Aging in Style with Lori Williams

Why do I need an Essential Binder?

It’s a godsend when families have all their information ready in case the unthinkable happens. You might remember our guest Lynne Von Villas in episode 39, “Getting organized! Creating a Binder of Essential Documents for Aging Parents.” She returns to the podcast to continue giving amazing advice on the critical information you’ll need not only for your loved ones’ end-of-life care, but also for the care of anyone in your family. Including Lynne’s tips will help you have a binder full of everything you’ll need, which is invaluable in times of crisis.

I can't stress this enough: meticulous documentation is key. You want to have a dedicated section for things like their driver's license, social security cards, and passports. Using a portable, lockable safe is a game-changer for keeping vital records secure. You can find great options at Lowe's, Home Depot, and even on Amazon.

Some other ways to prepare include knowing where to stash jewelry and keys to the more sensitive topics like weapons and long-term plans for any pets. Knowing your loved ones’ health history is crucial, including medications, allergies, hospitalizations - it all matters. Know if they have a do not resuscitate (DNR) order. It’s not fun to discuss, but burial and funeral arrangements are also good to know. It’s a gift when you can have open conversations and plan ahead, both emotionally and financially. The alternative is making decisions when you don’t feel you’re in a state to do so. Even if you’re young, you never know what might happen, so it’s best to be prepared or at least start the conversation.

Speaking of finances, document your legal and financial information like life insurance policies, long-term care policies, and other business affairs, plus banking details. Provide the information so loved ones can access these. Also helpful are contact lists, certificates, and even obituary notes. It's all about creating a “Life” binder that's not just practical but also compassionate, and a resource to make life easier for you and your loved ones.

Topics discussed:

1. Compiling financial and legal documents
2. Learning loved ones' medical history
3. Power of attorney
4. Caring for seniors' pets
5. Transitioning to senior living
6. How to create an obituary
7. Funeral planning

Takeaways from this episode:

1. Create a dedicated section in your binder IDs and documents such as driver's licenses, social security cards, and passports.
2. For assisted living and memory care, you may receive benefits if you’re retired military through the VA. Be sure to have proof of service.
3. Have a plan for pets. Document details about their needs, such as feeding schedules, medical history, and arrangements for their care if you’re unable to do so.
4. Include your health history, including medications, allergies, and ongoing medical conditions.
5. Have open conversations about burial and funeral arrangements, and discuss your preferences. This is such a help to the family when loved ones pass.
6. Add comprehensive information about legal and financial matters, including loans and titles, and how to access them.
7. Have a list of contacts, including family members, friends, and professional advisors. Consider providing notes or guidance for an obituary.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Aging in Style episode 39: Getting Organized! Creating a Binder of Essential Documents for Aging Parents

Start creating your own binder at loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/your-family-care-plan

Funeral Home arrangements episode: 080. The Love Always Project: Your final gift to a family well-loved

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/22035ed9/080-the-love-always-project-your-final-gift-to-a-family-well-loved

You’ve taken all the necessary steps to move your loved one into senior living - only to discover they don’t like it. What do you do if your loved one wants to move?

As a senior living expert, I’ve seen this situation happen a few times and have tips to help:

· To reduce your odds of choosing the wrong community, I recommend working with a senior placement advisor or another professional who can help you make an informed choice.

· Understand there’s an adjustment period. I recommend giving it 90 days before you explore other options. Know that it can take a while to get into the groove, and it’s almost like starting at a new school.

· Keep your lines of communication open. Go to the Executive Director of the community with your concerns. If the complaint is the food, perhaps speak to the dining staff – there are always alternate menus. The same idea applies to the activities director if your loved one is feeling lonely, and having trouble getting involved. They may be able to match you with an extroverted ‘ambassador.’

· Do your homework and read the contract to know what kind of notice you will need to give if this community is simply not the right fit.

Keep in mind you can break the lease if there’s a bigger issue such as dementia when you’re in a senior apartment, for example. Just be sure to have a doctor’s note.

Of course, there will be different needs for acclimating to a new community. Some memory care communities recommend letting your loved one settle in first, but others might allow their loved ones to spend the first few nights. Every situation is unique. Be sure to set expectations with your loved one as they’re in the process of getting settled.

