You can’t kill a guy when he’s already dead, but that’s not going to stop us trying!

Quotable: “For a question about posthumous execution, this took a dark turn.”

This week!

— A scandalous round of Good Advice

— Viking while intoxicated

— Wedding bands of Bitcoin

— A Zerg rush on Jeopardy!

— Preliminary results from the world’s longest-running experiment

— Emus cause problems on two continents

— A very long (and Scilly) war you’ve never heard of

Oh yeah, and we got a mention on the Onion AV Club. They called us “pedantic.”

The original fanboys, or how secret societies turned into insurance companies (really!). Also, “secret society promoter” was a job back then. For a Not Actually Happening, this one has a lot of weird actual facts.

Actually Happening: a series of 1s and 0s that add up to a lot of nonsense about history.

This week:

Historic events unlikely to recur

Jimmy Carter attacked by swimming rabbit

Elian Gonzales falls through a sinkhole into the Land of the Lost

President John Adams spends $5,000

Nobody knows!!!!

Superman makes the KKK a laughingstock

A poem about camels

Jurassic Park isn’t real

The Loch Ness Monster is not real. Sorry. But big game hunter Marmaduke Wetherell IS.

So yeah, this episode is late. Really late. Uh… that was quite a week last week. We should be back on schedule now.

Anyway, enjoy the usual quality discussion of the rise of the sentient internet, the first speaker of the house, the arrest of Machiavelli, cigarette advertising, WRESTLEMANIA and the amazing superpowers* of Jesus Christ!*Apochryphal.

Image credit: grahamc99 on Flickr

Because in this celebration of springtime stir-craziness, the biggest April Fools joke is April Fools Day itself.

Also: how many terrible salad dressing puns can we come up with? How many different religious hats can we stack on top of each other? And what happens when Kevin gets to the end of his knowledge?

This week we talk about fake fossils, fairweather friends, and far-too-credulous academics.

This week we celebrate the Ides of March with the suggestion to replace the national anthem with “Sweet Caroline.” Also: what to do if you’re an interim senator, what really happens in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, why the Catholic Church left Copernicus alone, and we try to make sense of the extremely unhelpful Roman calendar and two very high courts. Also Yo Yo Ma in a bathroom with a wombat. Which totally happened.

This week it’s all about fake epics, fake things about epics, and solid snake. For some reason.