We're back! And we're kicking off 2022 with a whole bunch of listener-submitted content, including our very first guest edition of Texas Tinder Alert!

No science allowed this week! Andrew does some fancy math, and Brian brings us a Cosmo sex tip sponsored by Olive Garden. Most importantly, Cynthia delivers a special-edition Celebrity Texas Tinder Alert where we learn the importance of LITTLE details...

Tell Brian how you really pronounce acai! We're at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

As our holiday gift to you, we're proud to offer another installment of our dating advice podcast that...doesn't really give any actual advice. On the bright side, at least Brian finally gives up on the red wine thing, and gives us advice from his newest book, BDSM For (Extreme) Dummies. 

Cynthia goes scorched earth in a Texas Tirade, and brings us another non-Texas Texas Tinder Alert installment. Unrelated, she also matched with an entire state's population just for this episode. 

Brian is still waiting for those peanut butter statue requests! We're at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

AKA the Oregon Trail episode. Brian gives some solid Civ 5 advice and tells everyone how to take the best possible mirror selfie. The Cosmo aliens are finally exposed once and for all, and Cynthia brings us the epic odyssey of a listener-submitted bad dating story. In case that doesn't sell you on it, you can also learn how to cook human meat! 

Send Brian some peanut butter statue requests! We're at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

...and other important life questions! This one has Tinder profiles brought to you by Olive Garden menus, and a literal skin flute. We re-visit the frozen foods aisle, and Brian introduces us to his holy trinity of dating apps . By the way, this is a donuts podcast now! 

Send us things! We're at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

Brian's phone number is officially in the public domain! Here's an episode where we give out exactly ZERO real dating advice, but on the plus side, Texas Tinder goes intergalactic. Fry Guy won't stop e-mailing Andrew, and Cynthia teaches Brian what noise a llama makes. 

Send Brian some Tinder profiles to roast! We're at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

Brian packs an extra-fancy drink, and gets another visit from his alien buddies at Cosmo. Andrew explains why you should never use email in your relationship, and Cynthia leaves low earth orbit to bring us the strangest Texas Tinder Alert yet. #dontsettleforthatbullshit. 

Most importantly, we read our first listener-provided content! 

Want us to read your story or answer your question on the show? You can reach us at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

Brian offers WAY too much actual dating advice, and Andrew gets stuck in a bear trap in this one. Also the episode where Brian beat-boxes and tells us about his favorite element on the periodic table. 

Send us stuff! We're at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

The one where Brian does the Sonic impression, and when we finally learn why Cynthia has become disinterested in men. Brian proves his height once and for all, and Andrew explains how Batman gets out of bad dates. 


Brian needs a drink! Reach us at [email protected]

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

Why do girls think there's no other world in galaxy? Cynthia tells some dragon stories, and Andrew lays out why you should NEVER approach someone romantically at Costco. 

Send us stuff! We're at [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo

Questionable dating advice on high-waisted jeans, pencil erasers, and proper chicken handling technique. Brian goes off the grid, and Cynthia takes to the trenches. 

Send in your questions! [email protected] 

Music: 900 Turbo, by Blue Wave Theory
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Blue_Wave_Theory/Superstorm/900-turbo