Active Pause

Once hailed as the best extreme skier in the world, Kristen Ulmer has come to value fear. She has learned that fear is not here to cause us problems. In fact, the only true issue we face with fear is our misguided reaction to it (not the fear itself). So we need to rebuild our understanding of fear from the ground up.

Kristen Ulmer is a thought leader and master facilitator who offers a game-changing approach to fear that has never been seen before. Armed with incredible personal experience, Ulmer was labeled “fearless” by the media during her era as the best woman extreme skier in the world for 12 years. She’s also spent 14 years studying Zen and working with thousands of clients, until today she acknowledges that label is not only impossible but undesirable. Ulmer thus seeks to end our humanity-wide war against fear as a way to not only resolve many common, epidemic problems we face, but to allow us greater access to our whole-mind potential. Her book: The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead, was just released on June 13, 2017. See her website.

Published June 2017

Originally, I had contacted Kathy McGuire to have a conversation with her on the topic of empathy. As we talked about what this might entail, we decided to practice what we preach: We did not rush into doing the interview, and we took time to process what we wanted to accomplish through this project. As a result, the project evolved into a series of short videos illustrating various kinds of listening and empathy.

We structured this demo into a sequence of videos. Through them, we would like you to notice that:

– 1) Even simple listening, “passive listening” without interruptions, allow speakers to naturally begin entering into direct reference to felt experience and explication from there.

– 2) Active empathic listening takes this natural felt sensing a step further, as the speaker checks the listeners words against their felt reference and articulates anew.

– 3) When the speaker knows Focusing, then empathic listening helps the Focuser stay with, check, resonate and articulate their felt sense in the deepest way.

In watching the videos, please pay attention to the central role of the pause:  Notice how taking a pause opens up direct access to felt experience.  In this context, felt sensing is the natural outcome of the pause. As is empathy.

Video 1: Passive listening

Video 2: Active listening

Video 3: Listening with empathy, in a Focusing way

Video 4: Focusing (cont’d)

By doing this as a demo, we hope to convey the freshness of the experience, as opposed to just talking about it. We also hope that this will show people who do not yet know Focusing how natural and normal this process is… i.e. something that people can relate to, and learn to be better at (as opposed to an esoteric skill).

Is the above “just” about listening? Hopefully, these videos convey a sense of how deeper creativity and change can come through these three different simple forms of listening: passive listening; active listening; focusing listening.

These skills can be also brought directly into interpersonal conflicts: Somebody who has seen our passive and active listening videos might jump in as a “third person listening facilitator.” Similarly, these skills can be used in group decision-making situations, as the Quakers do with “passive listening.”

Dr. Kathy McGuire trained directly with Dr. Eugene Gendlin, creator of Experiential Focusing. She did her dissertation with him on “Listening and Interruptions in Task-Oriented Groups.” Together, they and others created the first Changes Listening/Focusing self-help community. While practicing as a Focusing-Oriented Therapist, Dr. McGuire has also followed her life-long mission of bringing Listening and Focusing self-help skills into every area of living, as represented on her website for Creative Edge Focusing.

She has a special fascination and expertise in bringing the “revolutionary pause” for felt experiencing into personal and group decision-making situations.

Dr. McGuire is the author of many articles and the manuals, Focusing in Community: How To Start A Listening/Focusing Support Group (also in Spanish) and The Experiential Dim...

In this conversation, we explore ethics and embodiment.

This conversation is available as a video, as well as audio only, and as a printable PDF transcript.

Dirk Marivoet is the director of the Institute for Bodymind Integration in Ghent (Belgium). He studied Core-Energetics under John C. Pierrakos, MD; Postural Integration®, Energetic Integration and Pelvic-Heart Integration under Jack Painter, PhD (and has been a certified trainer/supervisor since 1999). He has also worked extensively with native shamanism both in Europe and North America. Earlier in the 80s and 90s he was adjunct faculty Psychomotor Therapy at Leuven University, where he still teaches.

Published May 2017. See also conversation with Dirk Marivoet about Bodymind Integration and about what sustains him.

In this conversation, we explore the concept of “Beginner’s Mind” in a down-to-earth way. This conversation is available as a video, as well as audio only, and as a printable PDF transcript.

Russell Delman’s dedication to the study of awareness and human potential began in 1969 as a college undergraduate. The main influences on his teaching are over 40 years of Zen meditation, his close relationship and training with Moshe Feldenkrais (he has helped to train over 2500 Feldenkrais teachers worldwide), a deep study of somatic psychology including Focusing, and his rich family life. Over the last seven years, his friendship with Gene Gendlin has illuminated his understanding of life and had a strong influence on his teaching. See his website.

See other conversation with Russell Delman 

Published May 2017

This recording is about the “Practice of Embodied Presence”, guidelines for connecting directly with the personal and sacred wisdom of your body. If you are caught up in the thoughts and feelings of the fight, flight, freeze body, you are already recycling the past. If you learn how to tune into your presencing body, you gain access to a vast reservoir of wisdom and a fresh experience of life.

At a young age I felt connected to a calm, loving presence within me. Yet, as I grew older and had to interact more with others, I became increasingly anxious. Personal suffering propelled me to explore psycho-spiritual practices that would ground me in a sense of embodied Presence, no matter what I was doing. This has been life-changing for me. My body is now one of my most important allies. Born into an intellectual family, I was conditioned to go to my head to find solutions to my life “problems”. With study and dedicated practice, I have discovered deep wisdom embedded in my whole body, not just my brain. In 1992, I got an M.A. in body-centered psychotherapy and have also become a certified Focusing trainer and labyrinth facilitator. Today I offer a program called “The Practice of Embodied Presence”, an embodied way to access both personal and spiritual intelligence. See website.

