Aging in Style with Lori Williams

70% of people with Alzheimer's or another type of dementia will wander at some point in time due to poor short-term memory. ‘Wandering’ means getting lost by moving away from where they’re typically located, whether it’s driving or walking. This can be dangerous when they’re unable to find their way back and risk their safety or being taken advantage of.

This is where the Safe Return MedicAlert® program comes in.

Tanesha Tyler-Carr of the Alzheimer’s Association explains the role of Safe Return in reuniting families with their wandering loved one - continuing to draw from her experience with one-on-one care planning, crisis management and referral for families affected by Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia.

Topics discussed:

- Senior wandering

- Alzheimer’s and other dementia

- Safe Return Program

- MedicAlert® Foundation

- Safe Return Medic Alert Advantage Program

- When it’s time to consider memory care

Takeaways from this episode:

- The Safe Return Medic Alert Program is through the Medic Alert Foundation. It supplies medical ID bracelets for those who unsafely wander and provides a 24-hour emergency response.

- Once a senior becomes a member, they get an ID card with their number that connects to a database with their name, emergency contact, physical description and more.

- Some chapters of the Alzheimer’s Association offer a scholarship program for the initiation and annual renewal fee costs.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Learn more about the 24/7 wandering response program:

Alz.org/medicalert

Call the Alzheimer’s Association:

1-800-272-3900

MedicAlert Foundation:

https://www.medicalert.org

Dana Mantilia realized how critical it is for people to learn about cybercriminals, identity thieves, and scammers while creating her identity protection company. 

Criminals often prey upon seniors in particular by playing on their emotions and loneliness, creating a sense of urgency to get them to act fast. That’s why it’s important to have conversations with seniors who aren’t as knowledgeable about the pitfalls of technology so they’re aware of the risks and keep their personal information secure.

This week Dana joins me to discuss the top tactics cyber criminals use. She shares common red flags to look out for, so you can spot an attempt when it’s happening. With her protection tips gaining more than 2.5 million views on social media, her advice is useful for people of all ages to prevent identity theft and avoid becoming a victim of fraud.

Topics discussed:

- Senior scams

- Identity theft

- Data breaches

- Credit monitoring

- Phone and email scammers

- Money laundering

- Cybersecurity

Takeaways from this episode:

- Scams tend to play off of emotions and urgency so you don’t have time to stop to consider the likelihood of their claims being false. Realize that in real life most requests don’t have to happen immediately, so don’t rush to pay anyone.

- Common phone scams include pretending to be a relative that needs money to get out of jail, people from “Medicare” asking for personal information, and “charities” needing donations.

- Use charitynavigator.org to check if a charity is legitimate.

- Never give out your personal information on the phone. Government agencies will reach out to you through the mail, not by phone.

- People will take advantage of seniors on dating sites by quickly escalating a relationship and asking for money.

- Don’t transfer money from your account to a stranger's because it could be a money-laundering scheme and you could be held liable.

- Review your privacy settings on Facebook.

- Use different passwords for everything so if your login details are stolen for one account, your others aren’t immediately compromised.

- Be sure to check your Google / Gmail password because your account often stores payment information to all the websites you visit.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

To connect to Dana and learn more about her Identity Protection Business:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dana-mantilia/

https://www.identityprotectionplanning.com/

To claim your online social security account:

https://www.ssa.gov/myaccount/

To verify a charity's work before donating:

www.charitynavigator.org

To find out if your email address has been part of a data breach:

https://haveibeenpwned.com/

Mexican prison scam video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTL1vK6r3qw

Order my book: https://amzn.to/3Y41CxA

Today, I want to share a personal update that has been close to my heart: the journey my family and I have been on since my husband, Mark, had four strokes starting on Christmas Day, 2022. This experience has taught me so much and I feel compelled to share it with you, especially if you're caring for someone critically ill or injured.

