This week, Lindy and Meagan submit a heartfelt notes app apology. We are so sorry to all the snakes and worms and devoted listeners out there. To help mend some of these shattered fences, we bring you not just one…but THREE Snakes of the Week 🐍🐍🐍!!! Thank you to a loyal Husband listener Peter for submitting an iconic snake anecdote! 

And next, we are joined by our Pete Hegseth Correspondent Rafil! The emojis and memes are FLYING between Rafil, Jeffrey Goldberg, Pete Hegseth, Vice President J.D. Vance, Lindy, and Meagan. If YOU want to be a part of our BFF war room group chat, let us know! (703) 829-0003.

Then we have a pop quiz! And it’s called “Eighth Grade Washington State History Requirement”

• Did Rear Admiral Peter Rainier ever step foot in Washington State? Y/N
• Did Peter Puget ever step foot in Washington State? Y/N
• Did George Washington ever step foot in Washington State? Y/N
• Did Juan De Fuca ever step foot in Washington State, and while we’re on the topic, is he even a real guy? Y/N

TUNE IN to see if you pass and can graduate eighth grade!!

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

• The Ballad of Joel Kim Rooster
• Revisit the first appearance of Dr. Freek Vonk and Freekaconda in Lindy and Meagan have Died of Dysentery
• Or even better, catch our first-ever drop of the Freek Vonk song in Lindy and Meagan Get Drafted
• Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
• Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
• Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“Truly addicted to this podcast. Something about it just scratches an itch in my soul, and I love it. I laugh every episode and look forward to every release. So entertaining in a way I can't explain, I have only the purest form of love for this show”

JULIETARI THANK YOU FOR LETTING US ITCH YOUR SOUL SCRATCH 

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Robbed at fang point: python-wielding thieves snatch $400 in CBD oil from Tennessee gas station 
• The Things Around Us by Ahamefule J. Oluo
• Buy the album here!
• The Things Around Us LIVE at Intiman Theater April 24-May 4
• Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSON
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy is running on the fumes of borrowed youth, and Meagan is one (1) glass of wine deep. This is the opposite of a Magic Mind episode where we’re cool collected cucumbers and we’re calling it Tipsy Back Podcast!

Lindy brings tidings from the So True Hype House, where Lindy desperately tries to impress her young comedy crushes, starts a group chat she may or may not be kicked out of, and endures a self-imposed spiral of rarely-seen proportions. 

Next…we asked and you delivered, friends! Ghost grandpas, sweaty side-hugging men offering some armchair psychiatry, and the CREEPIEST sandbar cult man we’ve ever heard of 😱Thank you to everyone who shared their stories with us! Never stop texting and calling us (703) 829-0003

And be sure to stay to the end for a bonus anecdote from Meagan!!!! The average listener completes 96%+ of an episode?? You’re OBSESSED with us????? If you love us so much why don’t you marry us!!! patreon.com/textmebackpod

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

• Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
• Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
• Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“Comfort listening at its finest. Despite having my own friends (wow, humblebrag) I adore getting swept into the sweet, cupped hands of Meagan and Lindy's cinematic universe.

They let you in- and it feels tender and special, and funny and important. What good timing to have found such a podcast! 'Cause you know, life is grim under such a soggy-nugget-dictator, and while no single piece of creativity is the sole antidote for such bleakness, if I stack this with other art, and humor, and books, and dogs- well, the gloom becomes more manageable. It took less than one half of an episode to cruise over to Patreon and add these two to my lil collection of makers I love to support. XO”

WINNIE WE ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU CRADLED IN OUR SWEATY PALMS WE LOVE YOU!!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Free plug for the Stooges: Check out So True Pod
• Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSON
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to another classic episode of Text Me Back, where Lindy and Meagan, two self-appointed kings, tackle the most pressing issues of our time. See agenda below:

FIRST AGENDA ITEM: Buggies. Meagan bullies a neighbor by sending another round of live bugs to a stranger’s building. And friends…there is potentially a third round of bugs en route. The only real downside is that this is accidental bullying and Meagan may have to leave the D.C. area :/

NEXT UP: We’re checking in on Lindy’s Rebuilding Year! Wikifeet Update: We Don’t Feel Safe!!! And to the person who uploaded 72 photos of Lindy’s feet…thank you? We think?? Either way the score has CHANGED. Tune in to see what Lindy’s rating is now! Are you a Wikifeet growth hacker? Tell us your top tips by texting or calling the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

AND AFTER THE BREAK: Normal News. Bioluminescent pig butt worms and reptile smuggling. Need we say more? We’re gonna say more. Thank you to everyone sending in Normal News–never stop DMing us @textmebackpod.

