A Life, Folded

One common trait of both narcissists and addicts is they often play the blame game, shifting their bad behavior off onto others. Especially when emotional abuse is present, it become easy, normal even, to accept the blame. It must be my fault, right? Sometimes that is easier than accepting the destructive patterns of those we love. But, it isn't your fault. This is gaslighting. You can not force someone to act out, no matter how annoying and faulted you are. This episode will empower you to know you are never to blame and offer strategies of how to push back and fight the blame game.

#alifefolded #laineycathan #narcissisticabuse #narcissism  #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #gaslighting #healingfromabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshiptrauma #traumahealing #selftrust #healingjourney #mentalhealthawareness #innerhealing #toxicrelationships #resiliencebeyondnarcissism #nervoussystemhealing #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101

For many of us, a bulk of our adult lives have been focused on managing an addicted or narcissistic partner. When we decide we wish to work toward personal healing after abuse, it can be a hard habit to break to not want to rescue or unduly concern ourselves on the behavior of others. Post divorce, it can be easy to cast doubt on yourself with regard to your decisions toward further relationships. Healing really is about championing the journey of others but concentrating our efforts on our own self-love with assurance that we are making positive strides on our own personal recovery pathway. 

#alifefolded #laineycathan #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #gaslighting #healingfromabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshiptrauma #traumahealing #selftrust #healingjourney #mentalhealthawareness #innerhealing #toxicrelationships #resiliencebeyondnarcissism #nervoussystemhealing #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #divorce #selfgaslighting #datingadvice 

Have you ever been on the receiving end of something where the giver insists they are serving you, yet, it’s impossible to feel grateful because it isn’t something you ever wanted or asked for? What you did request in clear language was completely ignored and the giver substituted something else entirely, yet they were upset when you aren’t excited about what they have deigned to give you?

Narcissists are famous, or perhaps infamous, for “serving” in ways that aren’t serving at all. Something feels wrong or off in their purported efforts. You are left feeling empty, and sometimes even resentful. You don’t feel like you are being served. And that’s because you aren’t. Narcissists aren’t capable of being thoughtful or thinking of others. "Service" to them is always performed to meet a selfish needs such as control, love bombing, or to help their public image. It is okay to be upset and recognize when you were served in selfish ways and then gaslighted when you weren’t overcome with gratitude for something you never wanted or asked for.

#alifefolded #laineycathan #narcissisticabuse #narcissism  #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #gaslighting #healingfromabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshiptrauma #traumahealing #selftrust #healingjourney #mentalhealthawareness #innerhealing #toxicrelationships #resiliencebeyondnarcissism #nervoussystemhealing #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101

Porn is not a harmless pastime. It chips away at relationships. It damages intimacy. It destroys trust. This episode discusses what is happening in the porn user's body, mind, and soul. The news of pornography's devastating effects is troubling, but there is also great hope of healing, change, and reclamation. 

#alifefolded #laineycathan #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore #fightthenewdrug

https://fightthenewdrug.org

We all have natural expectations with committed relationships--that our spouse or partner will be there for us during difficult times. After all, don't we promise in poverty and wealth, in sickness and health? Everyone knows that life brings ups and downs for all relationships. But, that person you have given so much love and support to will do the same when you need a little help. Right? Sadly, partners of narcissistic individuals often find that when they are not highly functioning they are met with disdain, impatience, and dismissal. Why can't a narcissist provide even the most basic care and compassion to those who love them?

#alifefolded #laineycathan #narcissisticabuse #narcissism  #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #gaslighting #healingfromabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshiptrauma #traumahealing #selftrust #healingjourney #mentalhealthawareness #innerhealing #toxicrelationships #resiliencebeyondnarcissism #nervoussystemhealing #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101 

Have you ever had someone respond to your troubles with something like, "Well, I choose to focus on gratitude and what I do have versus what I don't." Ouch! Gratitude is an amazing, and necessary, emotion. Expressing gratitude can do much to improve our lives. However, it can also be a trap. If we constantly force ourselves to put a positive spin on anything that happens, we can repress our feelings versus processing them. We can also stagnate in our personal development because we feel guilty for wanting more in our lives. Be grateful. Be tremendously and profoundly grateful. But don't feel bad about yourself is you are both grateful and experiencing a struggle. Life is full of duality and a "but-and" attitude can help us to acknowledge difficulties, and still process our pain. 

#alifefolded #laineycathan #gratitude #gratitudetrap #guiltfree #emotionsmatter #processingemotions #feelingsarevalid #feelingsarereal

There is a somewhat predicable pattern that narcissists use when securing their next source of supply or fuel. Or, when keeping their current supply at the ready. That is targeting, love bombing, devaluing, and discarding. This cycle will continually perpetuate itself unless we become educated, aware, and boundaried. We have a right be loved and honored by healthy individuals. Only we can end the narcissistic cycle of toxicity and pain.

#alifefolded #lovebombing #narcissisticdiscard #selflove #selfloved #selflovematters #selfloveera #selflovechallenage #selfcare #selfcarematters #selfcarejourney #narcissisticabuse #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101 

When you hear of someone struggling, do you want to jump in and help? Solve the problem? Or tell them how you know exactly how they feel? Well, congratulations, you are just like everyone else! It is a beautiful facet of human behavior that we want to help. But, ironically, when we say things with intended empathy such as, "I know exactly how you feel," we actually aren't displaying empathy. Even in very similar circumstances, we can never know precisely how someone else feels. By saying things such as that, we are unintentionally turning the conversation to ourselves. It is counterintuitive to be sure, but in this episode, we explore some alternative ways to listen and display empathy. 

#alifefolded #Empathy #Empathymatters #EmpathyInAction #EmpathyFirst #EmpathyChallenge #ihearyou #validation #listen #listeningskills

Research consistently shows that porn consumption is associated with poorer relationship quality and sexual dissatisfaction. The idea that porn is a personal decision that doesn’t affect anyone else is simply not supported by research. Porn use leads to a higher probability of cheating, lying, divorce, abuse, addiction, body dysmorphia, and performance issues. Let’s stop dancing around the lies that porn doesn’t ruins lives. Need we more evidence of the pure selfishness of porn?

#alifefolded #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore #fightthenewdrug

Most of us think of the aging process as a mellowing season. Many of us wish that the narcissists in our lives with also mellow with age. Unfortunately, narcissists typically get worse as they get older. They lose their looks and their charisma. They have burned bridges and have a shrinking pool of narcissistic supply to draw upon. Their children become more educated and learn about boundaries. Suddenly, everything is not about them and they no longer command the fear they once did. As a result, they tighten their control. Attempt to isolate their partners more. They become bitter and sarcastic to those who love them. So, if you are waiting for the narcissist in your life to mellow with age, please know that those hopes will most likely never come to fruition. But it is never too late to take care of yourself and refuse to suffer with abuse and manipulation. 

#agingnarcissist #alifefolded #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101

Harrar, Sari. AARP Bulletin, November/December 2025. Living Solo. How Americans are embracing independence and redefining what it means to age alone.