Middle Man

By Paul SuttonHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement

Middle Man episodes

March 12, 2025 Retirement is a Dangerous Illusion - Ken Valledy on Midlife Careers
There’s very little more soul destroying for a midlife man than working in a job or a career for which he has lost his passion. And yet we tell ourselves the story that everyone has to do this, that it’s only for another 15 or 20 years, and that then we can retire and enjoy ourselves. Not realising that that impact of doing something that doesn’t fulfil you for two decades is incredibly detrimental to your health and wellbeing.
This week Paul talks to Ken Valledy, who works with midlife men to explore the possibilities of entrepreneurship and to help them break free of the constraints of lifelong careers that they don’t enjoy. Ken believes that if you’re someone who’s reached a stage in your life where you want more from the time you spend at work, it’s within your power to do something about that, no matter whether you’re a corporate high flyer or a painter and decorator.
While there’s an awful lot to be said for pivoting career in midlife, there are also practical implications, mostly around money. But Ken challenges the notion that people must endure careers they no longer enjoy because of finances, and argues that alternative paths, such as side hustles or starting a business, are within reach for many to find fulfillment.
He debunks some of the myths surrounding entrepreneurship, and introduces a practical approach designed to help individuals take small, manageable steps toward career independence. If you’re fed up in your job but feel powerless to do anything about it, this episode will prove to you that there’s more to life than waiting for retirement.
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You can contact Ken on LinkedIn and buy The Startup Lexicon on Amazon.
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
51 min
March 05, 2025 Most Doctors Have Never Even Heard of Andropause! - Ross Tomkins on Low Testosterone
The andropause, or the male menopause, is the decline in testosterone that occurs naturally in men from their mid 30s onwards. Unlike the female menopause, the hormonal changes we experience are slow and subtle. And unlike the menopause, andropause is not a widely recognised medical condition. But the impact of low testosterone can be significant in some men.
Ross Tomkins is the co-founder of Alphagenix, which offers medically supervised testosterone replacement therapy. He founded the company to help men following his own experiences within both the NHS and private practice. He believes that not only are many men misdiagnosed with depression rather than low testosterone, but that most GPs have not even heard of the andropause.
This week Paul talks to Ross about how low testosterone typically manifests and what the impact can be on men’s mental and physical health. Ross shares his personal journey of struggling with low testosterone, being dismissed by multiple doctors, and ultimately finding answers through testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). He discusses why men are often prescribed antidepressants instead of addressing underlying hormonal imbalances.
The conversation explores the stigma around low testosterone, the reluctance of men to seek help, and how lifestyle factors like diet, sleep, and exercise can naturally boost hormone levels before considering TRT. Ross also highlights the potential long-term implications of declining testosterone levels, including its links to midlife crises and even male suicide rates.
If you feel like you’ve lost your drive, energy or motivation, this episode provides crucial insights into why that might be, and what you can do about it.
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You can find out more about testosterone replacement therapy at www.alphagenix.co.uk and contact Ross on LinkedIn.
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
53 min
February 26, 2025 Midlife Stories: Reinventing Life, with Paul Flynn
Life changes can come thick and fast during midlife. From changes to family set up, whether that be having children or marriage break ups or kids leaving home, to shifts in career, to changes in location and social dynamics, to parental illness and death, midlife can be a tumultuous time when it is easy to fine yourself feeling overwhelmed, disconnected and lost.
This week Paul talks to Paul Flynn who, after a number of big life changes in his late 30s and early 40s, found himself feeling isolated, unfulfilled and longing for his former lifestyle. But then he discovered outdoor swimming and the trajectory of his life changed radically.
What started as a solo pursuit led to the creation of a new wild swimming club and a community offering midlife men the opportunity to reconnect with themselves, nature, and each other. Paul shares how swimming in icy waters became a game-changer for his mental wellbeing, reigniting his sense of adventure, forging new friendships and creating a new career path. And he talks about the importance of saying “yes” to new experiences and the small but powerful steps that can shift midlife from a crisis to a new beginning.
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You can find out more about the Blue Bloods Wild Swim Club on Facebook.
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
52 min
February 19, 2025 Cold Water Immersion: Science v Sensation, with Dr Heather Massey