Plus, a correction on last week’s Sir Topham Hatt / George Carlin conspiracy (we regret the error), a heartfelt thank you to MagicMind for keeping Lindy off coffee, and an urgent item for cougars to weigh in: Would Lindy jogging in the woods activate your predatory instincts? Email us at [email protected].

This episode is brought to you by Magic Mind!!! 

We’re happy wakey girls with the help of these little juiceys!!!!!!!! 

Get your Magic Mind subscription here: https://magicmind.com/textmeback

You get up to 48% off with our code: TEXTMEBACK20

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

• Check out Part 1 of Lindy’s Wikifeet arc: Lindy and Meagan Start a Wikifeet Retirement Plan
• Revisit the first appearance of Dr. Freek Vonk and Freekaconda in Lindy and Meagan have Died of Dystentary
• Or even better, catch our first-ever drop of the Freek Vonk song in Lindy and Meagan Get Drafted
• Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
• Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
• Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“Current events have put me off a lot of my normal pods but never Text Me Back! They are deftly weaving between the absolute chaos of the current administration and unbridled goofiness and that's exactly what I need right now. So funny!!”

TAIT25 WE ARE DEFTLY WEAVING ALL OVER YOU!!! 😍

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Get your Magic Mind subscription here: https://magicmind.com/textmeback!!! You get up to 48% off with our code: TEXTMEBACK20
• Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSON
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we continue a-milkin’ that New York cow! Um, excuse us? We are walking here. Meagan and Lindy make a brave break from their cozy hotel room into the NYC winter night to watch Drag Race at a local bar/mystery tent and meet THE Thorgy Thor camping out in there! Somebody go back in time, call our elder care facility, and tell them to bring us a knit blanket! Have you ever experienced a winter chill? DM us Y/N @textmebackpod

And next, we add a sexy twist to our age-old Segment P.U.B.E.S. This week we’re calling it Segment P.U.B.E.S.: Crazy Lady Living in a Bag. Two guesses as to who the crazy ladies are. Won’t you join us in our bag? Tbh we get a little real here because it’s BAD out there, and the badness is all by design. (Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSON for more thoughts on “What are you allowed to be mad about?”)

And ultimately we’re gonna have to make room for more crazy ladies in our bag. We’ll shove aside the orange peels, used tissues, old receipts, and empty hand sanitizer bottles to welcome in anyone who wants to fight alongside us for something better–and we’re going to do our best to give them one of our crumbled cookies to welcome them in. If we’re gonna turn the tides of fascism, it’ll be with the help of misguided voters AND at least one annoying guy with a rinky-dink sign. We wanna know what you’re mad about and what you’re doing to resist! Email us at [email protected].

Finally, a plea to the Text Me Backolytes: bring back the ghosts! Lindy and Meagan demand more supernatural content, and the listeners must deliver. Call in with your spookiest ghost encounters (or just a story about a scary man in a car, that counts too). Leave us a voicemail at (703) 829-0003.

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

• Check out last week’s train episode Lindy and Meagan Choo Choo Choose Chaos! Ad-free extended version (featuring Meagan and The Wizard!) on our Patreon! patreon.com/textmebackpod
• Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
• Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
• Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
• PIG DNA EPISODE
• Glass brain/Pig brain moment references this episode Lindy and Meagan Corner the Zombie Pig Demographic

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“I feel like I'm listening to my friends when I'm listening. Found them from their extremely hilarious guest spot on Normal Gossip and was hooked. Never have I laughed so hard at a podcast. Highly recommend the field reporting episode with Lindy on the train, or any of the episodes where they talk about LOTR. Keep em coming!”

RGG530 WE ARE GOSSIPING ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU RN!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• “Being annoyed is the price of community”
• Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSON for more thoughts on “What are you allowed to be mad about?”
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Unearthed from their On Air Fest goodie bags, Lindy and Meagan discover little teensy influencer microphones! And if you know how jazzed one host in particular gets about the media board, you can guess what this means–absolute unhinged chaos aka a cross country FIELD TRIP! 🚂

But before Lindy shares her unfiltered reporting from her truly epic train ride from DC to Seattle, Lindy and Meagan recap their On Air Fest experiences, walking away with one important question: What in the sweet hell happened to the crafty crackers? These VIP BBWs are supposed to eat piles of deli meat with nary a carb? REGGIE WATTS TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NETWORKING NOSH!! Email us [email protected]

And no shade to On Air fest, but the best part of that weekend was Lindy and Meagan’s incredible Wordle victories. Have YOU ever gotten Wordle in 1?? What was your word??? DM us @textmebackpod on IG!

And finally, the real headliner of this episode is something never in history captured in real time: Belly Rumblins On the Midwest Express. Someone call the Pulitzer commission because this is JOURNALISM, this is STORYTELLING, Gay Talese COULD NEVER. Will Lindy expire in Indiana? Make it through Montana? Survive all the way to Seattle? Only one way to find out (listening to the episode, giving us a five-star rating, and telling all your friends about it).