From what I’ve seen, some people can be negative regardless of the community and don’t like change. Maybe your mom didn’t want to move in the first place, but it was best for her safety. Keep in mind it can be difficult to move after living in the same house for 50 years. Plus, I know it can cause guilt for loved ones, especially if the circumstance of the move wasn’t ideal.

Again, if you do find yourself in need of a change, please consider enlisting the help of a professional. They can take stock of your likes, dislikes and specific needs to match you with the right community.

Topics discussed:

1. Tips for choosing the right senior community
2. How to adjust to senior living
3. How to switch senior communities
4. Perks of using a senior placement specialist

Takeaways from this episode:

1. A senior placement advisor can review your care needs, likes and dislikes to help find the best community for you and prevent any mistakes.
2. Give it at least 90 days in a new senior community before considering another living situation. The first few weeks are the hardest.
3. It’s important to keep a line of communication open with people like the executive director, wellness director, dining staff and activities coordinator to learn what’s available to you as a resident.
4. Do your homework on where you move and be sure to set expectations with your loved one.
5. Keep in mind incidents like falling can happen anywhere, even with the best protections in place.
6. 
   

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Tips on Touring Senior Communities:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/7925ffcd/026-tips-on-touring-senior-communities

Stroke recovery is a rollercoaster. It’s easy to think there’s just the stroke itself and the recovery afterward. However, we’re going to hit speed bumps. Just when I thought things were starting to get more stable, Mark got sick with a stomach virus and had a seizure on January 3rd. He was dehydrated and had a high fever, and seeing someone have a seizure was terrifying. He was hospitalized for several days and then had to go back to rehab.

Being a caregiver for someone with a chronic health issue is no easy task. It's important to be organized, advocate for your loved one, and stay flexible. At the hospital, it’s important to pay attention – in my experience, they don’t always read the notes. It’s also helpful to have a medical card with any allergies and medications listed.

One difficult moment was that I was supposed to travel the week after Marks’ hospital stay. My children begged me to go, and I knew they could handle things at home. But I felt guilty leaving Mark, even for a few days. In the end, I'm so glad I went. I got some much-needed rest and relaxation. It's important to remember that it's okay to take care of yourself, even when you're caring for someone else. If you don't take time for yourself, you'll eventually burn out. Don’t let your guilt win.

Caring for someone with a chronic illness can be a lonely journey, but it's important to stay positive for yourself and your loved one. There will be good days and bad days, but there will also be moments of joy. Focus on the good times, and don't give up hope. Also remember you’re not alone, there are millions of caregivers in the world experiencing the same situations and feelings.

Topics discussed:

- Chronic illness

- Progressive disease

- Long-term impacts of stroke

- Advocating for loved ones

- Caregiving

- Maintaining a positive mindset

- Managing medications

Takeaways from this episode:

- Organize medical records, medication schedules, and contact lists for your loved one with chronic illness.

- ‘Vial of life’ provides medical information cards for emergencies when the patient is unable to communicate their needs to first responders.

- Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks and ask for help from friends and family. Everyone needs a rest, so don’t let guilt win.

- Take things one step at a time, be flexible, and celebrate small victories.

- The situation can be tough, but don’t let the negativity win. Lean into your support system.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Vial of life:

https://www.vialoflife.com

 125. Why you need to be an advocate for your loved one while they're in the hospital:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/2f5312a7/125-why-you-need-to-be-an-advocate-for-your-loved-one-while-theyre-in-the-hospital

147. Caregiver Burnout:

 https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/3305a7b8/147-the-silent-struggle-of-caregivers-and-tips-to-best-support-them

156. Need to hire a caregiver? Follow these tips!

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/1fcd1a05/156-need-to-hire-a-caregiver-follow-these-tips

155. Caregiver Burnout? These 6 Realistic Tips will help you support caregivers better

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/3ea79d8f/155-caregiver-burnout-these-6-realistic-tips-will-help-you-support-caregivers-better

’m a veteran, can VA help me pay for senior living?

