Middle Man

By Paul SuttonHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement

Middle Man episodes

February 25 Coping With the Grief of Parental Loss
On 4th February, my mum died. She was 80 years old and had lived with Alzheimer's dementia for seven years. Her passing follows the death of my dad less than three years ago after a long battle with a degenerative condition related to Parkinson's. The grief and sadness I have felt have been intertwined with relief, guilt and shame, and so this week I talk to psychotherapist Bill Sullivan to try and make sense of the grief of parental loss.
This is not a polished conversation about grief, but a raw and honest exploration of what loss actually feels like in midlife. I talk openly about the complexity of the emotions I have been feeling now that years of caregiving responsibility have come to an end, and I ask questions about whether my grief response is 'normal'.
We unpack anticipatory grief, caregiver fatigue, the dual process of loss and restoration and how we oscillate between practical functioning and emotional overwhelm. We explore what it means to lose not just a parent, but the sense of safety and structure that having living parents provides, even in adulthood. And we challenge cultural expectations around how men 'should' grieve.
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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
1 hr 4 min
February 18 What Nobody Tells You About Sex in Midlife, with Ruth Ramsay
There's a lot of misunderstanding around sex in midlife. The commonly held belief is that libido wanes due largely to hormonal changes, but this narrative is not only simplistic but also damaging. Coupled with the media focus on young people when it comes to sex, it creates an impression that people in midlife don't somehow deserve to feel vibrant and to have sexual desire. And that in turn can lead to a lack of intimacy and unhappiness, and can damage otherwise healthy relationships.
This week Paul is joined by sex educator and coach Ruth Ramsay for an open and deeply honest conversation about what really happens to desire, intimacy and connection in midlife. Ruth shares her unconventional journey from journalist and striptease artist to sex coach, and speaks candidly about the emotional meaning of sex for men - that of not just physical release, but feeling wanted, seen and connected.
Ruth discusses now desire is far more closely linked to how we feel about our bodies, our right to be sexual, and the quality of communication within our relationships than simply hormones, and explores how stress, shame, body image, exhaustion and resentment can quietly shut down desire. She also talks about why long-term couples often drift into sexless patterns, and how misunderstanding can create painful distance.
Ruth reframes midlife not as sexual decline but as potential transformation and, at its heart, this episode is about vulnerability, communication and rediscovering intimacy. And proving that midlife can be the beginning of the most connected sex of your life.
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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
1 hr 4 min
February 11 Midlife Stories: Living With Constant Self Doubt, with Graham Wood
Comparison can be a paralysing trap that it's very hard to break free from. Clouded in a mindset of self-doubt, nothing ever feels enough, no matter what you achieve or how outwardly successful you appear. Comparison slowly erodes self-worth and leads to a life full of unsatisfaction that comes to a head in midlife.
This week Paul is joined by Graham Wood for a remarkably candid and open conversation about a lifetime of anxiety, self-doubt and relentless comparison. Graham reflects on how an experience in childhood shaped his sense of self-worth, planting patterns of insecurity that followed him into adulthood. Despite a strong career, a long marriage, financial stability and raising twin teenagers, he describes living with persistent anxiety, low mood and insomnia due to deeply ingrained patterns of thinking.
The episode explores how midlife can intensify long-standing mental health challenges, and Graham talks openly about job loss, career uncertainty in his 50s, worries about retirement, and the mental toll of constant rumination about past decisions and future fears. He also shares his experiences with therapy, antidepressants, self-help books, mindfulness, gratitude practices and the ongoing search for a “magic bullet” that never quite arrives.
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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
44 min
February 04 The Stories Keeping You Stuck in Midlife with Fiona Maguire
Some of the most common feelings that men report experiencing during midlife are being stuck and lost, or being overwhelmed and 'running on empty'. Having spent decades putting others first, they run into problems when life switches up and they find they are low on energy and drive, without any idea how to address this