Over a year and a half, I've been giving updates about Mark. At age 62, he had four strokes which rendered him disabled. We've undergone a series of hospitalizations, in-hospital rehab, and now neuro rehab, and it's been an exhaustive yet enlightening journey. Since the beginning, Mark has been giving everything he has, enduring outpatient neuro rehab but as of late, he's felt too much pain to continue. We had to make the hard decision to end his outpatient rehab sessions and find an alternative.

As a caregiver, I initially felt blinded by what I thought was best for Mark. But I had to step back and realize that his mental well-being was as important as physical recovery. So, we transitioned to "Rehab Without Walls," a program that allows rehab at home. With 24 hours of weekly therapy, including physical, occupational, and speech therapy, Mark is now happier, experiencing less pain, and surrounded by the comforts of home.

Looking ahead, we'll need to navigate the complexities of Medicare from December when Mark turns 64 and a half. Our journey will change as private insurance gives way to Medicare, and our access to specialized neuro-rehab might be limited. To mitigate this, we've started planning now, including seeking private therapies to ensure Mark continues his progress.

I also want to share the exciting news about my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family's Journey Through Stroke Recovery," which was published in late July. The response has been overwhelming with positive reviews and numerous people reaching out to share how the book has helped them. I started jotting down notes on my phone during Mark's early days in ICU, which eventually turned into this comprehensive guide based on our experiences.

Here are some FAQs I've received about the book and our journey:

"When did you have time to write a book?"

From the ICU days, I was taking notes on my iPhone about my thoughts and experiences. Over time, these notes formed the basis of the book. Journaling has always been a release for me, and I found it therapeutic.

"How has the feedback been?"

The book's feedback has been heartwarming. We've received 14 five-star reviews on Amazon and many personal emails thanking us for sharing our journey, providing guidance for caregivers, and offering hope.

"What are the future plans?"

I've been invited to speak at various groups about the book and stroke education. Hospitals and rehab centers are interested in sharing the book with their patients, which is my dream—to reach and help as many people as possible.

Being a caregiver has been the hardest thing I've ever done, and it's crucial to acknowledge the challenges but also to proactively prepare for them. Always having a plan A, B, C, and D has been my strategy. The love and support we've received have been overwhelming, and we're deeply grateful.

Topics Covered:

-Strokes

-Stroke Recovery

-Book about stroke recovery

-Aging

-Aging well

-Stroke rehab

Episode takeaways:

-Mark's recovery journey has been a testament to his resilience, as he has faced numerous physical and emotional challenges with determination.

-We’ve had to continuously adapt to new realities, such as ending Mark’s outpatient neuro rehab when it became too painful for him, and finding alternative therapies. Having therapy at home has made a significant difference, providing Mark with a familiar and comforting environment that aids his recovery.

-Prioritizing Mark’s emotional well-being has been as important as addressing his physical needs, helping him feel more content and less isolated.

-The positive response to my book has reinforced the idea that sharing our story can have a powerful impact on others facing similar challenges.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

200. Surrounded by Love: Live Reading of my Book's First Chapter and Taking Questions

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/1b86b506/200-surrounded-by-love-live-reading-of-my-books-first-chapter-and-taking-audience-questions

Mentioned in this episode:

Surrounded by Love

You can find my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery," on Amazon. It is available as a Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and also on Audible. More details can be found on my website:

So, you decided your loved one needs a caregiver…what’s next? Where do you find one? How do you choose the right fit?

I'm not only a senior living expert with 17+ years of experience in the industry, but I am also the primary caregiver for my husband who is a stroke survivor. I have the perspective of helping others find the right resources while navigating this reality for my own family.  

With this unique position, I have gathered 7 tips for choosing a caregiver:

1. Understand the needs of your loved one. Do they have dementia? Find someone with relevant experience. Which tasks do you need help with? Also, figure out if you need someone only a few hours a week, or a few hours each day.

2. Know your finances. If you don’t have Medicare, you may be paying out of pocket. Consider what you can reasonably afford. Read your long-term care policy or contact your agent to make sure you understand financial limitations.