You’re in luck. Did you know the VA Aid and Attendance benefit can help pay for some types of senior living?

The VA has many different programs out there, so it can be a bit complicated. VA Aid and Attendance is specifically designed to help veterans who need assistance with activities of daily living, like bathing, dressing, mobility, etc.

To qualify, you must:

1. Be a veteran or the spouse of a veteran (with exceptions)
2. Have served during eligible periods of war, like World War II, Korea, or Vietnam
3. Be 65 or older
4. Meet the needs requirements
5. Demonstrate financial need - there are income and asset restrictions

Keep in mind the VA won’t pay your senior living bill directly. Instead, they send you a monthly check, starting at around $2,229 a month. Spouses get around $1,432, and if you're a veteran married to another vet, you can receive up to $3,536 together. That's enough to make a huge difference in affording assisted living, memory care or residential care homes!

Here’s the catch: receiving this benefit involves paperwork (lots of it!), and it can take months to be approved. But the good news is that it's retroactive, so you are paid back for the time you waited. Plus, there are organizations like Patriot Angels who can help navigate the whole process.

Common myths about VA Aid and Assistance include:

1. Myth #1: It pays for any kind of senior living: It primarily helps pay for assisted living, memory care or licensed residential care homes.
2. Myth #2: It's quick and easy to get: No, as mentioned, it can be a bit of a process.
3. Myth #3: Divorce disqualifies you: If you were married to a veteran for at least 30 years before they passed, and you haven't remarried, you still qualify.

Topics discussed:

• VA Aid and Assistance benefit
• VA benefit Eligibility
• Common misconceptions of VA Aid and Assistance
• War veterans and senior living
• VA benefits for seniors

Takeaways from this episode:

- Use and reliable resources like elder law attorneys or organizations like Patriot Angels to apply for VA Aid and Assistance.

- Army, Navy, and Air Force veterans qualify for VA Aid and Assistance. National Guard and Coast Guard don’t qualify.

- For funding, senior living communities look at social security and pension income, long-term care insurance, and VA Aid and Assistance.

- If you already have a home care agency helping you with non-medical tasks like bathing or dressing, you might qualify.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

006. Home Health and Home Care explained: an interview with Kevin Jones

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/79a39e48/006-home-health-and-home-care-explained-an-interview-with-kevin-jones-owner-of-brightstar-care-flower-mound

Patriot Angels:

https://www.patriotangels.com

Why should I use a senior placement service for myself or my loved one?

There are 5 reasons to work with a senior placement service, and 3 things to consider when choosing the right locator service.

When you’re researching senior living for yourself or a loved one, it can be a challenging and time-consuming process. Without help, you risk wasted time, unwanted stress, and even ending up in the wrong type of senior living - which could mean you end up paying a lot of money for care you don’t need.

As a Senior Living Expert, I've worked in senior living for 17 years. Senior living placement services assess your needs to help you find the living situation and senior resources you need. I'll share the 5 reasons to use a senior placement service:

1. They save time. No need to Google options and find time to research during your busy day working and caregiving. A senior placement locator will already know what’s in the area. They do an assessment to learn your needs, budget, and location so you can quickly find a place that meets your needs and even brings you joy.

2. Senior locator services have community relationships and knowledge. They know the nuances of each senior living community option, where they are, and what sets them apart - and can educate you. If you like gardening, a senior placement locator can find you an apartment with a patio. They’ll also know the prices and where there’s availability.

3. They can refer you to other resources. Not only can they help you find a home, they can also refer you to other valuable resources: home care, hospice services, elder law attorneys, Medicare specialists, and more. Maybe you don’t actually need senior living and you just need a home health aide - senior placement specialists might know a great match.

4. They offer a roadmap and guidance along the way. If your mom broke her hip, they can help with every step, from preparing to move to settling into your new place and finding a rehab facility. They can also help explain how Medicare works and lay out a plan for the caregivers. They can also determine if staying home safely is possible and connect you to a local Meals on Wheels.

5. They’re free for you to use. It won’t cost you a dime. Senior locator services have contracts with the communities and earn a fee for successfully placing individuals. All other services, like creating a roadmap and connecting you with other services, are free.

