Before we start the episode, I want to give a brief content warning.

This conversation walks through premature birth, serious medical complications, special needs parenting, marital separation, and the weight of parental guilt. There is a lot of hope in this conversation, but there are also some painful moments. Please take care of yourself as you listen.

INTRO:

What do fathers carry?

Some carry the weight of providing.

Some carry the weight of their past.

Some carry the pressure of being strong when everyone around them is tired.

Some carry the quiet fear that they are not enough.

And some fathers carry moments they wish they could go back and change.

Moments that replay in their minds.

Moments that become chapters they keep returning to, even when life has moved forward.

But fatherhood does not stop because we are hurting.

There is still work to do, even when we are carrying so much.

The family still needs our love.

The children still need their dad.

And so the father keeps going.

Even when he is tired.

Even when he is unsure.

Even when he does not know if he has, or even can, fully forgive himself for the things he has done.

Many fathers do not get to put this weight down. Ever.

They instead, must learn how to carry it all on their shoulders, and still love.

Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice.

And today I talk with Damion VanCamp.

Damion, known by many online as Sparrow Killer, is a yet another fellow Twitch DJ I’ve had the honor of getting to know over the last year. I first knew him through his music and streams. His beach sets, His melodic vibes, and his conversations in the chat of other DJs we support.

But what stood out to me early on was not really his music. Though it is good.

What stood out to me was how openly he talked about being a father with me.

Damion is a husband, a retired member of the National Guard, and father to two boys. His oldest son, Lex, is autistic. His youngest son, Christian, has cerebral palsy, is quadriplegic, and has gone through more medically in his young life than many of us could imagine.

This conversation walks through a lot.

We talk about Damion becoming a father while preparing to deploy, missing much of his son’s first year of life, and then coming home and learning how to step into fatherhood quickly.

We talk about his oldest son’s autism, the judgment parents can receive in public, and how sometimes what looks like bad parenting from the outside is actually a parent doing everything they can to help their child cope.

And then we talk about Christian.

Damion and his wife Jamie have built much of their lives around loving him, caring for him, and giving him the fullest life possible.

This is not an easy conversation.

Damion carries a lot. There is pain in his story. There is guilt. There is regret. There are things he is still processing.

But there is also joy.

There is humor.

There is sacrifice.

There is a father who continues to show up for his wife and his children, day after day, medication after medication, appointment after appointment, smile after smile.

I am thankful Damion trusted me with this conversation. I am thankful for his honesty. And I am thankful for the example he sets of what it looks like to keep moving forward, even when the weight is heavy.

And so with that, I am honored to present to you my conversation with Damion VanCamp.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you do?

It’s one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone.

Sometimes it’s harmless.

A simple way to make conversation.

A way to find common ground.

A way to learn a little bit about the person standing in front of us.

But for men, this question can carry more weight than we like to admit.

Because many of us don’t just hear:

What is your job?

We hear:

What is your value?

What have you accomplished?

How much do you provide?

Are you successful?

Are you respectable?

Are you enough?

For generations, many fathers have been measured by what they could bring home.

The paycheck.

The Food on the Table.

Protection.

And to be clear, providing financially for your family is honorable. It is important. It is needed.

But what happens when provision looks different?

What happens when the father is the one packing lunches?

Changing diapers?

Making appointments?

Washing clothes?

Getting the kids ready?

Answering the phone when the school calls?

What happens when the work of fatherhood is no longer measured by a salary, but by just being around?

Maybe providing is never only about money.

Maybe providing is always about showing up, day after day.

Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice.

And today I talk with Kiernan Ocampo.

Kiernan is a friend I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know over the last year and a half. He is a fellow DJ, a father, a husband, and a stay-at-home dad who has learned to own that role with a confidence I deeply admire.

Our conversation today covers a lot.

We talk about life growing up in a Filipino family, We talk about becoming a father later than expected, learning to accept the family given to him, and what it means to fully pour yourself into the child in front to you.

But more than anything, we talk about provision.

Not just financial provision.

But the kind of provision that comes through time, attention, care, humility, and consistency.