Cold water immersion has gained a reputation over the last few years as a bit of a cure-all for both physical and mental wellbeing, whether that’s wild swimming or a plunge pool or cold showers. But what does the science actually say?
This week Paul talks to Dr Heather Massey, an environmental physiology researcher at the University of Portsmouth and a passionate outdoor swimmer. Heather brings both academic expertise and personal experience to the topic, exploring how exposure to cold water affects the body and the mind.
She explains the cold shock response and what this does to the body physiologically, and talks about the limited studies that have been done to investigate the potential link between cold exposure and mental health. She also shares insights from her current clinical trials investigating such effects and discusses whether the benefits are likely to come from the water itself or the sense of accomplishment that follows immersion.
Whether you're a sceptic, a seasoned cold water swimmer, or just curious about the trend, this episode provides an informed and balanced perspective on the potential benefits and risks of cold water immersion.
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You can find out more about The OUTdoor Swimming as a nature-based Intervention for DEpression (OUTSIDE) study at outside2.co.uk
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
39 min
February 12, 2025 Therapy Should Not Be a Last Resort, with Bill Sullivan
When it comes to therapy, men are reluctant to seek help. Most will only turn to psychotherapy when they hit crisis point, and even many of those who do seek out help will only do so because they’ve been given an ultimatum by their partner.
This week Paul talks to Bill Sullivan, a psychotherapist who does a lot of work with middle aged men, about how therapy could and should support people navigating the challenges of midlife. Bill explains the emotional avoidance that has shaped generations and, within that context, why societal expectations means that many men hesitate to seek help when they need it.
He shares insights into how therapy helps men identify and process emotions, break patterns of low self-esteem, and develop healthier coping strategies. And we dive into the challenges of perceived success, where men who seem to have it all (careers, families, financial stability) still feel lost or unfulfilled.
We also discuss the differences between therapy and coaching, and how therapy focuses on emotions and uncovering the root causes of struggles. If you’ve ever wondered whether therapy could benefit you, this show will give you the answer.
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Connect with Bill on LinkedIn.
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-therapy-last-resort
46 min
February 05, 2025 Loneliness is as Harmful as Smoking - David Robson on Social Connection
Loneliness among midlife men is at epidemic levels. One in five men report having no close friends, and loneliness is reported to be as bad for you as smoking or drinking excessively. Some argue that it is more dangerous than cancer due to the sheer number of people it impacts and its mental and physical effects.
David Robson is the author of the book Laws of Connection, which explores why social connection matters even more than we thought, and how to build better relationships and improve our lives. This week, Paul talks to David about the science of human connection, why so many people, men in particular, struggle to form deep friendships, and how societal norms contribute to this.
David explains key psychological concepts from his book including creating shared realities and the liking gap, which causes people to underestimate how much others like them. He also discusses prioritising honesty over kindness to form deeper, more meaningful relationships.
For anyone feeling disconnected or unsure how to deepen their social bonds, David offers actionable insights and practical strategies grounded in psychology to overcome social anxiety, build confidence in social situations and foster stronger relationships.
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Buy the book Laws of Connection on Amazon.
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-loneliness
58 min
January 29, 2025 We Are Catastrophising Sleep! - Stephanie Romiszewski on Sleep in Midlife
Sleep is something that it’s incredibly important we pay close attention to for our physical health and mental wellbeing. Or so we are led to believe by the media. But acclaimed sleep physiologist Stephanie Romiszewski has a different take on this. She says that we have to stop worrying about sleep, as this is doing more harm than good.
Stephanie is the founder of Sleepy Head Clinic and has a course on the BBC called Better Sleep, and this week Paul talks to her about sleep in midlife. We discuss how it changes as we age, and what we should be doing - and not doing - to ensure our sleep patterns are natural and restorative without becoming a focus for our lives.
We talk about why consistent wake-up times are more important than rigid bedtimes, how to manage poor sleep without spiraling into frustration, and the science behind light exposure in regulating our body clocks. Stephanie also explains why popular sleep aids and strict ‘sleep hygiene’ routines might not be as effective as they seem.
She also highlights the importance of understanding sleep systems, like your sleep drive and circadian rhythm, and offers strategies to rest better without creating unhealthy habits.
