A Year to Understand Yourself

You've probably heard the number before, sixty five percent of ordinary people delivered what they believed were lethal shocks because a scientist told them to. But how much of what you think you know about the Milgram obedience studies is actually true? If you had been in that basement in 1961, what would you have told yourself to justify pressing the switch? The popular version of this study has been repeated so many times it's hardened into fact, but the real picture is far messier and more interesting.

This episode digs into what the original study actually involved, who the people behind it were, and what the design choices mean for how we read the results. It explores the serious ethical and methodological critiques that rarely make it into the textbook summary, what participants themselves said when researchers tracked them down decades later, and what a more recent partial replication revealed about where the real decision point was. The evidence here comes from original sessions, archival research, and participant interviews that paint a genuinely complicated portrait of human behavior under pressure. What you take away isn't a verdict on human nature. It's a more honest set of questions about when deference becomes dangerous and what makes dissent feel possible.

What would you have told yourself to justify pressing the switch? Share your answer and follow along for more episodes like this one.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You reread the email after you sent it. You redo the thing nobody asked you to redo. You finish the project and feel nothing except awareness that the next one is already waiting. Perfectionism gets called a strength, but this episode asks whether it's actually fear wearing a very convincing disguise. If you let something be just good enough today, what would you actually lose?

The episode traces where the perfectionism habit starts, how early praise and conditional approval wire it in before you're old enough to question it, and what psychology actually says about tying your sense of worth to outcomes. It looks at the difference between the drive to do good work and the loop that never lets you feel done, and at the specific moment when a strategy that used to pay off starts costing more than it returns. Research on contingent self worth, socially prescribed perfectionism and creative motivation shapes the conversation without turning it into a lecture.

What do you recognize in this? Follow along for more conversations like it.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You probably have someone in mind right now, a person you genuinely like, maybe even miss, who you just somehow stopped talking to. This episode is about friendship attrition, the slow, silent disappearance of close relationships that happens without any fight or falling out. If you could text that person today, what is the actual worst thing that could happen? The assumption that the silence means something permanent might be the most expensive mistake you're making.

The episode explores where this kind of fading shows up most, the five signs you're already in it, and the structural reasons adult life quietly dismantles friendships without anyone deciding to let them go. It also gets into why the fade ends up feeling like a personal flaw when it almost never is, what the real costs are for your health and your sense of self, and four concrete ways to reverse it. Research on how our social networks shift over years and how little it takes to reconnect shapes the whole conversation. You'll come away with a different way of thinking about who you've been meaning to reach out to and why today is actually the right time.

If this one landed, share your answer to that closing question with someone who has their own list. Follow along so you catch what's next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You've probably looked at something you bought and wondered why you even got it. Impulse spending is one of the most common and least understood money habits, and the real question isn't about your budget. When you bought the last thing you didn't need, what were you actually shopping for? The answer might have nothing to do with the thing itself.

This episode looks at six specific spending mistakes and what each one revealed about the emotional gap between the purchase and the actual need. It explores how identity, anxiety, social comparison, and the sunk cost trap quietly drive the cart, and how retail therapy works just well enough to keep us coming back. Research on loss aversion, aspirational consumption, and positional spending gives the pattern a name. What you take away is a way of reading your own urges before you tap buy.

When you think about your own version of this list, what comes up? Follow along so you don't miss what's next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You probably learned the five stages of grief the same way most people did, from a pamphlet, a TV show, or a well meaning friend who handed you a list and called it healing. The five stage model is one of the most widely believed frameworks in psychology, and the research says it does not hold up. If grief has no universal shape, how do you know when you are grieving right, and when does that question stop making sense? The gap between what the original work actually claimed and what everyone believes it proved turns out to be enormous.

This episode traces how a single observer's notes on dying patients became a cultural script for all human loss, where the model breaks down methodologically and ethically, what decades of actual bereavement research found instead, and why the model refuses to die even after the field moved on. The evidence comes from longitudinal bereavement studies and the public record of what the people closest to this framework said about it later. What you take away is not a better checklist but a different relationship to the idea that grief can be done correctly.