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

• Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
• Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
• Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“Every day I wake up. And I'm like, "is it Thursday?" And when it's not Thursday, I'm like, wommmmp. Because Thursdays bring with them the incredible ease and laughter of these two besties. No day compares to the day I get to listen to text me back. These two are my role models, my parasocial big sisters, and they just be making me laugh. Meagan and Lindy, if you're reading this... ily guys <3 everybody else... GO LISTEN BABEEEE”

MADRONAGIRL206 💗WE PARASOCIALLY LOVE YOU BACK 💗🥹🥹🥹

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Visit Magicmind.com/textmeback and use code TEXTMEBACK20 for 20% a one-time purchase and up to 48% off subscriptions
• Go see Lindy’s Every Castle Ranked LIVE at the Reser in Beaverton! 
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news, and sign up for her Master Class, How to Be Funny When You’re Sad!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
• Check out Meagan’s new newsletter, SWAMP PERSON! 

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today, Lindy and Meagan are recording this episode in their most natural state: lying down.That’s right–these two sleepy gals are broadcasting from a very fancy Big Fig mattress at On Air Fest in Brooklyn, NYC aka DA BIG APPLE. And they’re not alone! They’re in bed with the biggest grifter in the biz, a legendary podcast king and professional menace…Ronald Young Jr. Big Ron gives us the scoop on New York's hottest restaurants (a sexy little local joint~Aplé-beis~), gives us many a glad tiding, and tells us Watch-him Watchin! 

Are you watching Lady Matlock??? Tell us your thoughts!!! BFF Party Line: (703) 829-0003.

If you’d like to keep Meagan licensed to practice law in New York, DONATE $400 TO OUR PATREON patreon.com/textmebackpod

Do we really have to watch Beast Games, Suits, or Succession? 😩 Rate this slop by emailing us at [email protected]

What’s your favorite version of Sherlock? AND BTW AS SOON AS WE STOPPED RECORDING WE REMEMBERED HER NAME IS FREAKING MRS. HUDSON. SORRY MA’AM! Anyway, DM us @textmebackpod on IG!

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“Even though I've been religiously listening to this since its Kayak Dad beginnings, I'm somehow just now rating it. The inspiration? The most inspired episode of a podcast I've ever heard in my entire life, featuring 90s child hip-hop group The Puppies. I'm not going to say anything else but this: it's canon, and it will change your life. Listen!!!”

GIRAGE-1-2 YOU ARE OUR FAVORITE PUPPY DON’T TELL KEVIN, MARGE, OR BARRY

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Learn more about our friends at Big Fig! 
• Listen to Meagan and Lindy debate Elijah vs. Macaulay on Pop Culture Debate Club! 
• Listen to Lindy’s appearance on Weight For It!
• Connect with podcast superstar Big Ron!!! @ohitsbigron on IG
• Go see Lindy’s Every Castle Ranked LIVE at the Reser in Beaverton! 
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news, and sign up for her Master Class, How to Be Funny When You’re Sad!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
• Check out Meagan’s new newsletter, SWAMP PERSON! 

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Deep-cut audio lore, chaotic jingles, and possibly altering the course of America—just another exceedingly normal episode of Text Me Back.

🚨🚨Hot Take Alert 🚨🚨Meagan defends nepo babies? If you’re into blazing hot takes from topics that were top of mind in 2014, you are in for a real treat today. And a new segment means a call for a new theme song! Zuma Rossdale Stefani please we need your help!!!!

And Lindy held the future of America in her DMs?? GRIMES!! CALL US GIRL! (703) 829-0003.

And speaking of new segment theme songs…do you like Lindy’s Dong Exploder audio crime?? DM us with your compliments @textmebackpod on IG!

Plus, we are thrilled to bring you new friend-lore! Lindy unearths the legendary ~chonkay~ audio from Loveline, validating two decades of in-jokes. She also embarks on a crucial scientific study (okay Busy Business Woman): How jade roller? What do?  Are you a jade roller/face juice expert?? Email us at [email protected]

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“Come for the snakes, stay for the friends...I am silent scream laughing at dong exploder.

Thank you for bringing so much weirdness to my podcast feed!”

SEAURCHINHUG YOU ARE ENDORSING LINDY’S AUDIO CRIME BUT WE LOVE YOU!

This episode is brought to you by Magic Mind!!! 

Get your Magic Mind subscription here: https://magicmind.com/textmeback

You get up to 48% off with our code: TEXTMEBACK20

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Go see Lindy’s Every Castle Ranked LIVE at the Reser in Beaverton! 
• Try out Magic Mind and report back! Use code TEXTMEBACK20
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news, and sign up for her Master Class, How to Be Funny When You’re Sad!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• ON AIR FEST! Brooklyn Feb 19-21! Use POP40 for 40% off and come see us!!!
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
• Check out Meagan’s new newsletter, SWAMP PERSON! 