This week Paul is joined by transformation coach and psychologist Fiona Maguire for a wide-ranging, candid and spiritual conversation about burnout, identity, intuition and what it really means to feel stuck in midlife. Fiona explores why so many people, particularly men, feel drained, disconnected and trapped in repetitive routines. She argues that burnout is often less about external pressures and more about losing touch with our inner guidance, or what she calls the “higher self”. When we live on autopilot, identified solely with our roles, responsibilities and circumstances, we disconnect from the deeper intelligence that fuels energy, purpose and joy.
Drawing on her own near-death experience and a period of profound physical and emotional collapse, Fiona shares how losing her sense of identity forced her to confront the stories she had unconsciously built about herself. That breakdown, she explains, became a gateway to a deeper understanding of self-limitation, trauma responses and emotional regulation.
This episode is a personal, thoughtful and compassionate exploration of why midlife can feel so heavy, and how reconnecting inwardly can help us reclaim calm, motivation and a more fulfilled way of living.
42 min
January 28 What You Think You Want Is Probably Wrong - Dan Glyde on Setting Intentions
Goal setting as a motivational strategy is very en vogue. Especially at the start of a new year. But the problem with goals is that they encourage you to seek a specific and defined destination, and that it's very easy to be knocked off course by setbacks. Progress is rarely linear. So instead of setting goals, what about defining clear intentions as a compass for how we want to live, show up, and feel?
This week Paul is joined by men's coach Daniel Glyde to discuss intentions, resilience and navigating the inevitable setbacks of midlife. Dan challenges the idea of rigid goal-setting, and encourages men to focus on direction, values and energy rather than chasing destinations. He believes in setting intentions without expectations, and allowing clarity to emerge through action, and he also pushes the idea that what we are really chasing is not money, status or achievement, but ways of feeling: freedom, connection, contentment and purpose.
The conversation explores how intentions differ from goals and why flexibility matters, and also dives into the reality of setbacks - from personal loss to long periods of feeling stuck - and why resilience is not about 'pushing through', but about learning how to respond rather than react.
If you're someone who is struggling with direction in midlife, takes setbacks hard or who is looking for a more intentional way to approach the next chapter, this is a thoughtful and grounded episode for you.
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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
49 min
November 26, 2025 Why Do Men Hide Behind "I'm Fine"?
Have you ever uttered the words "I’m fine" in response to someone asking how you are? And more to the point, have you ever said those words when you know, deep down, that you’re pretty far from fine? Most men have, and do.
This episode of Middle Man was recorded live for International Men’s Day, and explores why so many men default to the phrase “I’m fine" even when they’re anything but. I'm joined by a panel of men working across male mental health, coaching and therapy: founder of ReachUs Jamie Humphrey; wellbeing coach and keynote speaker Andrew Pain; men's coach Dan Glyde; Dr Ed Rainbow; and therapist Olumide Ajulo.
Across the discussion, the group dismantles the long-held cultural scripts that keep men silent: the Man Code, fear of shame, rigid expectations to be providers and protectors, and generations of conditioning that equate vulnerability with weakness. We talk openly about false bravado, emotional suppression, and the psychological strain of performing versions of ourselves that don’t match who we really are.
We also examine the subtle ways men distance themselves from support, and explore the power of community, reciprocity, and shoulder-to-shoulder conversation, as well as the importance of therapy, self-reflection and learning emotional language.
Ultimately, the episode is an invitation for men to start talking differently - with friends, partners and themselves. It’s a reminder that opening up doesn’t diminish masculinity; it broadens it. And that the simple act of not saying “I’m fine” could be the first step toward real connection and healing.
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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
46 min
November 20, 2025 Relapse
The last season of Middle Man finished with me saying the show would be back after the summer. But the summer came and went, and nothing. I've had messages asking when the podcast will be returning and enquiring after me, but nothing new has been published. Until now. So why the disappearing act?
In today's episode, I talk honestly about what has been happening behind the scenes. I explain how what started as a planned summer break turned into something more serious: a relapse in mindset. And I reflect on how months of business decline, disrupted family life, financial pressure and health concerns slowly accumulated to pull me back into the feelings that first triggered Middle Man - overwhelm, self-doubt, loss of joy, and the sense of failing the people I love.