I also explain 3 factors to consider when choosing your service:

1. It’s best to use a local service – they’ll know your area.

2. Make sure at least one person on staff is a Certified Senior Advisor (CSA).

3. Experience, reputation, and passion matter.

These tips help ensure a tailored experience where you’re helped by those with knowledge on aging and services.

Topics discussed:

· Senior living placement specialists

· Benefits of senior placement services

· Senior living communities

· Independent living and memory care

· Senior living considerations

· Senior resources

Takeaways from this episode:

-A great senior placement service will get to know your personality, hobbies, and preferences to find your best fit.

-Senior placement services offer a holistic experience beyond just matching you with a senior living community. They have contacts throughout the senior care industry and can help find movers, rehab, and even resources to help you stay home as long as possible.

-Residential care facilities (care in a house-type of environment) are less advertised and well-known, but a senior placement service will have the connection.

-Senior placement services are helpful for the “sandwich generation” that’s caregiving for their parents while caring for their children.

-Certified Senior Advisors (CSAs) are great to have on staff – they have deep knowledge about aging and services.

-A national placement service will be less knowledgeable about community reputation and nuances for your particular area.

Senior Housing 101:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/78876793/005-senior-housing-101

Ready to downsize? Hear about the service that'll help you sort, sell, pack, and move

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/79673618/029-ready-to-downsize-hear-about-the-service-thatll-help-you-sort-sell-pack-and-move-it

For more senior resources and to sign up to the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

After 17 years in senior living, I've witnessed thousands of families navigating the emotional rollercoaster of finding the right care for their loved ones. Through it all, I’ve come to identify the 4 types of families: the deniers, the always-yes, the dysfunctional family, and the guilt-ridden family. And believe me, just about everybody fits into one category!

·         The family in denial: This family doesn’t want to admit their loved one needs help or makes excuses for their behavior. They’ll often say they’re fine (when they’re not) and delay making a decision. Maybe they shut down when they become overwhelmed. Unfortunately, this can lead to disastrous results, so it’s important to weigh your options, of which there are many. Don’t ignore the signs your family member might be having trouble.

·         The always-yes family: This family is quick to agree to anything and may not take the time to carefully consider all options - or the best fit for their loved ones. Many senior communities are great, but it doesn’t mean it’s great for your specific situation. Be sure to ask questions and understand the needs of your loved one. A local, reputable placement service can also help guide you.

·         The dysfunctional family: This family has conflict and disagreements, mostly among the siblings, which can make it difficult to agree on a decision about senior living. Maybe one sibling is in denial and the other is fully onboard with moving their loved one to senior living.

·         The guilt-ridden family: This family feels guilty about moving their loved one into senior living and may wait until there is an emergency before making the move. It’s not always easy changing your loved one’s routine, but their health is the most important factor.

Be aware of which type of family you have and the role you’re playing within it. Take the time to carefully consider all your options before making a decision about senior living. And I preach this all the time, you don’t have to do this alone, so consider working with a local placement specialist to help find the best fit for your loved one.

Topics discussed:

- Denial and guilt

- Senior living considerations

- Family feuds and disagreements

- Family dynamics

- Senior living placement services

- Family therapy

- Senior living as an act of love

Takeaways from this episode:

- If your mom lost weight or seems more forgetful, don’t put your head in the sand. Start putting together a plan, keeping in mind you have options.

- Senior communities aren’t one size fits all. Understand what your loved one needs and choose a community that best meets those needs. Placement services can help guide you.

- If you’re at odds with a loved one about how to care for your senior, consider using a therapist to help mediate and get on the same page.

- Don’t let guilt keep you from keeping your loved one safe. Change is hard but often necessary for safety.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

131. 5 reasons to use senior placement services, plus 3 determining factors to choose the right one:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/cedd6e34/131-5-reasons-to-use-senior-placement-services-plus-3-determining-factors-to-choose-the-right-one

Where do I go for help when applying for social security disability (SSD) benefits?