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ass oil, Dongexploder, and The Puppies! If those words and phrases make sense to you, you’ve been perusing the Text Me Back Biki and are OBSESSED with us! 

This week, these two supermodels do the impossible: record a podcast. Lindy goes absolutely feral on the mediaboard, testing the limits of both podcasting and her friendship with Meagan. Meagan has an important mouth update. Lindy is discriminated against AND/OR is herself the perpetrator? Tell us what you think happened in that coffee shop at [email protected]! And then when you’re done with that, contact the EEOC immediately!

And last but not least, we have an incredible addition to the friend-canon for our listeners. To help break it down, we also have our first contributor segment with our Czar of Sound Force, Ahamefule J. Oluo!!! 

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“The best NBA and Doritos couture podcast you'll find! Adore this show and its brilliant, hilarious BBW hosts!”

COUTURE YOU SAY? PAINTING NAILS EMOJI!! AGAVE77 WE LOVE YOU MWAH

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• ORTHODOTS
• Do your deep-dive into The Puppies
• Text Me Biki
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news, and sign up for her Master Class, How to Be Funny When You’re Sad!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• ON AIR FEST! Brooklyn Feb 19-21! Use POP40 for 40% off and come see us!!!
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
• Check out Meagan’s new newsletter, SWAMP PERSON! 

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lots of news to get into today! First up, we start off with DOG THOUGHTS that includes an absolutely iconic voicemail from a very good husband listener named Gerald. Yes, Gerald, this time we ARE talking about you! If YOU want to tell us more about bull penis use-cases, call the Best Friend Party Phone at (703) 829-0003. 

And we have a new segment: The Reddit Report! What on Eru’s green Middle Earth is friggin HAPPENING around here??? Is it so hard to all agree that literal Nazis are bad and don’t belong in our Hobbitty little lives? Don’t let them make it normal, precious! What are your favorite NON-Nazi subreddits?? Email us at [email protected]!

And last but not least: We check in on Lindy’s Rebuilding Year, which has had some exciting new developments (feet pics 😔).

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“Other than my mood stabilizing medication, this podcast is the only thing keeping me sane.”

SAME, KJE0101, SAME

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Check out Lindy and Meagan’s ep of Normal Gossip!
• Lindy's Wikifeet?? NICE VOTES ONLY
• Fave subreddits: Weird Eggs; Food but for Babies; good LOTR; Dragon Age
• Any non-evil social media platforms on your radar? Email us at [email protected]
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news, and sign up for her Master Class, How to Be Funny When You’re Sad!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• ON AIR FEST! Brooklyn Feb 19-21! Use POP40 for 40% off and come see us!!!
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
• Check out Meagan’s new newsletter, SWAMP PERSON! 

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we welcome Rafil Kroll-Zaidi, our in-house private eye and bear oil enthusiast, who gives us some pretty hot gossip in this week’s Segment P.U.B.E.S. We’re learning who these dangerous yahoos are stocking Trump’s cabinet, and this week’s featured player is:

-An alumnus from America’s most expensive clown college, Princeton*

-A geography novice and a military fangirl

-A former Fox & Friends host

-A bona fide dick-shooter

That’s right, it’s P.U.B.E of the week Peter Hegseth! Good luck, girl! We’re so scared of you!

But that’s not all! We talk about idling (bad), Lindy’s lil tumble in the shower (funny), the Year of the Snake (good?), and the segment that just won’t quit: Xmas Addendum! If you thought LAST week was too late for an xmas addendum, then you better buckle up buddy! Because we have yet another breaking xmas addendum and you won’t even begin to guess what the item in question is this week (unless you follow us or Samantha Irby on Instagram). 

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“I love this podcast. It's like time traveling to High School without actually having to be in high school. The stories, inside jokes and insights are splendid. And they make me laugh until my eyes water every week.”

THANK YOU BOOOKISHSARA77! YOU ARE OUR FAVORITE BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE ELSE, K?

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Check out Rafil’s piece on dirty stinky idling cars! 
• Link to Lindy’s fave ramen and empathy station in NYC Marufuku East Village
• Text Me Biki
• Any non-evil social media platforms on your radar? Email us at [email protected]
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news, and sign up for her Master Class, How to Be Funny When You’re Sad!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• ON AIR FEST! Brooklyn Feb 19-21! Use POP40 for 40% off and come see us!!!
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
• Check out Meagan’s new newsletter, SWAMP PERSON! 
• *PRINCETON DUNK IS A SIMPSON’S REFERENCE DON’T COME FOR US IF YOU’RE A GOOD AND NICE PRINCETON GRAD LIKE RAFIL

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.