Support the podcast on Patreon and be the first to find out what we’re reading next! patreon.com/372pages

How still we see thee DIE! Above thy CREEP (ahem Sharnek) and dreamless sleep the silent Scrumptious Scotch BARS go by. Yet in thy dark streets DIE-eth the everlasting FIGHT (with the suspect); the hopes and fears of all the BEERS (which are presumably served at the shady bar next to where Holly the professional dogwalker lives) are met in thee tonight.

You get the point. This Cozy Christmas Murder ain’t goin’ anywhere we didn’t expect it to. Although! I have many questions about Owl Protective Services that aren’t addressed in the book. (Please email me, michael j nelson, separately and we can enter into a discussion.)

Get the book here

Thanks to everyone who supported the podcast on Patreon this year. Join the fun and get a whole bunch of stuff you can’t hear anywhere else: https://patreon.com/372pages

Ok, let’s tally up the cozy: Christmas beanies. Hot chocolate. Candy canes. Matching sweaters with cute doggo. Sentient owl. Butts. Poop. Murdered senior — all right, look! Maybe it’s not all cozy! Still, this is Full Fork, so I expect they will back up the cozy truck before too long.

As it is, the Real or Fanfic somehow doesn’t work out that well for Mike, however Dumb Sentences of the Week seem to right the ship. You be the judge.

Also, here is Ein the Corgi licking yogurt off the back of a spoon

Get the book here and then for next time, finish said book

Obviously you’re all thinking, “Donald Sobel wrote an Encyclopedia Brown Mystery about the 1993 Georgia Satellites song?! Weird. But very intriguing!” Sadly, no. This was written eight years prior to its release. The solution is utter madness.

We went over some of the thousands and thousands of cozy mysteries out there before deciding on OWL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS as our 2025 cozy. Revisit the contenders!

Assignment: Read thru Chapter 8

Support the podcast on Patreon, where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries with special guest Dan Deacon, and be the first to learn what book is next! https://patreon.com/372pages

This is it, the final episode of Dan Brown’s Deception Point, a book so dumb it raises (lowers?) the level at which a 372 book can be labelled as “dumb.” It’s entire galaxies of dumb-ness. The list of things dumber than it is very small. Dumb and Dumber contains less than a third of the dumbness as this book. There was a lot to talk about here, not the least of which is the “gorge of teeth” that came at one of the Delta sisters (I assume they were a trio of dancing triplets, the book never explicitly says.)

*”Prize-winning astrophysicist Corky Marlinson….Corky Marlinson was as brilliant and respected as they came… Marlinson’s ideas on gravitational fields were legendary among NRO satellite engineers.”

Pigs are stolen. Gooses killed, gutted, de-feathered, roasted over spits and eaten by drifters. And, evidently, dogs are wounded. Idaville’s an odd place.

Can Mike crack the case?!

Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages

Support the podcast on Patreon where you get every episode a week early, plus access to every 280 Mysteries episode! https://patreon.com/372pages

Find out how this book compares to the works of Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf and Rush. And while you’re at it, follow the exploits of Hot Sexton and her father Senator Sexton Sedgewick. Does triple PhD Dr. Marlinson get his tongue caught in an old timey clothes wringer?! You’ll have to listen to find out. Track Mike’s results on Real or Fanfic and get a load of the Dumb Sentences of the Week.

Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, including our brand new episode with Joel McHale, only on the 372 Pages Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages

Watch goose* is a thing, everyone. Seriously. We don’t like it anymore than you do, but it’s a thing. Mike tries to crack the case.

*”Guard goose” would also be an accepted term.

Support the podcast on Patreon where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries episode with special guest JOEL MCHALE! patreon.com/372pages

Courvoisier-sipping senator Sedgewick Sexton; the hideous, grotesque, smoke-spewing, long-limbed inhuman creature Marjorie Tench; and Deltas One, Two and Three are just a few of the characters discussed in this episode. So much happens. So many words are misused. So many editors went un-hired. It’s a wonder we could fit in Real or Fanfic as well as Dumb Sentences of the Week.

READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through Chapter 100. If you dare!

Get the book here

Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive on our patreon! patreon.com/372pages

For once, once, it’s a hitchhiker that’s hungry and not a damn hippo! Anyway, Conor throws Donald J. Sobel’s mystery at Mike and Mike attempts to hit it out of the park. Does he succeed? You’ll have to listen.