If this question about how we measure loss resonates with you, share your answer and follow along for more.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You've probably heard that grief has five stages, and you may have caught yourself checking which one you're in. The five stage model is one of the most widely repeated ideas in popular psychology, and almost everyone is using it for something it was never designed to do. If it was always descriptive and never prescriptive, and if the research doesn't support a universal sequence, what does an honest map of grief actually look like?

This episode traces where the model came from, who it was originally built for, and why it jumped so far beyond its original purpose. It examines what rigorous bereavement research actually found, including findings about resilience, the role of yearning, and whether acceptance really comes last. The evidence comes from longitudinal studies, theoretical alternatives, and the work of researchers who have pushed back against stage thinking for decades. What you take away isn't a new list. It's a more honest way to hold the losses that don't come with a finish line.

What smaller grief are you still waiting to reach acceptance on? Follow along so you don't miss the next episode.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You've felt it before, that overwhelming pull toward someone new that makes you want to lock it in immediately, to plan, to merge, to make it real. This episode is about relationship escalation, the pattern of compressing emotional timelines before two people actually know each other. If you stripped away the rush, would you still choose this person, or were you choosing the feeling? The tension is that the rush feels exactly like certainty, which makes it almost impossible to question in the moment.

The episode explores where escalation shows up and why certain life circumstances make it almost inevitable, what the signs look like from the inside, where the pattern comes from in early experience and culture, and what it quietly costs over time. Four concrete strategies get examined alongside the research on attachment, trust, and how attraction actually builds. The science behind why intensity and depth get confused so easily shapes the whole conversation.

If this question landed somewhere real for you, share it with someone in that early electric stage who might need to hear it, and follow along for more conversations like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You've probably had that low hum in the background, the feeling that a different choice would have led somewhere better. Regret is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it's rarely talked about as a source of useful information. The central question here is: if regret is a signal and not a verdict, what is it actually trying to tell you? Most people treat it like evidence of failure, which may be the thing making it harder to move.

This episode explores where regret shows up across relationships, work, and identity, why it concentrates in specific areas of life, what makes it feel like a personality trait rather than a passing response, and what it actually costs when it goes unread. The conversation draws on research into counterfactual thinking, self compassion, and how we build alternate timelines in our minds, without revealing what the findings say. What you walk away with is a way of reading regret that makes it less of a weight and more of a direction.

If this landed somewhere real for you, share it with someone who might need it, and follow along for more.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You've probably said yes when you meant no, or cancelled and spent the night feeling worse than the party would have made you feel. The tension between going out and staying in isn't just about introversion or energy levels. It's about what's actually driving the decision, and whether it's really you making it. What would you tell your younger self about how you handled your social life, and which lesson are you still ignoring?

This episode works through six hard earned ideas about social energy, from the way anxiety distorts your forecast before an event, to the difference between restorative solitude and avoidance dressed up as self care. It looks at why you feel invisible even when you show up, how much other people actually notice your comings and goings, and what happens when a habit quietly takes over your calendar without your permission. Research on social behavior, attention restoration and affective forecasting shapes the conversation throughout. What you take away isn't a formula. It's a sharper sense of when the decision is really yours.

What would you tell your younger self about going out, and which of these lessons are you still working on? Follow along so you don't miss what comes next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You've probably led with four letters at some point, in a job interview, on a dating profile, or just explaining yourself to a new friend. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is everywhere, but the science behind it tells a different story than the laminated card suggests. If a test cannot reliably tell you who you are, what does the fact that millions still love it reveal about what we actually need? The gap between how the test is used and what it was ever designed to do is wider than most people realize.

This episode traces the origins of the Myers Briggs from a mother and daughter working outside academia, through the decades of psychometric research that raised serious questions about reliability and structure, and into the cultural explosion that kept it growing anyway. It looks at what happens when a binary framework meets a continuous human reality, why the method problems carry real consequences in hiring and therapy, and how a more empirically grounded model developed alongside it without ever catching on the same way. The evidence is handled carefully, without easy answers.

What were you actually looking for when you took the test? Share your answer with someone who'd want to argue about it, and follow along for more.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.