Adi’s Voice Archives

HOLDING SPACE :⁣⁣

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My favorite way of doing this is to be more comfortable by myself, and for example, Laughing; really owning my laughter as an extension of myself. ⁣⁣

More people than ever seemed triggered by me, isn’t that funny? but more than ever resonate and are touched by what I’m saying.⁣⁣

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A customer of my grandfather called me weird, and I acknowledge it is from looking up;⁣

For him, normal people look down when they speak. And for him, restlessness should show in physical gestures;⁣

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He feels uncomfortable, that’s all it is. And If he cannot find it in his self to stead my company, it is his loss. Not mine. I am comfortable. With me, you can become comfortable ... But sure enough he did ease in, and that day showed me his new pair of shiny glasses. They were nice, and made him look handsome.⁣

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I hear people say they’re just not ready to be vulnerable, but frankly after discovering my anchor in life, I had no choice but to be myself ... it’s all there was. A daily desire for rituals is the way I — Break The Fuck Out. ⁣⁣

I hear it’s difficult for all of us. But I’m just as much the valleys, as I am the ocean. And in time we gain a greater capacity for the world; A Greater Capacity To Heal;⁣⁣

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The two things I see important for that. (1) One is — acceptance, and a meditation is to do that every day; I Laugh at my discomfort, Owning that shit! It’s mine. ⁣⁣

(2)The second part rarely mentioned is that our Being requires to be fortified for the personal onslaught that is sure to take you on.⁣⁣

Part of nature is illogical, and the only way to prepare for that is to find center. ⁣⁣

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But that’s okay, because we are capable and fully equip; The fortifying of your mind and heart will wait for you until death, but lets persist in our paths lively and sure-footed enough to challenge each other. I love you. ⁣

WHEELS: AND HONESTY: CANTHURTME: 🌊🧿⁣

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Life doesn’t care who One thinks they are; Life is conspiring, and conspiring with the gods on your behalf, and yet there are forces eager to take you the fuck out.⁣

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One way to deal with this reality is to create a plan. If the plan breaks, make a new one. Keep your mind oriented so that your attention keeps becoming sharper.⁣

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Visualize the image of your next step and stare at it - as long as necessary. Break down your time into increments and count the clock backwards until your monkey mind fades off. ⁣

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I like to talk about sunlight: We as planetary beings are in a circadian cycle with the sun, and therefore we worship it as God in this life. Get some sunlight if you want to sleep tonight, because the hours we spend under the light - horde melatonin for tonights vivid slumber!⁣

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I can never forget what it was like to feel hopeless — I vividly remember how much my energies and core-self wanted a way out of the old cycle; 🧿⁣

Lots of things in my life are difficult and undermine how I want them to go, ⁣

But I call it real. My thoughts show me what is possible, and I can expand that or break it depending on my actions,⁣

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The message to take away from this post; Sometimes we think a thought OR have a feeling — and it cripples us from even trying! 🌊⁣

For me, It was a crappy cycle of believing what no longer served me; The voices of my friends OR teachers OR parents repeated themselves in my head like they were my fucking mantra. ⁣

It took time to break that wheel, and remake my wheel. But what else do you want to do? What is more important in your life than your own mind and heart? When you realize no one can hurt you, it becomes about what you want for You. #canthurtme #athlete #artist #writer⁣

We start the podcast slow between brief pauses, and we revisit a practice that comes from our history together as friends. You can expect the intellect to have a chair here, and the tea in the kettle — is silence. (ep. 5)

So many interesting threads I’d like to listen to over. #documentingreality

After two days of binge eating and depression, I’m back on schedule. ⁣

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Lots of things go right when I’m able to show up and execute; Discipline is a mandatory skill. ⁣

I share this with you because it is also important to be accountable, and I want you to be able to trust all of my posts as regular and authentic parts of my life.⁣

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My intentions are to reveal my rallies of thought and spread a coherent message from authentic experience. It is important to believe that things can change, to say that there is a way, and to believe that there is one. ⁣

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Because you cannot manifest a future vision from a place of lack... ⁣🌸

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Both my sense of body, and sense of reality are grounded in a #psyche that feels emotions. So that means I need to ask — Am I playing on the bench, instead of on the field? Because it’s easy to get lost in narrative. ⁣

Are these thoughts (by their nature) illusions to illustrate the worthless and powerless perspective? Because it’s easy to play the victim. ⁣

Further, will I agree to continue this way, As another wounded creature without higher motives? Because it’s easy to get ugly and comfortable in this wonderful age. ⁣

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It’s easy, It’s easy to fetter this form, and all forms, and to relinquish the restless craving to converse the chaos and breed results - both for my behavior and for the bright completion of being.⁣

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"Why push?" It says, "You will go forth to death anyway."⁣ 🌺

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And I say, "Yes, that's right. But don't let me die unworthy, depressed and insecure in my life." I prefer to die as a simple man; authentic in his choice of words, satisfied with his bare situation, and penitent (perhaps) of only his own efforts....Not of nature. ⁣🤔

Women seem to be more naturally aligned to muses of nature; Wired more readily to a matrix, that men might more readily resist. To buy his way into this initiation... Which embody’s an apple that he must acquire in his search for meaning. This purely prudent man finally finds his Soul singularly salvaged by perseverance and abandon. This man must be able to develop an intuition for the threads that underlie all of his facts, and further, he must muster up the will to win over his comrades by creating a future worth fulfilling. That’s a high-masculine tale, ringing equally as true as a Feminine One I’ve heard; 🌿⁣⁣

