This week, it’s a full-fledged battle of the brands as Busy Busy Bobby, Cool Wine Aunt Hillary and Relentlessly Optimistic Ann objectively and unequivocally declare the Top 5* Mid-Range Chain Restaurants in America. Which joint’s flair is beyond compare? Whose saturated fat leads the pack? Does a little international flavor give us something to savor? The criteria is loose, the consideration is intense, and the results are final.

Plus, Ann went back to the office (briefly), Hillary’s kids are going back to school (eventually), Bobby is slowly automating his new apartment with remote power switches (awesomely), and we take a moment to remember our favorite OG butt-faxer (lovingly).

*Actually it’s the Top 6, because it’s our show and we do what we want.

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