Whether you’re a lifelong insomniac or someone looking to optimise your overall wellbeing, Stephanie’s practical, science-back advice will bust some common myths, improve your sleep habits and change the way you think about sleep forever.
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Find out more about Stephanie’s personalised sleep support at www.sleepyheadclinic.co.uk or check out her online course at www.re-sleep.com
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-sleep
54 min
January 22, 2025 Add 10 Years to Your Life Just by Changing Your Diet! - Dr Federica Amati on Midlife Nutrition
There is an overwhelming amount of content out there about what we should eat and how we should eat it. A lot of it is confusing and contradictory, and most of us simply want down-to-earth, practical advice that we can use every day to help us live healthier and longer lives.
Dr Federica Amati is a medical scientist and nutritionist, and the author of the book Every Body Should Know This. The book approaches nutrition and diet from a life-stage perspective, outlining how our body's requirements change as we age. And it provides an easy to follow blueprint on how and what to eat in midlife and beyond.
Fede believes that making even small, sustainable changes can drastically transform both quality and length of life. In today’s show, she talks to Paul about how critical nutrition is in preventing an early death from chronic diseases such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and colorectal cancer, and she also debunks common misconceptions about specific dietary plans.
Fede shares practical tips on adopting healthier food habits into your lifestyle, and talks about the foods that we really need to eat and to avoid for longevity and vitality.
If you’re looking to improve your energy levels, manage midlife health risks, or simply learn how to make better food choices, Fede’s down-to-earth advice is exactly what you need.
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Follow Fede on Instagram at @dr.fede.amati
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-nutrition
48 min
January 15, 2025 The Brutal Truth About Alcohol and Psychological Dependence with William Porter
Many people have a complicated relationship with alcohol. They enjoy the perceived social benefits and the escapism it offers, but are also very aware that what they’re doing is little more than masking stress or anxiety.
This week Paul talks to William Porter, author of the book Alcohol Explained, to explore the profound effects that alcohol has on our bodies, minds, and lives. William believes in self-knowledge and his approach is very much one of education, offering a fresh perspective on why alcohol often exacerbates the very issues people use it to address.
He talks about the physical and psychological dependencies associated with drinking, the significant impact of alcohol on sleep, and how even moderate drinking can affect energy levels, anxiety, and overall mental health. And he explains how shifting your mindset and analysing your habits can lead to lasting change.
William also candidly shares his personal journey of giving up alcohol over a decade ago, delving into the challenges, insights, and life changes that followed. For anyone considering reducing their alcohol intake, whether as a casual drinker taking part in Dry January or someone looking to quit for good, this episode provides non-judgemental and thoughtful insights, practical advice, and encouragement.
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Read the first five chapters of Alcohol Explained for free at www.alcoholexplained.com
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-alcohol-dependence
52 min
January 08, 2025 You Don't Need to Exercise for Hours to Make a Big Difference - Sally Gunnell on Midlife Wellbeing
Wellbeing, both physical and mental, comes into sharp focus in midlife. We want to know more and we want do more. But the sheer volume and variety of advice out there can be overwhelming.
Sally Gunnell, former Olympic gold medallist turned health and wellbeing advocate knows more than most about physical and mental fitness. And in this week’s show, she shares her insights and practical advice into how to enhance physical and mental wellbeing in midlife, and maintain it as we age.
Sally believes in small but consistent habits that create lasting impact, and is a big advocate of building activities into your everyday life and incorporating movement into daily routines. We talk about the impact of a variety of physical and mental practices, including the importance of building muscle strength, the significance of cardio for cardiovascular health, the role of nutrition, breathwork and sleep
We explore some common misconceptions around exercise, while Sally shares per personal experiences with stress management and moving from being a top class athlete into the challenges of midlife.
If you’re a midlifer with a busy work and/or family life, Sally’s practical and down-to-earth advice is exactly what you’ve been waiting for to take control of your wellbeing journey.
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Find out more about Sally's corporate wellbeing services at www.sallygunnell.com
If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-wellbeing-sally-gunnell
46 min

About Middle Man

From the publisher's feed

From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. But on the inside, I was deeply unhappy.…