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I heard there was a woman who wanders through the woods and walces naked between the trees. The guards ask me: Who is the wild woman pregnant by these ghosts? Full of gods she learns move through her. They coax her to sing and she sings the natural sounds that lead to harmony. ⁣Howling the homage of her sisters from the swamps;⁣

I see muses move through their mouths, Mauve I heard the swamp speaking highly of change.⁣

Waves came that day; welcomed anguish just allied by her voice... Which I saw she got to understand intimately, and by virtue of her unique blessings - kept transcending things. ⁣

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Possessing an aura — cleaned and passed over us all in a web of light; existing as a sensuality that secures the soul. In her life — Not giving up her subtle sense of solitude and spiritual sovereignty for family nor friends. She being naked and vulnerable and raw and scary and unbelievably in love. 🌸⁣⁣

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I saw and believed that was in me too. And so it is from then on, as I partook in that burden.⁣

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ADAM, ASCETIC, ARTIST 🍎⁣

APRIL 29 MMXX : 2020 🌺⁣

I am — showing you my name and let me say again, welcome. I invite you to take you in laughter. 😄 Just to keep you company. What are you feeling? That’s okay. Welcome. We chat for a while with the synchronicity of three. Zen masters, stoic guys, and Swamiji.

* You may suppose that time is only passing away, and do not understand that time never arrives. ⁣

— Dogen Zenji (1200-1253)⁣

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* The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.⁣

— Marcus Aurelius ⁣

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* We want today that bright sun of intellectuality - joined with the heart of Buddha, the wonderful infinite heart of love and mercy, This union will give us the highest philosophy.⁣

— Swami Vivekananda ⁣

MUSE : BIRTH 🤱🏻⁣

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He was - born two months earlier than they expected, diagnosed as too dangerous by the doctors, they say the mother should expect the worst. ⁣

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She lies down to treat the infection, and they collectively aim to treat the issue of, time...⁣

Because this infant was in a hurry. He didn’t listen to his mother or the doctors. Maybe he did. Maybe one still decides their own fucking time. Maybe the stress became too much on the body and Adam was forced out. Maybe he remembers that. ⁣

He could barely fit in our hands, the time of the clocks were heavy, But ⁣

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he still remembers the tribe who gathered at the church, and prayed with intention and light to reach his soul. The devil was there, ya know. Fat and short and smiling. ⁣

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I awoke before he reached me. And become Grounded by the darkness, wombed by the earth, and tethered to the truth. I’ve been on earth for about 24 years now. ⁣

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..☁️☁️☁️.🌞.☁️☁️☁️..⁣

#birth #death #experience #poetry #philosophy #psychology #strength #bodybuilder #adamantine

As I am listening to birds chip by the window, reflecting on my role in the world, a poem by William Ernest Henley trembles forth to my mind:⁣

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‘Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.⁣

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In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud.⁣

Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.⁣

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Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid.⁣

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It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll,⁣

I am the master of my fate,⁣

I am the captain of my soul.’⁣

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I love that poem. I love that poem. It summons the human spirit to recall the values at my core. Invictus, meaning “unconquerable” or “undefeated” in Latin, was a poem written while Henley was in the Hospital, being treated for tuberculosis of the bone.⁣

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In a way. People long for exhaustion. I long for exhaustion; I long for an atmosphere that can arise at the end of the day. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

I crave the ambiance of silence set by 6PM in my center. Body tells me when rest is earned. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

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My nomadic nature, likes the journey and discards all things. I choose a goal that cannot be achieved in this life and it flocks color - to this second. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

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My aim is the orienting process. that’s why the way is my dream; an openness to disorder, a claim to touch the top. And where is the top? above is in the middle. the top is right here. Only realized in practice. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

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While constantly practicing. Becoming practicing. Instilling the body with the traumas that fortify - in the trials with our natural world. with unknown that is everything.⁣⁣⁣⁣ 🌑

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In the middle of the night, Do you hear⁣⁣⁣

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⁣ “Aim for whole through sharp discernment. find the circle that rides the razor” ⁣⁣⁣

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This Body - a beloved vehicle.⁣⁣

I tribunate challenges;⁣⁣

Adam finds order as himself, and I myself to satisfaction. The way - ⁣⁣⁣⁣

is through a way of discernment. you see. through belief. and faith in your self. through belief. and faith in your self.⁣⁣⁣⁣

The dragon - is his mother, and it comes bearing three gifts. ⁣

The first - asks to secure his armor, and bear his dreary fists. ⁣

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His allegiance goes to nature, for that which allows her in;

His passion for the selective muse, that draws the line within. ⁣

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The dragon is his chaos, the second gift to tame the blackness. ⁣

Across the ridge it rises, and starts to make him conscious. 🌺⁣

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The monster - is inside you, you have to tame the dragon. Not just the wings and fangs, but your own beast - must rise from darkness. ⁣

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The flowers that I fettered, a damsel in distress. Here procuring the ancient flowers, I open from my chest.⁣

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Across the ridge it rises, my heart bleeds the ocean calmness. ⁣

I am the only witness, and this body my only promise. ⁣