If you‘re under 65 and become disabled due to a stroke or another setback that prevents you from working, you may be eligible for Social Security Disability (SSD) benefits. Today I’m sharing my experience of applying for SSD benefits for my husband, Mark, who had a series of strokes last Christmas.

At first, I felt overwhelmed by the confusing and time-consuming application. Plus, I had heard horror stories about it taking two years or more to qualify! Thankfully, Mark's case manager recommended a company called Allsup.com, which specializes in helping people with disabilities apply for SSD benefits and prevent delays in approval.

With their guidance, I was able to gather all the necessary documentation and complete the application. After an initial three-month waiting period mandated after a stroke, Mark's application was approved in record time. This was a godsend to our family as we face mounting hospital and specialist bills, caregiver payments and our usual monthly financial commitments.

When a loved one has a new disability and you suddenly find yourself in the role of a caregiver, life is busy and stressful enough as it is. That’s why I can’t recommend a company like Allsup enough, especially considering the complexity of the SSD application process. It’s invaluable for those unable to work and can help with the financial assistance your family needs. Plus, it may be a cost-saving option compared to hiring a lawyer.

Having the right resources is so important when your family is going through a crisis, and as always, there’s no need to do it all on your own.

Topics discussed:

1. Social Security Disability (SSD)
2. Disability benefits
3. Stroke victims
4. SSD application and documentation
5. Allsup.com

Takeaways from this episode:

· Applying for social security disability (SSD) can be complicated. Try using a company like AllSup.com, which specializes in helping people with the application process.

· Don’t wait! Start the application as soon as you’re able because the process can take a few months.

· Gather all necessary documentation, including medical, financial and employment records.

· Don’t give up if your application is denied. You have a right to appeal the decision.

· Be prepared to give detailed answers to questions about your disability.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Get your copy of my book Surrounded by Love: One Family's Journey Through Stroke Recovery:

https://amzn.to/3Y41CxA

Allsup:

https://www.allsup.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Surrounded by Love

You can find my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery," on Amazon. It is available as a Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and also on Audible. More details can be found on my website:

With Christmas just a few days away, it's been nearly a year since my husband Mark’s stroke. We weren't sure he'd make it, but he’s since defied the odds. Needless to say, it’s been a wild year of recovery with no shortage of curveballs!

When I think about what I’ve learned this year, 4 themes come to mind:

1. The importance of my faith. Fear became my normal for a while, and the future felt so uncertain. But through it all, faith was my anchor, reminding me that even on this rollercoaster ride, I wasn’t alone. With Mark’s remarkable progress this year, I truly believe miracles exist.

2. Learn to ask for and accept help. As they say, it takes a village. Friends, family, even strangers reached out with kindness and support. It taught me to accept help and let go of the attitude that I should do it all myself. I’m glad I did because our caregiver has been a godsend, and I even call her my “fairy godmother.”

3. Setting boundaries became critical. I learned to protect my space and nurture the relationships that lifted me up, not dragged me down. There’s no time or need for stress or drama. As they say, life is short.

4. Find ways to manage any difficult feelings. Since Mark had his stroke around Christmas, my family and I struggle to detach the bad memories from this time of year. We’re working through it and changing the color of our Christmas tree, and maybe we’ll eat Mexican food instead of our normal Christmas feast.

This past year has been the hardest of my life, but it’s also been a game-changer. You’ll learn more about Mark’s stroke recovery and my caregiving journey in 2024, as I'm writing a book about our experience to share a raw but hopeful story of what happens when life throws your carefully laid plans out the window.

Happy New Year, and I hope you’ll be right there with us in this next chapter.

Topics discussed:

- Stroke recovery

- Faith over fear

- Overcoming adversity

- Caregivers accepting help

- Boundaries

- Self-care

- Managing trauma

Takeaways from this episode:

1. A helpful Bible verse for hard times is Jeremiah 29:11: “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
2. Help from others is critical to overcoming hard times, so don’t be afraid to lean on your support system.
3. Set boundaries by removing negativity from your life. Instead, focus on positive, life-affirming connections.
4. We have no choice when bad events happen to us. All we can do is grow from them and share our experiences to help others.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Get your copy of my book Surrounded by Love: One Family's Journey Through Stroke Recovery:

https://amzn.to/3Y41CxA

Mentioned in this episode:

Surrounded by Love

You can find my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery," on Amazon. It is available as a Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and also on Audible. More details can be found on my website:

What are some best practices to talk to someone with Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia?

