Middle Man

Why Do Men Hide Behind "I'm Fine"?


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Have you ever uttered the words "I’m fine" in response to someone asking how you are? And more to the point, have you ever said those words when you know, deep down, that you’re pretty far from fine? Most men have, and do.
This episode of Middle Man was recorded live for International Men’s Day, and explores why so many men default to the phrase “I’m fine" even when they’re anything but. I'm joined by a panel of men working across male mental health, coaching and therapy: founder of ReachUs Jamie Humphrey; wellbeing coach and keynote speaker Andrew Pain; men's coach Dan Glyde; Dr Ed Rainbow; and therapist Olumide Ajulo.
Across the discussion, the group dismantles the long-held cultural scripts that keep men silent: the Man Code, fear of shame, rigid expectations to be providers and protectors, and generations of conditioning that equate vulnerability with weakness. We talk openly about false bravado, emotional suppression, and the psychological strain of performing versions of ourselves that don’t match who we really are.
We also examine the subtle ways men distance themselves from support, and explore the power of community, reciprocity, and shoulder-to-shoulder conversation, as well as the importance of therapy, self-reflection and learning emotional language.
Ultimately, the episode is an invitation for men to start talking differently - with friends, partners and themselves. It’s a reminder that opening up doesn’t diminish masculinity; it broadens it. And that the simple act of not saying “I’m fine” could be the first step toward real connection and healing.
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Middle ManBy Paul Sutton

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