#135: When it comes to men and conflict, I typically see two conditioned responses:

1. Avoid
2. Lose Their Shit

Neither of which are becoming of a Great Man.

The Avoidants lose all sense of their boundaries, because they have none.

• They have difficulty identifying what they stand for...because they've never truly stood up for anything.
• They typically end up exhausted and cynical from a lifetime of biting their tongue and eating shit.

On the other hand, the guys who lose their shit leave a path of destruction in their wake.

• They create an environment of fear
• They bully others to suppress their true feelings

A Great Man savors conflict. He doesn't see it as a threat to his existence, his masculinity or how he looks.

He recognizes conflict as:

• A powerful source for personal growth
• For forging deep, trusting bonds with others
• For finding his ultimate source of power and purpose.

In this Episode:

• 3 reasons why men avoid conflict
• Why you want to build conflict stamina
• How men's brains rely on a different emotional system than women's brains during conflict
• Why in men, the brain's response to anger can produce feelings of pleasure because of the hormones that are released
• How to know which battles to fight and which to let go
• 3 powerful payoffs of learning how to savor conflict

Resources Mentioned:

• The Male Brain by Dr. Louanne Brizendine
• Sacred Hoops by Phil Jackson
• 2 Reasons Why Your Man Hates Conflict by Shaunti Feldhahn
• Why Fighting is Necessary in Relationships by Jordan Peterson (YouTube Video)