Though many people have loved ones with dementia, they don’t always know the best way to communicate with them.

I often relay tips to people whose parents have dementia – and they often realize they’re not putting them into practice.

My 5 tips can help you and your loved one with dementia live more peacefully and stress-free. It can be difficult tending to a family member with memory loss, but interacting with them effectively can help their mood and well-being (and yours).

Topics discussed:

- Alzheimer’s, dementia and short-term memory

- Communicating with people with dementia

- Caregiving support

- Practicing patience

Takeaways from this episode:

- It helps to differentiate between your loved one’s disease and them as a person. If they knew how they were acting, they might be embarrassed or mortified.

- Treat them with respect by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly and at a moderate pace, and using shorter sentences.

- Join your family on their journey rather than correcting them. It’s often not worth the effort and in their mind, their reality is correct.

- Avoid arguing with them because you risk agitating them, embarrassing them or making them upset.

- Don’t remind them if a loved one has passed away. Each time they remember it can be like reliving it the first time. It also serves no purpose if they’ll just forget in 5 minutes.

- Demonstrate to your loved ones that you’re listening to them and trying to understand what they’re saying. Even if they repeat themselves often, try to be patient.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

008. Dementia Journey Through a Daughter's Perspective:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/77cb0bff/008-dementia-journey-from-a-daughters-perspective

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What are some lessons from the reality show, The Golden Bachelor?

My social media specialist Sarah Polan rejoins me to discuss "The Golden Bachelor," a spinoff of the dating reality show where a group of women compete to become engaged to a single man. In this version, the bachelor is a 72-year-old widower named Gerry Turner, a man looking for his next great love after the death of his wife Toni.

Now that the finale has aired, we review the show in its entirety and share our thoughts about the outcome. We discuss:

- How this spinoff compared to previous seasons with younger contestants

-  What we thought of the winner

- How Gerry conducted himself – and if it’s okay to say ‘I love you’ to multiple women

-  Which ladies were our favorites

-  Who should be Golden Bachelorette

- The lessons to take away from this show

Compared to the original, it’s refreshing that the women on the show are all older and don't engage in the catty behavior and fights we've seen in other seasons of "The Bachelor." I’ve noticed in my work that women in their 60s and 70s don’t see a point in drama – life’s too short. While the women Gerry sends home may not win his affection, they earn a different type of love: the love of friendship. It’s heartwarming to see older women make close bonds with each other, which unfortunately can become rare as we age.

Over the course of the show, we see age is just a number. Love is not just for the young! Plus, they still go on adventures in Costa Rica, such as rappelling off a cliff and riding horses. Don’t let your mind trick you into thinking you’re too old to try new activities or to meet someone new.

Overall, Sarah and I enjoyed watching "The Golden Bachelor" and the reminder that love has no age limit. Plus...we’ll likely be tuning in to the live wedding ceremony on January 4, 2024!

Topics discussed:

- The Golden Bachelor on ABC

- Reality TV for seniors

- Love, romance and companionship as a senior

- Making new friends

- Lessons from The Golden Bachelor

Takeaways from this episode:

- It’s never too late to find love. Society seems to think it’s just for the young, but The Golden Bachelor reinforces that such attitudes couldn’t be more wrong.

- Age is just a number. The women in "The Golden Bachelor" are all in their 60s and 70s, but they are still open to trying new things and starting a new beginning with a special someone.

- The love of friendship is also super important and can be a comfort to those without a partner.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

160. How the new season of the Bachelor is changing mindsets about dating in the golden years

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/348e0107/160-how-the-new-season-of-the-bachelor-is-changing-mindsets-about-embracing-romance-in-our-older-years

060. 96 Years Young, World War II Vet, the MOST Inspirational Senior I know

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/57a002ea/060-96-years-young-world-war-ii-vet-the-most-inspirational-senior-i-know-meet-doug-brown

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/