I'm joined by fellow midlife podcaster Simon Burgess for an extremely frank and unfiltered exploration of the emotional realities many men experience but seldom articulate. We discuss the exhaustion of waking each day feeling empty, the constant mental noise, the fear of an uncertain future, and the guilt of feeling like you’re not enough for your family.
The episode features a deeply personal, raw, bluntly honest and hopefully compassionate conversation for anyone feeling stuck, scared, or simply human.
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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
34 min
July 30, 2025 One Year On: What I’ve Learned About Midlife (and Myself)
In this special anniversary episode of Middle Man I sit down with my wife, Michelle, for a candid reflection on one year of exploring midlife as a man. I answer questions submitted by listeners that cover everything from what I've learned from doing the show and favourite guests and episodes to my own emotional health and self-worth, retirement, and building a more intentional life.
During the conversation I share how far I've come, from feeling lost and apathetic to having a renewed sense of direction and purpose, thanks in part to the podcast itself and to coaching, and in part to simple daily habits like cold water immersion and journaling. We discuss the surprising emotional impact the podcast has had, listener feedback, and how talking openly has deepened our relationship. But I also open up about setbacks, especially around self-doubt and the challenge of building Middle Man into something bigger - an essential resource hub for men in midlife.
The episode is honest, vulnerable and full of insight not just for men navigating their own midlife reset, but also for their partners. If you’ve ever questioned what’s next or how to regain your spark, this conversation is packed with reflections and tools to help.
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If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
48 min
July 23, 2025 A Quarter of Men are 'Just Surviving' or Feeling Overwhelmed - Darren Lawrence on Men Needing Help
Many midlife men feel isolated or overwhelmed but remain silent, often unaware that help is available or assuming they just need to ‘get on with it’. As a direct result they grapple with a number of emotional, social and practical challenges, from dwindling friendships and financial strain to burnout, low self-esteem, and a loss of joy.
This week Paul is joined by Darren Lawrence, a coach and consultant to men who recently conducted a study called Understanding Men in Midlife that looks at what challenges midlife men face and what the hidden realities of male midlife are.
They discuss the key findings from Darren’s research, including that 78% of men believe more support is needed, while over a quarter are either just surviving or feeling completely overwhelmed. Friendship loss and low energy top the list of concerns, yet many don’t know where to turn.
Reflecting on his own experiences with redundancy, divorce and career reinvention, Darren opens up about how these events sparked his passion for helping other men navigate similar transitions. He also challenges the myth that ‘men don’t talk’, and calls for better awareness of how we support midlife wellbeing in families, workplaces, and communities.
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You can connect with Darren on LinkedIn.
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
48 min
July 16, 2025 Midlife Stories: Making Space in Your Life For Yourself, with Paul Marsh
Whether it’s a failed relationship or a career that is no longer fulfilling, many midlife men find themselves trapped in a life that they can no longer tolerate. Regardless, they try and live a conventional life governed by traditional expectations and practical considerations; working unfulfilling jobs to support a family, suppressing creative ambitions, and slowly losing touch with their identity.
This week Paul is joined by Paul Marsh who, after 30 years of suffering a profound sense of purposelessness, is determined to make changes. Feeling trapped and isolated, he battled poor mental health for years, eventually leaving a relationship that wasn’t working and following a lifelong passion to try and establish himself as an artist.
In a deeply personal conversation, Paul tells the story of how what began as a small, private escape became a vital source of self-expression, mental healing, and ultimately, professional ambition. He speaks candidly about the financial and emotional challenges of midlife change, the gender dynamics of the art world, and why he believes creativity is a vital outlet for men who struggle to articulate their emotions. Paul’s journey offers insight, inspiration and hope for anyone ready to rewrite their own story.
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You can connect with Paul on Instagram at @pfmarsh.
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
44 min

About Middle Man

From the publisher's feed

From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. But on the inside, I was deeply unhappy.…