Published April 2017

In this conversation, we explore both the underlying reasons for needing to gather in community; and how that harkens back to our family of origin and the many issues that challenge our capacity to sustain connection. We specifically refer to Focusing-oriented communities, but the conversation is meant to be of interest to all people interested in intentional communities, whether or not they know anything about Focusing.

This conversation is available as a video, as well as audio only, and as a printable PDF transcript.

Jan Winhall, M.S.W. R.S.W. is a psychotherapist in Private Practice and Director of Focusing On Borden, a centre for teaching Focusing and Focusing Oriented Therapy. Jan is the author of “Understanding and Treating Addiction with the Felt Sense Experience Model” In Emerging Practice in FOT”. Jan teaches internationally and is a lecturer in the Faculty of Social Work at the University of Toronto. See website.

Published March 2017

This conversation with Manju (Peter Gill) is about his experience of what happens when he takes time to pause and notice how it feels to be in the world.

Manju (Peter Gill) is one of the UK’s foremost Focusing trainers – teaching since 2004, and leading retreats, workshops and classes for more than twenty years. He is qualified with the British Focusing Association and the Focusing Institute in New York to teach Focusing to individuals, groups. He also offers teacher training. He is also qualified in Somatic Experiencing (SE), a related practice involving a short-term, body-based approach to healing and easing the effects of trauma. Currently he is exploring how Focusing can be used as a way of meeting the challenges of the these turbulent and pivotal times in the world. See website.

See also Manju’s video on this topic.

Published February 2017 

This conversation with Manju (Peter Gill) is about his experience of what happens when he takes time to pause and notice how it feels to be in the world. This conversation is available as a video, as well as audio only.

Audio only:

Manju (Peter Gill) is one of the UK’s foremost Focusing trainers – teaching since 2004, and leading retreats, workshops and classes for more than twenty years. He is qualified with the British Focusing Association and the Focusing Institute in New York to teach Focusing to individuals, groups. He also offers teacher training. He is also qualified in Somatic Experiencing (SE), a related practice involving a short-term, body-based approach to healing and easing the effects of trauma. Currently he is exploring how Focusing can be used as a way of meeting the challenges of the these turbulent and pivotal times in the world. See website.

See also Manju’s video on this topic.

Published February 2017 

Improvisation means that there is something, which we can’t see because we are so occupied with our plans. To improvise means be aware of the moment and its resources. The resources are mainly nonverbal. The room, our body, the sound of the voices, the rhythm of our dialog and our environment and our imagination are the sources to listen to. They are always there and they feed our play on stage or in real life. So improvisation means to listen to life and then let it unfold. This principle is so similar to Focusing!

Improvised theatre is a wonderful practice for life. On stage and in life we want to carry forward our stories. We listen and add what seams useful and matching. Improvisation and its principles might be seen as a different way to get in touch with the powerful and also magical process of Focusing.

In Focusing and in improvisation, we know these magic moments when we get surprised by something unexpected, that is beyond our intellectual imagination. This is something that is out of our control. We receive it as a gift. So improvisation is the invitation to develop the courage to let life make us more present, and to control it less, because there is a natural structure which we can trust.

Here, improvisation touches spirituality. The unexpected character of improvisation is also a natural expression of our creativity. Creativity just happens. Suddenly something new is there. It’s new and that means it is unfamiliar and we have to get in touch with it. That’s also the nature of an improvised life, which means that our life is full of creative moments.

See also: illustrated quote about improvisation & life.

Tobias von Schulthess is a Playback Theatre practitioner and trainer, a mediator and a Focusing trainer, and founder and director of the Playback Theatre in St. Gallen, Switzerland. He uses and explores the art of improvisation as a creative, challenging and playful practice to deal with our complex and unpredictable lives. He discovered that the practice and principles of improvisation together with the unfolding Focusing process are very effective and sustainable when solving conflicts, leading and coaching teams, or supporting learning processes. The working life of Tobias began in a travel agency as a consultant and travel guide. Then he changed into the field of human resources in the industrial and banking business, before he started his own business as a trainer, mediator and coach. See website.

Published February 2017

Linda Ciotola talks about how she practices and teaches mindful eating. This conversation is available as a podcast and as a printable PDF transcript.

Linda Ciotola is a Certified TEP: trainer-educator-practitioner of psychodrama, group psychotherapy, and sociometry; and an accredited Certified Trainer in the Therapeutic Spiral Model ™ of psychodrama used specifically for working with trauma survivors. She is Co-Leader and Developer of the Therapeutic Spiral Bodyworkshop specifically designed for healing body-based trauma issues and a Certified Health Education Specialist (Ret.) with 45 years experience in education, group facilitation, and lifestyle counseling. Linda holds ACE (American Council on Exercise) certifications as a Personal Trainer, Fitness and Yoga Instructor, Health Coach and MINDBODY Specialist. She was honored in 2008 with the Zerka Moreno Award for outstanding contributions to the field of Psychodrama. She is co-author with Karen Carnabucci of Healing Eating Disorders with Psychodrama and Other Action Methods – Beyond the Silence and the Fury. She presents widely at regional, national and international conferences. See her website.

Published January 2017 – See other conversation with Linda Ciotola