Kiernan is part of the National At Home Dad Network, an organization I have been personally blessed by, and through this conversation you’ll hear why spaces like that are important to many fathers.

Because as fathers we need community.

We need encouragement.

We need other men who understand what it means to carry the weight of the home in ways that are not always seen.

I’m thankful for Kiernan’s friendship. I’m thankful for the way he has invited me into his community. And I’m thankful for the way he challenges the old ideas that a man’s value is only found in the money he brings home.

Because maybe money can provide for a house.

But presence provides a home.

And so with that, I am honored to present to you my conversation with Kiernan Ocampo.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When was the last time you saw a GoFundMe on social media?

It’s probably more often than you realize.

Every 8 seconds, a new campaign begins on Go Fund Me for all sorts of needs, such as medical, rent, or even generalized support.

Around 140 million dollars are raised every month through the platform

That’s almost 40 dollars per second.

However, for us, there’s a real danger of over-saturation

So many stories, all of them valid, many heartbreaking, with real financial burden.

It can overwhelm anyone

How can we help all of these people who need it?

How do we choose who gets money, a message, or simply, a quick prayer and a scroll down to the next post on Facebook or Instagram?

This is a real struggle I deal with, and I have not really learned a great method to process it if I’m honest.

However there are a few stories which have remained with me over the years.

This episodes guest is from one of these stories.

Eric Trinidad is a man who I worked with for a few years at a previous company. He was a few levels above me, knew a lot more than me, and always struck me as a patient and caring person. I’d love it when he answered the phone when I needed to escalate a call, because I knew not only was I going to receive quick help, he was also going to be patient and willing to teach me what I didn’t know after the call.

After I left that company I lost touch with him, but then I saw this on Facebook about a year later, shared by his wife.

“4th of July we were in the hospital getting ready for Lily’s little sister to arrive. Viviana Eleanor Trinidad was born on July 5th at 6lbs 11oz. There were some complications when she was born and a week later we find ourselves in Houston working on a plan with some of the best doctors to get her healthy and home as soon as possible. We were hesitant to post but we have a difficult road ahead of us and we need prayers from our family and friends.”

The next post, this time by Eric’s sister:

“On July 4th, my beautiful niece Viviana was born Unfortunately, Vivi was born with a tumor at the roof of her mouth going up to her brain. She was flown from San Antonio to Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston. My sister-in-law Gaby and brother Eric are still working through being away from home during this time, as there is such a long road ahead of Viviana. Gaby’s sister Alicia and I have set up a GoFundMe for Vivy if y’all could please share and keep my family and Vivy in your prayers Thank you so much to everyone that has sent such amazing vibes and thoughts our way”

I do not want to make this about me, but something in these two post moved me. I read every update after, prayed for them, and genuinely wanted to see their little daughter make it through. Maybe it was because Winter was only about 1 year old at this time, maybe it was just God’s timing, I do not know.

Time passed, there were updates but they became less and less as Viviana grew and grew into a wonderful little girl, and admittedly both time and algorithms separated them from my thoughts.

That was until I recently met up with Eric again at a birthday party for one of our mutual friends. I asked him about his story, and was blown away at his journey. It was right as I was preparing for season 2, and I am thankful he was all in on recording it with me.

I do not do this to benefit from his pain. His struggle isn’t my gain, and this isn’t something I’m trying to use to build up this podcast. My goal here is to share a man’s story, and his real walk through something heartbreaking, for us all to see that if we hold on, and celebrate the little things, there is a way through, no matter what happens.

With that said, I am honored to present to you, my conversation, with Eric Trinidad.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does faith look like to you?

I’m not necessarily talking about any specific way, because in truth we all carry faith in something.

Sometimes, yes, it is a faith in God or a higher power.

Other times it’s faith in our family, faith in our friends.

It’s faith in our abilities, and our beliefs.

it’s faith that our marriage will last, and when we both said I Do we meant it.

it’s faith that when we swipe our cards at the store, money will be there to pay.

It’s faith that we can get through the valley we are in, and faith that believes there is a mountain top on the other side.

Faith, pushes us forward.

