I begin this episode talking about the serious threat of a 14 year old on Call of Duty saying that he is going to court your mom. I discuss how assaulting people based on their race is terribly wrong but assaulting people based on their blood type or by having handle bar mustaches is virtuous. Finally I dissect how annoying and infuriating the song Lonely by Justin Bieber.

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Things between me and the podcast have been tense lately which is why the episode is late. I explain why the podcast doesn't make me feel like the way it use to make me feel and how I intend to fix it. I also talk about the daunting task of finding an apartment in a short time spam. My apartment hunting has brought me to the dirty waters of craigslist and I show you guys one of the wildest ads I've ever seen.

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Before hopping on the pod I took a big hard look at the current state of my hair line, which is why I start out talking about how it's Chinas fault that I'm going bald. In this episode I explain my obsession with procreating with a 6 foot Guatemalan women with high IQ. I discuss my new business idea and how I want to get ahead of the curb in renting out sex robots to the masses. Finally I talk about my new job in Virginia.

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In this episode I talk about my fail safe "dating app strategy". I rant about not having the libido to find your dumb little bio on Bumble charming and how most bio's are the same. After my recent uneventful break up I talk about how I will never let myself date a level headed woman that won't produce topics of conversation for the podcast.

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"Are you suppose to clean your mattress?" is the terrifying thought that I had while brushing my teeth and realizing that I've NEVER done any sort of maintenance to my mattress. In this podcast I discuss if it's nastier to make love in your bed or in the bed of your lover. I talk about how traumatizing it would be to be one with the universe and experience the bacteria crawl on your skin. Finally I rant about the Lola Bunny craze and how people need to stop crying about a bunny not having whooping big breast in a movie that's clearly a cash grab.

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I'm here in Virginia striking back against the colonist, spreading the Puerto Rican variant of Corona. In this episode I list the extra side effects of the new deadly Boricua stain of COVID. I've been in Virginia looking for a job and I've noticed how annoying the new pre-employment screening process is, it's so frustrating that it's bred a fresh new hatred for anybody working in HR. I explain how everybody in HR is a loser that never followed their dreams and how they are the last people that should be screening out new candidates for companies. Finally I give my opinion on pro mask propaganda and showcase my own little pro mask PSA to help get the message across.

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I'm so tired of employers asking for my urine without taking me out to dinner first. In this episode I talk about how employers bathe in their employees urine so our pheromones subconsciously makes us trust them and unable to betray them. I also look up what drugs stay in your system the longest so you can know when is the right time to hit that crack pipe before a job interview. Since I've been on the market hunting for a juicy minimum wage slave opening to sink my teeth in and rant about on the pod I've been keeping my body "federally clean" and staying away from all vices...except porn. Finally I rant about Japanese porn and how they blur out the genitals to boost their tourism.

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So Logan Paul has decided to move to PR to evade taxes(as anybody with money should do) and Puerto Rican twitter has been running rampant with nonsensical BS. In this episode I talk about the hypocrisy of Puerto Ricans and how Logan Paul actually helps our cause. I explain the weird relationship that Puerto Rico has with the US and how that's the reason why people are so angry. Finally I talk about how divisive twitter can be and how it gets in the way of us truly getting together and helping each other out in impactful ways.

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In this episode I rant about the most irritating aspects of Valentines Day. I rant about the dumb go to items that people gift each other and how its all meaningless stuff that simply gets burned up in the breakup. I talk about the difficulty of purchasing balloons and how gifting balloons to an adult always feels ridiculous. Valentines day is a marketing tool where men are forced to give their significant other gifts if they don't want to feel the wrath female FOMO. Finally I discuss the darkness behind gifting an expensive gift for Valentines Day if you aren't in a relationship with them.

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The weight of 2020 has finally hit me and it's thrown me into complete existentialism. Being stuck in my house for a whole year has truly made me forget who I am and what I enjoy doing. To cope with these feeling I have turned to the dark and forbidden pleasures of eating butt. For a whole year I was overly cautious of bacteria and germs, but now I've broken free of that repression and decided to swan dive into a bacteria metropolis. In this episode of the podcast I talk about how you should prepare before munching on that crack and how I like my crack seasoned. I also discuss what aspect of 2020 has been truly messing with me emotionally.

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