A Fresh Approach ...with Sonya :) podcast

September 18, 2024 Episode #180_Quick Clips_What are you standards

I teach people how to treat me by what I will allow."

Stephen Covey

Let’s Dig Deeper

The big problem is that most people have it reversed. They have low standards but high expectations. In other words, most people will accept all kinds of bad behavior from other people (low standards), but then they’re pissed that they’re being treated that way (high expectations).

If you want a happy and fulfilled life, you’ve got to identify your standards and stick to them while you balance keeping your expectations low. Usually, when I first talk about this concept I get pushback, but give me until the end of this episode and then see what you think.

Your standards can also be thought of as your personal code — the rules that you set for yourself and follow in your life. They are also your ongoing processes — habits, behaviours and things you want to be consistently doing

Expect and demand more from yourself and from those around you. If you really us. Have a key a change in your life you have to raise your standards, Have a zero tolerance policy for mediocrity, procrastination, and behavior that impedes your best performance.

Your standards could be, for example, to always tell the truth, to always be punctual, to really listen to people until they are finished, and so on. Hold yourself to high standards and - what is of the same or even more importance - set boundaries for those around you!

Boundaries are things that people simply can't do to you like yelling at you, make stupid jokes around you, or disrespect you. Communicate clearly and make it a habit to address anything that bothers you on the spot.

Determine where to raise the standard

Most of us have numerous areas of life where we could raise our standards. Three of the most common are creating healthy relationships, finding a fulfilling career path and improving our health.

Relationships

Your relationship is a direct reflection of your standards. Some people are in a relationship but they aren’t happy – because their standard is that they must be in any relationship, not that they must be in a relationship with passion and excitement that cultivates pure joy and love. Others may not be in a relationship because their standard is to never get hurt.

Career

“Your income right now is a result of your standards, it is not the industry, it is not the economy.” If you are not making the money you desire, you haven’t reached the position you want or you are stuck in an unfulfilling career, it’s because your standard is to accept any offer that comes your way. Raise your standards, and you’ll raise your worth.

Health

Our health is also the result of our standards. Many people wish they were thinner, healthier or more fit. But expecting something and willing it is not the same thing. You must raise the standard for your health by making it a “must.” Tell yourself that you must get healthy in order to lead an extraordinary life.

How can you raise your standards?

Step one: Determine how you think about yourself

Step two: Break through your limiting beliefs

Action Steps:

Write down the following things:

Things you will no longer accept in your life.

All the behaviors you will no longer tolerate from others.

All the things you want to become.

Identify Your Dealbreaker

Identifying Your Standards

Remember what the proverb says: "In the right tone you can say everything, in the wrong tone nothing, the art is to find the right tone".

Practice saying things in a neutral tone of voice like you'd say "the sun is shining" If somebody is overstepping your boundaries inform them: "I didn't like that comment" or "I don't like you talking to me in that tone". If they go on, request them to stop: "I ask you to stop talking to me like this". By now most people should get it, but there are always one or two that continue. If that happens - insist: "I insist that you stop talking to me in that way." If all three steps don't help - leave! Walk away neutrally stating "I can't have this conversation, while you are Let's talk later."

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xx,

Sonya

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