3. Involve your family. Make sure everyone’s on board with a caregiver. Communicate with them if you’ve been the caregiver up to this point and you’re burning out.

4. Decide on an agency vs. a private caregiver. Ask around at your church or in your social groups for recommendations. There are also franchises, but those tend to be pricier than local options and may require a minimum amount of time per day or week.

5. Ask others about their experience. Look at online reviews and see what people are saying about certain agencies.

6. Interview the candidate. Find a fit for your needs – and consider personality too! This could be someone that spends a lot of time with your family. Do you have a dog? Make sure they’re okay with dogs.

7. Communicate with your loved one and have a plan. It may be hard for your loved one to accept they need a caregiver. Present your plan and tell them it’s for their safety and your own well-being as well.

Topics discussed:

- Hiring a caregiver / home care

- Caregiver considerations

- Long-term care provisions

- Home care agencies

- Private caregivers

- Home care reviews

- Caregiver rates

Takeaways from this episode:

- Know if your loved ones have a pension, what their expenses are, and anything else that can impact your plan for hiring a caregiver.

- Consider reverse-mortgaging your home to access more funds.

- If your loved one is a veteran, there are different VA programs such as aid and attendance. Some agencies even have a contract with the VA to cover home care.  

- Big-name home care franchises tend to be more expensive, depending on your state, and can be $30-35 per hour. A private caregiver averages $25 an hour.

- Home care may require a minimum amount of time with you – for example, 4 hours a day, 12 hours a week.

- Have a plan in place before telling your loved one about home help coming in. Stand firm if adding help to your life is something you need to feel safe.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Caregiver Burnout? These 6 Realistic Tips will help you support caregivers better:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/3ea79d8f/155-caregiver-burnout-these-6-realistic-tips-will-help-you-support-caregivers-better

Reverse mortages: https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/496a46e6/137-reverse-mortgages-explained

How to Pay for Senior Living: https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/251098f0/115-how-to-pay-for-senior-living

What are the benefits of speech therapy to the brain?

If you have a stroke or a traumatic brain injury, you might find yourself visiting a speech-language pathologist. Depending on your injury, this professional helps with different areas of cognition and executive functioning, like decision-making and problem-solving skills. Together you’ll work to restore communication – and become as independent as possible in the meantime.

Francine Waskavitz is a speech-language pathologist (SLP) and integrative health and nutrition coach (IHNC) with a passion for helping seniors maximize their cognitive health. By raising awareness on the importance of a holistic lifestyle, she encourages seniors to take early action to support their mind and overall health. In her own life, she learned about the power of food to heal and nourish - even alleviating and preventing Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) that could lead to dementia.

During her one-on-one coaching with patients, she also uses the Memory Wellness Wheel™. This breaks memory resilience into 8 elements. In her therapy, she goes through it one by one and works on helping you improve where necessary. This practice, along with lifestyle changes, have helped patients see incredible improvement.

We discuss:

- What speech therapy is

- Research on the relationship between aging, memory, health, and speech

- The importance of lifestyle in preventing / overcoming cognitive decline

- Signs of Mild Cognitive Impairment

- Steps to take if you notice your memory / cognitive health declining

And more.

Whether you’re working to improve your memory or prevent dementia / Mild Cognitive Impairment, lifestyle is key. The right diet can help, along with staying mentally active and getting proper sleep.

Topics discussed:

- Speech therapy

- The role of a speech-language pathologist

- Nutrition and lifestyle

- Stroke / traumatic brain injury recovery

- Mild Cognitive Impairment and dementia

- Inflammation and disease

- Improving memory

Takeaways from this episode:

- Speech therapy is covered under Medicare as long as it's medically necessary. A change in medical status would also qualify somebody to have speech therapy services.

- As Dr. Mark Hyman said: “Your genes load the gun, but your lifestyle pulls the trigger.” While your genes play a role in your health outcomes, your habits and lifestyle impact it the most.