Websters dictionary says it is the “complete trust or confidence in someone or something”

When carrying faith, we are putting our absolute trust that what we think will happen, will come to pass.

However, are we getting faith wrong?

Many times, it can be easy to carry the faith that our situations will turn around.

It’s tempting to carry this belief that the trajectory we are on is heading toward a positive outcome, not a negative one.

Verse after verse taken out of context makes it sound like God will show up when we need him to, to make our lives better.

Sounds great right?

But is that really the case? Is real faith believing life will get better, or is real faith believing that no matter what happens, what we place our faith in is still worth it.

Yes, God can take us from glory to glory, but he can also guide us through loss to loss.

Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is a Father’s Voice. Today we talk with Cody Criddle. Cody and his wife Sarah have become some of my favorite people. I find myself constantly playing the role of cheerleader in their journey, and I’m thankful to call them friends.

Everyone needs people like the Criddles in their lives. As a family they have gone through much, and yet they carry themselves with a joy and passion that is contagious. They are clear leaders to anyone in their circle, setting an example for what a life of faith and integrity look like.

This year Cody helped me through one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life when my mother’s house burned down. He was a wealth of experience and information, a helpful guide in the early stages of figuring things out, and in truth, a calming voice who could speak into my situation. He is the real deal, the kind of man anyone would want in their corner, and the kind of man I think many fathers will be able to learn from.

Today we talk through his fatherhood story, and how his and Sarah’s faith is what has been a foundational pillar of their journey. This conversation challenged me, and has caused me to rethink my own relationship with my personal faith. Though I don’t like picking favorites, and I believe there is great value in every episode released on this show, this is a very special conversation for me. I pray it helps and encourages you as it did me.

And so with that said, I present to you, my conversation with Cody Criddle.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When is the last time you looked at old photos of your children?

How does it make you feel?

Nostalgic?

Joyful?

Sad?

These photos are proof that time never stops.

They are like little fossils. Reminders of what life used to be. Of who we used to be.

The kids we see in those photos, are no longer around.

We will never meet them again.

This is the sad reality of parenthood. The child we have in front of us today is temporary, soon to be replaced with an older, more mature version. The travesty of this is we don’t even see it until it’s over.

Photos, reminding us of what’s lost.

But the truth is we cannot stay looking at these photos, because just as much as our kids are no longer aged 1, 2, or 3, we are no longer parents of 1, 2 or 3 year olds.

No, it’s not just the kids who are growing, to be effective parents in their new stages, we have to grow too.

Hi, my is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice, and today I welcome Pastor Chris Martinez onto the show. Simply put, Pastor Chris is a man I look up to. Though we are close in age, I have learned and grown as a man just by watching him. He lives a life of integrity, loves his family, works hard, and has many accomplishments in both his professional career and ministry.

He is someone who is doing a lot of this parenting gig right, and deserves the praise because he also has the humility to admit he has some areas he still needs to grow in, and even some areas he’s stagnated in. I appreciate this, because it reminds me even the best of men still have room to improve.

Throughout this talk we cover a wide range of topics, and each one I believe can challenge or encourage every father that listens. I loved this discussion with Pastor Chris, and I’m excited to share it with you on this episode.

So with that, I present to you, my conversation with Pastor Chris Martinez.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Becoming a new father is hard.

You’re in a hospital, probably resting on an uncomfortable couch,

your wife goes through a long tense labor process that you have no way to help with,

and then they hand you a baby, and probably tell you to take your shirt off.

But what then?

Whether you’re ready for it or not, this is now your new life. And nothing can prepare you for it.

All the books in the world or conversations with other fathers will never be enough to replace the lessons you will learn as you walk through new challenges and experiences that fatherhood brings.

Most importantly, the baggage, whether you have done the work to process it or not, will begin to show up again. Stuff you’ve forgotten about, stuff you’ve worked through, it all comes back in new ways.

Because being a parent opens your eyes to many new avenues of life. You see things the way your father saw things. And sometimes this isn’t easy to process.

How could he have done that?

How did he get through that?

What was he thinking when…

Did he realize that was hurting me?

