Middle Man

By Paul SuttonHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement

Middle Man episodes

October 02, 2024 The Cost of People Pleasing
Many midlife men have a problem with saying ‘yes’. In that they do it all the time out of habit, regardless of what’s best for them. They want to be seen as supportive in their professional or their family life and, though it comes from a good place, they end up overcommitting and never saying ‘no’ to anyone or anything.
Over time, this ‘people pleasing’ behaviour of consistently valuing others above yourself creates a disconnect between a man’s values and his actions that lowers his self-esteem and damages his mental health.
This week Paul explores people pleasing with Daniel Glyde, a coach who works with men on bettering themselves. They discuss how people pleasing can stem from a deep-rooted sense of not being enough, and how setting appropriate boundaries can have a hugely positive impact on a man’s mindset.
The key to correcting people pleasing behaviour likely lies in building self-trust and taking a pause before responding to requests to ensure choices are based on personal priorities rather than obligations. Aligning actions with values leads to a healthier, more fulfilled life and improves overall life satisfaction.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-people-pleasing
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
49 min
September 24, 2024 The Role of Purpose in Wellbeing
Lack of purpose is very often cited by men in midlife as a key driver of unhappiness and an area with which they really struggle. Many men’s sense of identity is often tied to their jobs or their family, and when these change or they lose the passion for their career or their relationships ends, it leaves a gaping hole.
This week Paul talks to Dr Ed Rainbow, a GP who believes that making scientifically proven changes to your life to improve your sense of wellbeing can often be better than medicine. He highlights the importance of understanding personal values and of making small changes to shift from feeling stagnant to purposeful. And he talks about identifying what drives a man personally in order to align their lives better with their true selves.
The conversation stresses the need for men to take proactive steps to address their mental health and sense of purpose, and looks at how a newly identified purpose in midlife can have significant benefits both mentally and physically.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-purpose-wellbeing
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
45 min
September 18, 2024 Midlife Stories: Surviving Bereavement by Suicide with Caroline Roodhouse
In 2018 Caroline Roodhouse was bereaved by suicide. Over the past six years, she has struggled to come to terms with her husband Steve’s death and how it has affected her and her two young daughters. But she has also shown incredible strength.
This week Caroline shares her personal journey of loss and healing. She tells Paul about the day Steve went missing and the subsequent two-day search, and describes how his sudden death left her in shock, leading to years of emotional turmoil, including anger, guilt, and severe struggles with her own mental health. She also recounts the impact of Steve’s death on their daughters, who have shown remarkable resilience in dealing with the stigma surrounding suicide.
Caroline reflects on how societal expectations contribute to men’s mental health struggles, urging men to reject these pressures and focus on the people who love them. And she stresses the importance of living in the present, finding strength in family, and embracing moments of hope amidst tragedy.
Through her writing and public speaking, Caroline hopes to raise awareness about the devastating effects of suicide and to encourage others to seek help. She has now written a book, Daddy Blackbird, which is available on Amazon.
If you, or anyone around you, is affected by this episode, you can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 or text "SHOUT" to 85258.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-caroline-roodhouse
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
57 min
September 10, 2024 The Male Suicide Crisis
One man dies by suicide every two hours in England and Wales, and the rate among men in their 40s and 50s is especially high. At a time when mens’ roles are changing so rapidly, cultural pressure for men to appear strong is unhelpful, and societal expectations of men, particularly stigma around vulnerability, prevent many from seeking help.
This week Paul talks to Mike Flynn, a facilitator at Andy’s Man Club, a UK-based charity aimed at suicide prevention. Mike openly shares his personal experiences of mental health, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and emphasises the importance of early intervention, encouraging men to reach out for support before hitting crisis point.
Andy’s Man Club is founded on the premise that it’s okay to talk about mental health issues and to seek help. It provides a safe and non-judgemental space for men to share their feelings, with the aim of helping men well before they reach the stage of suicidal ideation.
If you, or anyone around you, is affected by this episode, you can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 or text "SHOUT" to 85258.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-male-suicide-crisis
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
38 min
September 04, 2024 How to Change Career in Midlife
Changing career in middle age is perceived by many to be incredibly challenging and even unwise. Societal expectations often shape our perceptions of success, leading some midlife men to feel trapped in careers they no longer enjoy. They become disengaged and unfulfilled, and unsure of how to make any sort of change.
But it needn’t be this way. This week Paul talks to career coach Laura Allen, about navigating a midlife career transition. They look at the importance of aligning work with personal values and goals, and address common issues like burnout and the sunk cost fallacy.
