Ad Read

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

What’s In The Box

A jingle for the mystery box company What’s In The Box? Hmmmm… This one doesn’t seem great.

Piss Pour

The innovative new way to keep track of your loved ones.

Citizens For The Sun God

Show the sun gun that you love the sun! That sounds like some fun!

Extra Strength Halloween Candy

For all of your Halloween candy needs, use this candy, okay?

Coldma from Medical Mart

The best way to get over a cold.

Decorative Wooden Spoons Outlet

The cheapest prices on decorative wooden spoons.

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson, Sam Carlin and  Aaron Cooper. Additional acting by Jon, Aaron, Cheru, Ed Carroll, she who shall not be named and Sam.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

Mcklenburger Glue

The best in all natural glue. Best ingredients. Best machines. Best glue. Generations of tradition and innovation make this glue the top name in glue.

W.E. Corporation

Buy shares of Willy’s Excellence, a fortune 500 cookie company. Waste your money on something cool. Please. It’s much needed.

Salutations Simulations

Get the perfect life, guaranteed. Forget reality. Choose happiness instead.

Medical Mart

Check out all these services from Medical Mart! But mostly plastic surgery! It’s great!

Stand Up Sam

Barberton’s most controversial stand up comedian has a new comedy special on Barberton Channel One.

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Jon, Aaron Cooper, Cheru, Ed Carroll, and Carter Rodriguez of Chase Down Podcast.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

Today’s episode is a Christmas special that defies form and function.

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Cheru and Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Cheru and Jon. Soundtrack by Aaron Cooper.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

Arranged Carriage

The ride share app for people who don’t know what’s best for them.

Wu-Washers

For anyone who wants their undergarments to be especially clean.

Office Personas

Nobody likes you, but maybe you can get a new persona and become noticed at work?

Matador Napkins

The most hardcore of napkins.

Drugs

Let’s do drugs!

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Jon, Cheru, Ed Carroll, Carter Rodriguez of Chase Down Podcast.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

Hot Dog Water

Join the new health craze sweeping the nation with Hot Dog Water! So many different ways to use it, and all of them rule.

Arson Assist Federation

A new product update from the Arson Assist Federation. Subscribers and would-be subscribers, listen up! These changes could affect you or else.

Jimmy’s Cursive School For Wayward Teens

If you have troubled teens, bring them to Jimmy’s Cursive School. Jimmy wants to teach your teens cursive.

Acura

Whether you’re a busy parent or a stylish trust fund adult, Acura is the unassuming but stylish car for you.

Hide and Seekers

Oh, what are we hiding here?

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Cheru and Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Jon, Cheru, and he who shall not be named nor linked.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

Barberton City Council Presents: A DJ Pontiac Beavers Production: DJ Pontiac Beavers’ End of World Sex Party

A sex party hosted by DJ Pontiac Beavers! Including some of Barberton’s most famous stars!

Moon Prince Industries

Find out how exactly Moon Prince Industries was able to kill The Earth Wizard and put the moon in a position to end all life on Earth.

You’ve Heard It All Before

The sitcom that reenacts all the best movies.

Find My Penis

Did your penis get lost in the fourth dimension? This is a good way to find it.

 

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Jon, Aaron Cooper and Tatiana Maria.)

 

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

Offices of The Earth Wizard and Apprentice

The Earth Wizard is missing, but don’t panic. Beulah, the Apprentice to The Earth Wizard, is still holding the moon at bay. We’ll be fine. Probably. It’ll probably be fine. Don’t sweat it.

Flavor Buckets

Forget your old buckets that don’t have any flavor. New from Flavor Blasters is the Flavor Blasters Flavor Bucket. Throw your old buckets down the stairs because these buckets are blasted full of flavor blasts of blasted flavor.

Pixie Stix

Pour that sugar down your face hole.

Assisted Sewerside Retirement Community

A great place for your old people to end their lives.

Moon Prince

Uh-oh.

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Jon, Tatiana Maria, Sydney Durst, she who shall not be named and he who shall not be named nor linked.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

Real World Escapes

A lot of people have been getting pretty sick of living in a simulation. So stop living in a simulation, already. Get out. Keep making your way up through all the levels of simulation and find the real world.

Pool Crashers

Get some money from that pool you never use. It’s right there, so why waste it? Get that money. Let people rent your pool.

Moon Importance Foundation

Is the moon important or not?

Cat Food

If you got pussy cats around your house that want a meal, check out this cat food. It’s for cats.

Pet My Wiener

Big fans of wiener dogs will probably get down with this website.

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Jon.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

The Arson Assist Federation

The company known as Sun Basket is rebranding as The Arson Assist Federation. Find out what that means for you, the consumer. Probably something good, right?

Jimmy’s Lobotomobile

Our good friend Jimmy has a new business that just might get you right in the head.

Bentmore Buckets and Donny Heart Throb and DJ Pontiac Beavers

Bentmore Buckets have teamed with Donny Heart Throb and DJ Pontiac Beavers to remix Donny’s hit song — Alopecia Lady. It’s a song about a lady who has no hair. Not only that, but Bearded Gentlemen Music has an exclusive music video premiere for this song.

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish

We love the fishes because they’re so delicious. Let’s go fishing, everyone. It’s time to get some fish.

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson and Aaron Cooper. Additional acting by Jon, Cheru, and Aaron.)

Welcome to the Ad Read podcast. We’re not like those other podcasts that fluff the running time with needless content. We get straight to the ad reads, bringing you, the consumer the product information you crave. No need to skip ahead, no filler, just poorly read ad copy from all the brands you love.

Disclaimer: Any references to products/companies real or fake reflect our opinion alone and not the opinion of the companies in question. This is especially true of the fake companies, who can be real assholes about this sort of thing.

Subscribe to Ad Read in these places:

Apple | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | SoundCloud | Google | Android

Subscribe to the entire Bearded Gentlemen Feed:

Apple | Android

In today’s episode, we read the following ads:

Life Wipe

You were terrible when you were alive, and everyone hated you. They’re all laughing at you during your funeral. For good reason, too. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame.

Ghost Sheets

The only way the living can see is a ghost is with a spectral visual aid. That’s where Ghost Sheets can help. They’re the best sheets for any ghost who wants to haunt the living.

Asylum for Individuals with Deceased Denial Disorder

Some people can’t cope with being dead. Throw them in the Asylum. That’s a job well done.

Heaven World

Experience ecstasy beyond compare.

Smith, Smith, Smith and Smith

A message from the law offices of Smith, Smith, Smith and Smith.

Something else…

Maybe you like one of the products advertised on this podcast. That’s really cool! Upload here or email the podcast at adreadpodcast at gmail.com with your testimonials.

You can send these as either a written testimonial or an audio testimonial. Either way, we may include it on the show! That’s cool as fuck, and I’m the creator of this podcast so I would know.

Another Thing?

If you have a business you want to advertise on the podcast, you can also email us at adreadpodcast at gmail.com! We’d love to read your ad!

(Additional writing for this podcast by Jon Robertson. Additional acting by Jon and she who shall not be named.)