Did he mean to hurt me?

Why didn’t he ask for help?

Will I be able to be better?

Fatherhood brings out the best, and worst, of our childhood.

And if we aren’t prepared to walk through it, it can very easily hold us back from being the best father’s we can be.

Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice, and today we talk with my friend Martin Cervantes. Martin and his wife Nelly are new parents to a wonderful little boy named Jonah. I have had the opportunity to walk alongside Martin since day one of him being a father, and I’ve seen him grow more and more into his role as a dad, and recently as the primary provider for his son Jonah.

Martin is a quiet man. A truly humble dude. He thinks less of himself than most I talk to, admittedly almost to his detriment.

And yet he is super talented, and has a high capacity to love and care for others. He’s also one of the few people in my life who can consistently cause me to laugh out loud in public.

I cherish our friendship. I’ve greatly grown in my admiration for him, and have been thankful he’s trusted me to speak into his life as a new father and a man. I brought him onto the show because I wanted to hear his experiences as a new dad, what I got was so much more, and I’m excited to share this conversation with you on this episode.

And so I am proud to present to you, my conversation with Martin Cervantes.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There’s something they don’t tell you about homeownership.

most days you will be a cleaner. That’s expected.

Other days maybe a gardener, or even a designer.

however, some days you will need to be be a plumber

And some days you will find yourself as an electrician

Maybe even a construction worker, rebuilding or adding new parts to your home.

As a homeowner it feels like there are constant projects, new ideas, or fixes, that need to be done.

And what we learn is that many of these projects can be fixed, or even ignored through the work of our own hands. Many homeowners have found that they have the skills necessary to do a lot of the basic work around the house. I personally have changed my own water heater, cleaned my AC unit, and drilled plenty of holes in, and through my walls.

However there is one area that I have no power over, there’s no amount of work I can do to fix it, and no easy way to correct it when it starts to fail.

And that is my home’s foundation. The very core of my house, arguably the most important part, which cannot be fixed through my work alone.

And yet, many homeowners, as the foundation starts to fail, and cracks begin to appear, do all they can to ignore the foundation, but eventually, it shows. and we realize one truth, we cannot work our way out of this situation.

Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra, and this is A Father’s Voice. And today we talk with Joe Cwikla. Joe and I have bonded over a love for wrestling (yes, I know it’s fake) and have enjoyed plenty of vulnerable and real conversations over the past year or so.

When I first met Joe I thought he was a pretty serious and stand offish guy. Maybe even a bit rude. He seemed like your typical manly man, little emotions, loved bbq, and probably hunting or something. Definitely not someone who I would usually be connecting with.

And honestly, I was absolutely wrong about him. He’s a caring man, who loves people, and greatly values helping and serving others. He probably loves hunting (I’ve never asked), and does bbqs some of the best meat I have ever eaten, but his care for others, and willingness to be vulnerable draws men to him like a moth to flame, and he has welcomed many men into his home for food, conversation, and wrestling shows.

However, getting to know him over the past year has show me that him getting to this point was a journey, and took him time, patience, and a willingness to change. He is one of the poster children for trying to simply work his way through his struggles,

and it came to the realization that he couldn’t simply work his way out of the hurt he was holding onto for him to finally focus on his own inner healing.

This isn’t easy for a man to do, especially one like Joe, but he did it, and it’s cultivated in considerable growth for him as a man, husband, and father.

I’m proud to call Joe a friend. I wholeheartedly appreciate our friendship and loved this conversation we had. and I’m thankful he allowed for me to share this on the podcast. I believe this will be a very relatable conversation to all who listen, and I hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me.

and so I present to you, my conversation with Joe Cwikla

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before we start the episode I need to set a disclaimer. This conversation walks through a man’s journey with mental health including topics such as depression, anger, and suicide. This is why this episode is marked explicit. This conversation goes to some dark places, but with the intention of showcasing the rawness of the journey, and the realness of the redemption from it. There is no judgement if you must skip this episode. Please take care of yourself.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Hey man, how you doing?

A simple question, which usually is followed by a simple answer:

I’m good man.

