New German Chancellor Friedrich Merz has picked his cabinet, and filled it with people like him, cos he’s so great: Getting a team of CEOs and lobbyists to run the country is bound to restore people’s faith in democracy. Not only that, Merz has had a brilliant idea: If we shit on immigrants even more it’ll definitely get people to stop voting for the AfD — why didn’t anyone think of that before? Speaking of which, the AfD gets a new rating on Germany’s official Nazism scale and 25% of Germans still think they’re the best. Wow, isn’t the news great!

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