“You must be status and you must be quo, because I hate your f**king guts.” —Your adorable family cat, probably

Joan Ford joins us for the decidedly-adult children’s movie A Pilgrimage of Pets! Faced with certain incarceration in the pound, Avril and Kingy make a run for it to the woods, leaving Mae to fend for himself in the county pound. At the table (sort of), we watch helplessly as a motion picture editor misses precious moments in his young children’s lives because he has to repeatedly blur out a dog’s anus.

Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual-play comedy RPG podcast where the hosts create bad VHS movies. The films are made using only the power of imagination, a few pencils and dice, and a very expensive Hollywood sound designer.

CREDITS:

Avril: Joan Ford

Kingy: Geoffrey Golden

Middle-aged Ecclesiastes (Mae): Brent Butler

Your Director: Patrick Baker

Story Editor: Stephen Indrisano

Sound Design: Adam Baker

Financier: Our Venmo, which is @worstmoviespod

MOVIE TRIVIA: Based on his work in A Pilgrimage of Pets, the film’s Assistant Editor was hired to work on Human Centipede.