Have you ever uttered the words "I’m fine" in response to someone asking how you are? And more to the point, have you ever said those words when you know, deep down, that you’re pretty far from fine? Most men have, and do.

This episode of Middle Man was recorded live for International Men’s Day, and explores why so many men default to the phrase “I’m fine" even when they’re anything but. I'm joined by a panel of men working across male mental health, coaching and therapy: founder of ReachUs Jamie Humphrey; wellbeing coach and keynote speaker Andrew Pain; men's coach Dan Glyde; Dr Ed Rainbow; and therapist Olumide Ajulo.

Across the discussion, the group dismantles the long-held cultural scripts that keep men silent: the Man Code, fear of shame, rigid expectations to be providers and protectors, and generations of conditioning that equate vulnerability with weakness. We talk openly about false bravado, emotional suppression, and the psychological strain of performing versions of ourselves that don’t match who we really are.

We also examine the subtle ways men distance themselves from support, and explore the power of community, reciprocity, and shoulder-to-shoulder conversation, as well as the importance of therapy, self-reflection and learning emotional language.

Ultimately, the episode is an invitation for men to start talking differently - with friends, partners and themselves. It’s a reminder that opening up doesn’t diminish masculinity; it broadens it. And that the simple act of not saying “I’m fine” could be the first step toward real connection and healing.

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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

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The last season of Middle Man finished with me saying the show would be back after the summer. But the summer came and went, and nothing. I've had messages asking when the podcast will be returning and enquiring after me, but nothing new has been published. Until now. So why the disappearing act?

In today's episode, I talk honestly about what has been happening behind the scenes. I explain how what started as a planned summer break turned into something more serious: a relapse in mindset. And I reflect on how months of business decline, disrupted family life, financial pressure and health concerns slowly accumulated to pull me back into the feelings that first triggered Middle Man - overwhelm, self-doubt, loss of joy, and the sense of failing the people I love.

I'm joined by fellow midlife podcaster Simon Burgess for an extremely frank and unfiltered exploration of the emotional realities many men experience but seldom articulate. We discuss the exhaustion of waking each day feeling empty, the constant mental noise, the fear of an uncertain future, and the guilt of feeling like you’re not enough for your family.

The episode features a deeply personal, raw, bluntly honest and hopefully compassionate conversation for anyone feeling stuck, scared, or simply human.

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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

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In this special anniversary episode of Middle Man I sit down with my wife, Michelle, for a candid reflection on one year of exploring midlife as a man. I answer questions submitted by listeners that cover everything from what I've learned from doing the show and favourite guests and episodes to my own emotional health and self-worth, retirement, and building a more intentional life.

During the conversation I share how far I've come, from feeling lost and apathetic to having a renewed sense of direction and purpose, thanks in part to the podcast itself and to coaching, and in part to simple daily habits like cold water immersion and journaling. We discuss the surprising emotional impact the podcast has had, listener feedback, and how talking openly has deepened our relationship. But I also open up about setbacks, especially around self-doubt and the challenge of building Middle Man into something bigger - an essential resource hub for men in midlife.

The episode is honest, vulnerable and full of insight not just for men navigating their own midlife reset, but also for their partners. If you’ve ever questioned what’s next or how to regain your spark, this conversation is packed with reflections and tools to help.

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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

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Many midlife men feel isolated or overwhelmed but remain silent, often unaware that help is available or assuming they just need to ‘get on with it’. As a direct result they grapple with a number of emotional, social and practical challenges, from dwindling friendships and financial strain to burnout, low self-esteem, and a loss of joy.

This week Paul is joined by Darren Lawrence, a coach and consultant to men who recently conducted a study called Understanding Men in Midlife that looks at what challenges midlife men face and what the hidden realities of male midlife are.

They discuss the key findings from Darren’s research, including that 78% of men believe more support is needed, while over a quarter are either just surviving or feeling completely overwhelmed. Friendship loss and low energy top the list of concerns, yet many don’t know where to turn.

Reflecting on his own experiences with redundancy, divorce and career reinvention, Darren opens up about how these events sparked his passion for helping other men navigate similar transitions. He also challenges the myth that ‘men don’t talk’, and calls for better awareness of how we support midlife wellbeing in families, workplaces, and communities.

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You can connect with Darren on LinkedIn.

If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

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Whether it’s a failed relationship or a career that is no longer fulfilling, many midlife men find themselves trapped in a life that they can no longer tolerate. Regardless, they try and live a conventional life governed by traditional expectations and practical considerations; working unfulfilling jobs to support a family, suppressing creative ambitions, and slowly losing touch with their identity.

This week Paul is joined by Paul Marsh who, after 30 years of suffering a profound sense of purposelessness, is determined to make changes. Feeling trapped and isolated, he battled poor mental health for years, eventually leaving a relationship that wasn’t working and following a lifelong passion to try and establish himself as an artist.

In a deeply personal conversation, Paul tells the story of how what began as a small, private escape became a vital source of self-expression, mental healing, and ultimately, professional ambition. He speaks candidly about the financial and emotional challenges of midlife change, the gender dynamics of the art world, and why he believes creativity is a vital outlet for men who struggle to articulate their emotions. Paul’s journey offers insight, inspiration and hope for anyone ready to rewrite their own story.

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You can connect with Paul on Instagram at @pfmarsh.