They look at some of the constraints around changing careers, such as financial commitments, and talk about finding fulfilment through both career pivots and passion projects.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-change-career
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
45 min
August 28, 2024 Midlife Stories: Making A Career Pivot with Dirk Singer
In one of the most striking midlife career pivots you’ll hear about, Dirk Singer went from a 20 year career owning and running PR and social media agencies to become an expert in sustainable aviation.
This week Paul uncovers the whys and hows of Dirk’s story. They talk about how Dirk lost his passion for the digital marketing industry and how he then made the pivot to climate tech. And they also discuss the challenges and rewards of such as transition, the importance of continuous learning, and the challenges of overcoming age prejudice and the notion that people in their 50s can’t learn new skills or change careers.
The show also touches on areas as diverse as the financial and other demands on Dirk as he cares for his disabled son, the fact that retirement should now be on the horizon, and the importance of purpose and optimism in maintaining professional fulfilment and personal growth.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-dirk-singer
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
40 min
August 21, 2024 The Importance of Self Care and Having Fun
Midlife men often experience discontent and dissatisfaction, and it's important to take action to redesign this phase of life to maximise the future. Prioritising self-care, trying new things, and aligning personal growth with fun and momentum is an important step in this process.
This week Paul talks to midlife coach, author and podcaster Greg Scheinman about the challenges that men face in taking back control over their time, and about why this is not selfish but instead essential for showing up better in all aspects of life.
They discuss the importance of reframing perspective to find happiness and fulfilment, with an emphasis on being willing to try new things, embracing curiosity and making conscious choices in order to rediscover the fun in life.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-fun
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
41 min
August 14, 2024 Embrace Life by Facing Your Mortality
Some of the big challenges faced by midlife men are triggered by a creeping awareness of time passing and a desire to reclaim control over one's life. Awareness of our own mortality, normally prompted by the death of a parent or another loved one, can be confusing and daunting, whether consciously or subconsciously.
Self awareness and acknowledgement of these feelings is critical when it comes to navigating this challenge. This week Paul talks to leadership coach Andrew Waddell about facing and embracing our mortality with a view to living a purposeful and rich second half of life.
The discussion touches on societal taboos and attitudes around death, and highlights the importance of expressing emotions and seeking emotional support whether through friends, family, or professionals regardless of outdated expectations about a lack of open dialogue about feelings. By shifting our mindset, and being willing to confront difficult emotions, we can move from a place of feeling lost to one of possibility and fulfilment.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-facing-mortality
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
50 min
August 07, 2024 Trapped by the Life I Designed
Many midlife men feel trapped by societal expectations and the lives they've designed for themselves, leading to dissatisfaction with life and a loss of identity. But it doesn’t need to be this way.
This week Paul and his special guest, author and midlife coach Dan Stanley, discuss the challenges of midlife crises and share personal experiences of self-discovery. They look at the importance of self-awareness and shedding masks to reveal one's true identity while living intentionally.
Redefining success beyond external achievements and finding a safe space to express oneself without judgement are important considerations in midlife. And for men especially, the ability to engage in honest conversations, challenge outdated patriarchal models, and embrace a more compassionate and empathetic form of masculinity can lead to more purposeful and content lives.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-trapped-by-life
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
52 min
July 31, 2024 A Crash Course on the Impact of Midlife on Men
Midlife men face many challenges, not least of which are emotional struggles and the stigma associated with being middle aged. We frequently feel disconnected, frustrated and lonely due to societal pressures to suppress our emotions. This period, marked by low life satisfaction, peaks in our late 40s, when divorce rates and suicide rates are also at their highest.
This week Paul introduces three coaches to provide insights on navigating midlife; Dan Stanley, Greg Scheinman and Andrew Waddell. Together they talk about the inevitability of midlife reflection, discuss the common "is this it?" moment, and reveal the mindsets of those who thrive in midlife and those who struggle.
As well as providing information on midlife transitions, the show encourages proactive planning and self-awareness. It stresses the importance of alignment in life, making conscious choices, and shifting mindsets to focus on meaningful experiences. By understanding and addressing these challenges, men can be more fulfilled and joyful in the second half of their lives.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-crash-course
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
34 min

About Middle Man

From the publisher's feed

From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. But on the inside, I was deeply unhappy.…