A Therapeutic Dose

What an episode!  The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City gave us miscommunication in marriages, a devastating distance between mother and daughter, and a friendship-threatening fart! Time to snatch the maraschino cherry (and all joy) from Bronwyn, order a Steamer to absolve any absentee parenting, and tune into this week’s A Thera-P.U!-tic Dose!

The Real Housewives of Miami season comes to a close with Marysol claiming Adriana knee-shamed her all the way to a plastic surgeon, Lisa expertly orchestrating an apology from Larsa to Jodi, and Stephanie shrieking & barking, confirming her role as cast chihuahua. Meanwhile, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City taste wine, talk soup, confer with a psychic, and bellow about Black Cards, Ben Affleck, Nordstrom, and Kérastase. Time to return your vacuum-sealed bottle of Vida, dump Jared (at least for Lent), and tune into this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

RHOSLC S6E5 TIMESTAMP:  39:46

Reddit: SOUP man or SUIT man?!

Reddit: Angie's house is still for sale...

In the second installment of The Real Housewives of Miami reunion, we learned that Julia’s version of hush money is a coffee maker, we saw Adriana’s undergarments as exposed as her bad behavior, and we related deeply to Kiki’s daddy’s issues! Time to consider a new godmother for your dog, alienate all your friends with a game of Private Jet Shoma & Tell, then tune into this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

In the first installment of the Real Housewives of Miami reunion, Guerdy got too smug, Stephanie was an abomination in green mess, Alexia finally quit Todd, and Julia martyred the MOST! 

Time to have your person-sitter hand you a pre-show tequila and sit you down to tune into this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

This episode of The Real Housewives of Miami had us saying Adria-NAH!, as we learned that Marysol suggested the Wretched Defense and Adriana leaned all the way into that mess. Julia guilted everyone into watching her sing again. And, based on her public speaking skills, Stephanie may very well be early-model A.I.? Even so, we LOVED this season of Miami and will miss this troupe of technicolor megalomaniacs! Time to put on a fringe leotard and character shoes, hit up a Christmas party/gifting suite, and tune into this week’s A Therapeutic Dose! 

On The Real Housewives of Miami, it’s Art Basel week, and Adriana made us appreciate Chris Rivers’ paintings that didn’t interest us at all at first! But she also made us remember how her defensiveness & paranoia can make her the absolute worst person in the room. Larsa has abandoned her children but adopted a WhIsBe gummy bear. And Kiki is unmasked as the Math-Cake Bandit! Time to abscond into the night in an Amazon delivery van and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

On the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Miami, Stephanie & Alexia share their strained sister situations. Lisa & Larsa finally make up. And Guerdy goes to individual therapy! May the rest of the cast follow her lead. Until then (prolly forever), order a Harvey Wallbanger, erase your age equation from a cake, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose! 

On this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Miami, we learn that Julia's hairstylists hate her, Kiki's dad discovers he enjoys salmon and meeting his daughter halfway, and Jody has reasonable relationship requests! The rest was one long infomercial for two billionaires' businesses and a blurred-out-boobies teaser for Larsa's OF. Put on your Sea Bands, take five shots of tequila, and set sail on this week's A Therapeutic Dose!

Lisa is divorced! Larsa is unmoved. Stephanie loves the smell of horse farts! Oh, and she’s also ferally projecting her issues with her sisters onto Marysol & Alexia. And Jesus is a patio umbrella! Time to turn on the stupid party lights in the PJ, find “a shoulder to talk to,” and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

Julia wants some male figures in her boys’ daily lives in Miami, so she’s chosen as their godfathers two guys… in Spain. Lisa finally unfollowed Larsa’s ex. And Kiki & Adriana’s “ratchet” vs “old” insult contest was a stain on American tourists & gave Stephanie a panic attack. Time to poorly doodle a dong, then intentionally put on only clothing with external zippers to “roon” the seats in Stephanie’s PJ, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!