If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

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There has been a huge rise in the number of autism and ADHD diagnoses over the last two decades. And while many midlife men have spent years being treated for anxiety or depression without ever understanding the root cause, there could be a link between their mental health struggles and undiagnosed neurodiversity.

This week Paul is joined by Dr Martin Brunet, author of the book Your Worry Makes Sense, to explore the hidden mental health struggles faced by midlife men and how neurodivergent conditions like autism and ADHD often go unrecognised in men in their 40s and 50s.

Cultural and generational factors have led to underdiagnosis, but greater awareness today is helping men make sense of lifelong challenges. Martin discusses how understanding your own mental health and potential neurodiversity can lead to more compassionate self-management and a more sustainable lifestyle.

The conversation also highlights the unique pressures midlife men face: career responsibility, caregiving roles, and the tendency to ‘push on’ rather than ask for help. And Martin’s message is clear: education is empowerment, and understanding your own mental landscape could be the first step to a more balanced, fulfilling life.

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You can follow Martin on Instagram and buy Your Worry Makes Sense on Amazon.

If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

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Menopause exploded into the public consciousness a few years ago thanks largely to the book Menopausing by Davina McCall and Dr Naomi Potter. While a woman’s experience of menopause is deeply personal, it also touches the men around them - partners, colleagues, friends, and family.

This week Paul is joined by co-author of Menopausing and founder of the UK’s leading menopause clinic, Dr Potter. Through the lens of the people who love the women going through it, they explore the realities of menopause and perimenopause in an attempt to gain a better understanding of their impact.

Naomi explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, highlighting the chaotic hormone fluctuations, the 70+ symptoms women may face, and the mental toll it can take, including loss of identity, confidence, and energy. 

The conversation delves into the stigma and misdiagnosis still surrounding menopause, and Naomi discusses how awareness is growing and encourages men to educate themselves, listen with empathy, and avoid personalising the emotional and behavioural changes they might witness.

This episode is a must-listen for any man wanting to better support the women in his life and for anyone curious about the emotional, physical, and relational impacts of menopause.

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You can follow Naomi on Instagram and buy Menopausing on Amazon.

If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

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Coping mechanisms can take many forms for midlife men, from drinking a bit too much to isolating oneself to overworking to emotional eating. Self harm can be at the more extreme end of the scale, but it is not uncommon for a man experiencing burnout, anxiety or depression to use this as a way of getting through life.

This week Paul is joined by David Salmon for a deeply personal and raw conversation. David has been though a number of traumatic life events in recent years, and opens up about confronting in midlife a deep-rooted coping mechanism that no longer served him. He describes the challenges that have shadowed him since his teenage years and culminated in a crisis during the pandemic.

Through therapy, self-reflection, and supportive relationships, David has gradually learned to understand his mental health, identifying patterns of self-criticism, stress responses, and the shame that often keeps men suffering in silence. He speaks candidly about the emotional toll of being a people pleaser in high-pressure work environments, the loneliness of modern male life, and the importance of creating space for meaning and connection beyond career achievements.

If you or anyone around you is affected by this episode, you can contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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You can connect with David on LinkedIn.

If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

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The divorce rate among men in their 40s is the highest of any age group, remaining stubbornly high at a time when the overall rate of divorce is falling. At a time when several other areas of life can be challenging, the failure of a marriage in midlife can have a devastating impact. 

This week Paul talks to Sara Davison, AKA The Divorce Coach, about why so many midlife marriages falter and how to regain momentum when they do. She describes the emotional paralysis many feel post-divorce, and explains how divorce in midlife isn’t just a legal process; it’s an emotional, financial, and identity-shattering event.

Sara also shares her very personal journey from the trauma of a blindsiding breakup to becoming one of the UK’s most respected breakup and divorce coaches. Drawing on her own devastating experience and years of coaching, she explores factors such as unspoken resentments, poor communication, and simply growing apart.

Sara also explains how men and women experience and process divorce differently, why midlife can be a period of profound self-reassessment, and how rebuilding a sense of purpose is essential. If you’re facing the end of a relationship or navigating the emotional aftermath, this episode is filled with compassionate insight, practical advice on regaining momentum, and the power of clarity to help you take back control of your life.

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You can find out more about Sara's work at saradavison.com or follow her on Instagram at @saradavisondivorcecoach

If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Losing your job in midlife can be take a significant emotional and psychological toll. From guilt, shame and loss of identity, redundancy is often accompanied by a messy and non-linear form of grief. Making space for that pain is a vital part of recovery, but once you have acknowledged that it is time to start to embrace possibility.

This week Paul talks to career change coach and the author of the book Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, Eleanor Twedell. She believes that in your darkest hour, you can begin to shape a life that’s more aligned, meaningful, and entirely your own. As such, she says that job loss can actually lead to empowerment and growth.

Eleanor shares her deeply personal story of being made redundant at 40 during a time of immense personal upheaval. She also shares practical models to help others move forward. These range from identifying immediate needs v long-term wants, to choosing whether to stick, twist, or completely reinvent.

For some, redundancy is a gateway to freedom, courage, and purpose. For others, it’s a route back into their careers - wiser, clearer, and on their own terms.

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You can find buy Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You on Amazon, and connect with Eleanor on LinkedIn.

If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast

I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast