After the Session: Two Therapists Telling It Like It Is

In this episode of After the Session, John and I sit down and reflect on a few things we’ve learned from the therapy chair. After years of listening to people work through relationships, loss, change, anxiety, and all the messiness of being human, we’ve picked up a few lessons along the way. Some of them are simple. Some are hard. And honestly, some of them we’re still learning ourselves.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, Matt Walsh makes some legitimate criticisms of therapy. There are therapists who overpathologize normal struggles, turn every problem into trauma, and can inadvertently reinforce a person’s identity as a victim. But here’s the problem with broad generalizations: neither John nor I have met every therapist. We believe good therapy should do more than help people understand what happened to them. It should help them decide what they are going to do with it. We talk about the difference between validating someone’s story and keeping them stuck in it, the importance of agency and personal responsibility, and why therapy should ultimately help people move forward and become healthier, better human beings for themselves and the people around them.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we explore our relationship with stuff—from meaningful collections and everyday clutter to the more complex reality of hoarding. Why do we hold on? What do our possessions represent? And when does keeping become something that keeps us?

In this episode of After the Session, Unfinished Notes, we consider how constant distraction may weaken our ability to regulate emotions, tolerate conflict, read social cues, and remain present with the people right in front of us. What are we losing when our phones become an escape from discomfort, conversation, and connection?

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we’re going to have a little rant—about traffic and what happens to perfectly reasonable people behind the wheel. Why do we become impatient, distracted, entitled, and downright aggressive? Maybe the problem isn’t sociopathy. Maybe we’ve simply forgotten there’s a human being in that other car.

What if the patterns we notice in counseling aren’t rules for living, but invitations to pay attention? In this episode of After the Session, Unfinished Notes, we explore the recurring patterns that shape our thoughts, relationships, choices, and behaviors—and how noticing them can create space for greater awareness, freedom, and meaningful change.

Joining us today is Cathy Downen, Licensed Professional Counselor, National Certified Counselor, founder of Christian Counseling Connection, and a PhD candidate whose research focuses on post-traumatic growth. Together, we'll explore a question many people ask: Can trauma become the beginning of growth? While trauma changes us, it doesn't have to define us. We'll discuss how people move beyond merely surviving adversity to discovering deeper resilience, renewed purpose, stronger relationships, and a more mature faith.

We all carry wounds, but healing begins when pain no longer defines who we are. In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we explore the difference between being victimized and adopting a victim identity, and why reclaiming responsibility—not blame—is often the first step toward genuine freedom and growth.

Stress often isn't the real problem—our unmanaged stressors are. In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we explore how boundaries, assertiveness, and challenging cognitive distortions can reduce the sources of stress rather than simply managing our reactions. Greater agency begins by addressing what we can influence, not merely calming how we feel.

Money isn't just about numbers. In therapy, it often reveals deeper stories about fear, security, identity, relationships, and hope. While therapists don't give financial advice, they help people understand the beliefs and emotions driving financial decisions, because lasting change often begins beneath the budget.