid.

Deciding that Sonic the Hedgehog's "I'm waiting" idle animation from Sonic 1 is so central to the character that you decide you need to invent reasons for Sonic to be bored in every episode of the Sonic cartoon.

Looking at your old yearbook photos and realizing that your smirk is the same as Sonic the Hedgehog's.

Kids getting sucked into Sonic the Hedgehog's engorged monopupil younger and younger every year.

The helicopter but it gets you lift.

Mario's idle animation in Super Mario 64 where he just starts naming Italian foods.

Whether someone at Nintendo of America heard Charles Martinet's Mario audition tape and thought "Martinet's an Italian name, right? That means it can't be racist!"

The alternate reality where Charles Martinet does a cartoonish French accent to voice Nintendo's platformer mascot.

Getting offended on behalf of the French.

Whether we should give Shamus O'Leary a hard time for having a racist name.

Shamus O'Leary finding the video on Instagram where you did a cartoon Irish accent in his store's bathroom and being like "is that our choking poster??"

Hearing that Andy Dufresne makes a hole in a cell wall and assuming Shawshank Redemption is a sequel to Fantastic Voyage.

Writing a short story about a friendly rat who explains how Marty McFly's parents didn't recognize him.

Making it a life goal to transform every goof on IMDB into an "error made by character" by writing fan sequels on AO3.

Explaining how Marty McFly's parents didn't recognize him by pointing out that it was actually a movie the whole time.

The stage play of Super Mario Bros 2 where the audience just watches Mario snore for two hours while listening to jaunty ragtime.

A joke striking you loudly enough that it's still ringing in your head twenty years later.

Paris Syndrome.

Jerusalem Syndrome.

Planting a palm tree under the Eiffel Tower.

Adventure 500.

A game jam where you recreate a game you haven't played in years from memory.

Lou's voice just being a bad Sylvester Stallone accent.

Jenni probably appreciating your email unless it's a bad email.

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By Jim Stormdancer

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