This conversational dance is almost hardwired into society at this point.

Now, like an extension of saying “hello”, the “how are you” question and the “I’m good” response have become just another step in the choreography of light conversation.

There are obvious variations of how to respond to this:

When it’s a normal day. I’m Good

When we are struggling. I’m holding it together

When we are in pain. Could be worse

When we want to complain. Can’t complain, wouldn’t help anyway.

Granted, the question itself is not designed for the long form answer, usually asked in passing, or on the go. It’s largely just a courtesy at this point.

But then, what if we aren’t good?

What if we aren’t holding it together?

What if it feels like it’s gotten worse?

And what if we need the time and space to complain, and be heard?

Is anyone listening?

Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra and this is a Father’s Voice. And today I talk with Michael Lopez. Michael is someone I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know over the previous year. We had connected through a bible study at my church, and then also talked some about season 1 of this podcast and how it was helpful and encouraging for him. I knew some of his story, and I knew early on that I believed his story would bring value to father’s lives everywhere, and I’m thankful he said yes to being interviewed.

My vision for season 1 was about interviewing great fathers I knew and hearing how they became who they are. My vision for Season 2 is about interviewing father’s who have come through hardship, and are still standing. This season is for the warriors, the heroes. This season is for the ones who took the challenge of fatherhood, and fought, and continue to fight, hard for their family.

Michael has gone through it, and through the grace of God, still lives to tell his story today.

My conversation with him today is a very dark one. We discuss in detail about his depression, his anger, and his plans for taking of his own life.

But, every hero’s journey has a redemption arc. And for Michael we discuss how at the brink of ending it all, God got ahold of his heart, reignited his passion for life, and started a long process of healing that birthed out the man who is a leader in my church and at his work, a compassionate individual, and a role model for men struggling with mental health issues everywhere.

Michael is not shy about his struggles, and we go into vivid detail of them. I want to warn you that this conversation will get difficult to hear, but I’m proud and thankful that Michael shared his struggles with me, because along with hearing of his struggles, we get to experience his victories. Of which there are many.

I am honored to have him on the show, and so I present to you, my conversation with Michael Lopez.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today’s episode is a bit different.

I invited Pastor Andrew Delgado onto the show with the intention of talking to him about how he ended up with 4 wonderful girls who all all adore him.

What I got was an hour long conversation about redemption, surrender, and grace.

Every episode I attempt to cut down to be a concise length and straightforward message.

But today’s episode I leave relatively unedited. Our conversation bounces around a lot, touching different subjects, but what is said is straight from the heart of one of the pastors of my church, and a man who I believe was put on this earth to be an example and lead men who didn’t grow up with great father’s.

I don’t want to take up any more time, So let’s get to it. I present to you, my conversation with Pastor Andrew Delgado.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What’s most important to us?

is it our family?

Is it our career?

Our spirituality?

Our word?

Our legacy?

Ask one hundred different people, and I’m sure you’d get similar answers.

But watch 100 different people, and I’m positive you’d see many different ones.

Because our words may say one thing, but our actions speak for itself.

And as fathers, our kids do far more watching, than listening.

It’s rarely what fathers say, or give, but instead it’s what fathers do which is remembered.

Our actions, build our legacy.

Hi, my name is Ryan Guerra and this is a Father’s Voice. And today I talk with Jordan Parker. Jordan is a good friend, and a man I appreciate having in my life because he is a bit further down the road than I am. His kids and career are reflections of where I’d like to be in another 5-7 years. He’s consistent, caring, and knowledgable, and I can tell by how his kids interact with him that he is a good father.

Our conversation today takes a look at parenting as a long term process. One where the decisions we make today should have the future in mind, because what we choose to say, and how we choose to act, will continue cementing our legacy in our kids lives, and will help guide them as they grow from young kids, to teenagers, and then to adults.

Jordan is typically a quieter person, not one for the spotlight. But when he speaks, I listen, because I have seen through our conversations that he carries a wisdom that comes from experience and learning.

I am very excited to have him on the show, and I am honored to present to you, my conversation with Jordan parker.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.