A Few Thoughts About...

We like to think we look at the evidence and then decide what to believe.

But what if it often works the other way around?

In this episode, we’ll explore confirmation bias—our tendency to notice, remember, and interpret information in ways that support what we already believe—and how it can shape our experience of change.

We’ll look at why a single difficult moment can feel like proof that we’re failing, while dozens of small successes barely register. We’ll also explore how our beliefs about ourselves can become self-reinforcing, particularly when we’re trying to change long-standing habits like drinking.

This isn’t about ignoring problems or forcing ourselves to think positively.

It’s about becoming curious about the evidence we might be missing.

Because sometimes change is already happening.

We just haven’t been looking for it.

LINKSYou don’t have to wait until January to begin changing your relationship with alcohol. What if you spent the next couple of months getting curious about your drinking, your thinking, and what you’re actually experiencing?

If you’d like some support exploring that, I’m currently welcoming new one-on-one coaching clients. Learn more about working with me at scottpinyard.com/coaching.

I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

n this episode, I explore the strange paradox of control: in order to control an experience, we have to keep paying attention to it. We monitor the anxiety, check whether the urge is gone, try not to think the thought, and continually ask ourselves whether we feel better yet.

And suddenly the thing we’re trying to get away from is sitting right in the center of our experience.

We’ll look at why control can feel so much like safety, the difference between controlling our lives and participating in them, and what can happen when we stop demanding that our internal experience be different before we’re okay.

Maybe the goal isn’t to become better at controlling what we think and feel.

Maybe it’s discovering that we don’t always need to.

LINKSInterested in One on One Coaching? Book some time with me here and we’ll chat: https://calendly.com/scottpinyard/coaching-discovery-call I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

If you’ve spent years drinking when you said you wouldn’t - or repeatedly trying to make a change and struggling to follow through - it can be easy to conclude that you simply can’t trust yourself anymore.

But maybe we’ve been asking trust to mean something it can’t.

In this episode, I explore the difference between trusting yourself and certainty, why past failures don’t necessarily make us untrustworthy, and how trust can grow from seeing what we’ve already made it through.

Trusting yourself doesn’t mean knowing you’ll always make the right decision or never screw up again.

Maybe it means knowing that whatever happens, you’ll be there to meet it, learn from it, adjust, and figure out what comes next.LINKSInterested in One on One Coaching? Book some time with me here and we’ll chat: https://calendly.com/scottpinyard/coaching-discovery-call I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

We spend a lot of time waiting to feel certain.

Certain that we’re making the right decision. Certain that something will work. Certain that we won’t regret it. Certain that we’re ready.

But what if the certainty we’re waiting for isn’t actually available yet?

In this episode, I explore why we crave certainty before taking action, why feeling certain isn’t the same thing as actually knowing, and the strange trap we create when we insist on knowing the outcome before we’re willing to begin.

We can gather information. We can think things through. We can ask questions and make plans. But eventually, we may reach the edge of what we can know from where we’re standing.

Sometimes the only way to learn what happens next is to take the next step.

LINKSInterested in One on One Coaching? Book some time with me here and we’ll chat: https://calendly.com/scottpinyard/coaching-discovery-call I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

What if you don’t have to figure everything out right now?

When we’re stuck, our instinct is often to think harder. We analyze the problem, replay it, argue with it, and search for the thought that will finally make everything okay.

But some of our best insights seem to arrive when we stop looking for them.

In this episode, I explore the idea of thought as a river—constantly moving, with something new always coming downstream. We look at why the thinking available to us right now isn’t all the thinking we’ll ever have, why fresh thought doesn’t require us to be calm or clear-headed, and what can happen when we loosen our grip on the things we’re trying so hard to solve.

You don’t have to push the river.

You don’t have to manufacture the next insight.

Sometimes it’s enough to remember:

There’s more coming.

LINKS

Interested in One on One Coaching? Book some time with me here and we’ll chat: https://calendly.com/scottpinyard/coaching-discovery-call I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

There are almost endless ways we could improve ourselves.

We could exercise more, eat better, become more productive, be more patient, meditate, stop procrastinating, quit drinking, get organized - the list never really ends.

But what happens when self-improvement quietly becomes self-rejection?

In this episode, I explore the assumption hiding underneath a lot of our attempts to change: that the person we are right now isn’t quite good enough yet. We look at what happens when behaviors become judgments about who we are, why self-improvement has no natural finish line, and whether change really requires us to declare war on ourselves.

Maybe you can take responsibility without making yourself wrong.

Maybe you can want something different without needing to become someone better.

And maybe being okay isn’t the reward you get when you’re finally finished improving yourself.

Maybe it’s where you start.

LINKSInterested in One on One Coaching? Book some time with me here and we’ll chat: https://calendly.com/scottpinyard/coaching-discovery-call I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

What if the problem that feels enormous right now looks completely different tomorrow morning?

In this episode, I explore how our physical and mental states shape the way we experience our lives. Being tired, hungry, stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, rested, or calm doesn’t just change how we feel—it can change what seems true.

We look at why it rarely feels like our state has changed; it feels like the world has changed. We also explore the ways we try to shift our state, from drinking and scrolling to walking, sleeping, eating, and simply stepping away.

This isn’t about getting ourselves into the “right” state all the time. It’s about recognizing that our current perspective isn’t the only one available to us.

Same life. Different state. Different world.LINKSInterested in One on One Coaching? Book some time with me here and we’ll chat: https://calendly.com/scottpinyard/coaching-discovery-call I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

What if your emotions aren’t getting in the way?

What if they’re actually trying to tell you something?

In this episode, I explore the idea that our emotions function like an onboard guidance system—a dashboard that’s constantly giving us information about what’s happening in our experience.

The trouble is, we often mistake the warning light for the problem. Anxiety shows up and we try to make it disappear. Anger arrives and we assume something needs to change. Fear appears and we decide we shouldn’t move forward.

But emotions are information, not necessarily instructions.

Fear doesn’t always mean stop. Anxiety doesn’t always mean danger. And an uncomfortable feeling doesn’t necessarily mean something has gone wrong.

Maybe we don’t need to get rid of the lights on the dashboard.

Maybe we just need to get better at reading them.LINKSJoin me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!)

I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

We talk about change as though we’re building a new person—the person we’re finally going to become once we get everything figured out.

But is that actually how becoming works?

In this episode, I explore the difference between choosing a direction for our lives and trying to manufacture some imaginary future version of ourselves. We look at how much of who we are today emerged through experiences we never could have planned, why comparing ourselves to an idealized “future me” can make change harder, and what happens when we allow ourselves to change without rejecting who we are right now.

Maybe you don’t need to know exactly who you’re becoming.

Maybe you can live your way there.LINKSJoin me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!)

I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com

Why does change so often feel uncomfortable? In this episode, we’ll explore the idea that friction isn’t always a sign something is wrong - it may simply be what growth feels like. Sometimes the resistance we’re experiencing isn’t standing in the way of change; it’s part of how change happens.

LINKSJoin me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!)

I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if you just want to reach out, please go to www.scottpinyard.com/podcast and send me a note!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit afewthoughtsabout.substack.com