- It’s critical to mention cognitive changes to your doctor. Forgetfulness is not a natural part of aging, so take note when it happens and how often.

- Masking and denial are early signs of cognitive change. However, once you speak with a professional about it, it may become easier to manage.

- Along with seeing your doctor, start with managing nutrition, sleep, and stress to help battle mental fog. Typically, within a few weeks, it will make all the difference.

- Inflammation is the root of disease. Look at your numbers, such as blood pressure, and try to incorporate omega-3s (salmon, chia, walnuts, etc.) in your diet.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Schedule a free 30-minute consultation with Francine Waskavitz:

https://www.francinewaskavitz.com/

Take your Memory Wellness Wheel™ assessment

https://www.francinewaskavitz.com/takemytest

075. How brain fitness slows down dementia and Alzheimer's disease

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/3a1051ca/075-how-brain-fitness-slows-down-dementia-and-alzheimers-disease

It’s common for those with Alzheimer’s to have challenging behaviors – maybe they’re terrified, aggressive, or not sleeping. However, when Tonja Moon’s family gave her grandma a baby doll, everything changed. Her grandma’s mood completely changed, and the baby became her purpose. She began eating more and stopped wandering. She finally settled down and had a routine. Best of all, it helped provide the calmness she needed.

Tonja founded The Grand Baby Project in memory of her grandmother. It’s a research-backed nonprofit that offers dolls to Assisted Living and Memory Care communities and those suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s. They even offer training to help implement daily therapy in a way that will benefit those with dementia, including tips on introducing the baby, engagement techniques, and examples of activities.

Doll therapy is huge in the United Kingdom and Australia, but hasn’t yet gained traction in the U.S. It may seem odd to give dolls to a senior with dementia, but doll therapy helps give this population purpose – and those with dementia still deserve a sense of purpose!

Plus, caring for a doll can help provide peace, comfort, and joy, and the results have been remarkable. Many will sing to their dolls or revert to behaviors from when they were parents themselves, like bouncing or rocking them. Having a doll also provides a daily routine like walking them in a stroller, music time, and bedtime.

The Grand Baby Project is a nonprofit that works to find sponsors and donate to the folks who need them, and it is backed by the Dementia Society of America. They’re always fundraising so they don’t have to tell someone no.

Topics discussed:

1. Alzheimer’s and dementia
2. Doll therapy
3. Therapeutic activities for dementia
4. Alternatives to dementia medication
5. Activities for dementia patients
6. Assisted Living and Memory Care Training

Takeaways from this episode:

- Those with advanced dementia live in the moment. Doll therapy is a great way to help them find purpose, peace, and joy during a troubled time.

- Some studies have shown that if a dementia patient has doll therapy, they don’t have to take as much medication.

- The Grand Baby Project uses lifelike and life-sized dolls that are soft and cuddly, and come in different ethnicities. They also wear clothing in pleasing textures to those with dementia, who often have sensory issues as the disease progresses.

- When a senior is focused on the doll, it helps relieve often overworked and understaffed memory care facilities. When someone with the disease is calm and sitting, this calm state allows workers to check on more patients.

- There are many regulations around prescribing medications, and they're not always guaranteed to work. Doll therapy for Alzheimer's and dementia patients offers a great alternative.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Learn more about The Grand Baby Project:

https://thegrandbabyproject.org

https://www.facebook.com/grandbabyproject

Contact The Grand Baby Project to donate, sponsor an event, and more:

[email protected]

Try the 7 steps to change your mindset.

Your mindset can make or break a situation.

If you look for the negatives, you’ll easily find negativity. If you can find the positive in it, positivity spreads. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can choose our response – and choosing to nurture a positive vs. negative mindset is often key to a life well lived. This skill can be applied at any age.

It can be difficult to reframe your mindset.

Thankfully, as a Senior Services Expert I'll share 7 steps that are known to help:

1. Start the day with a positive thought. This is quick and can be as small as being thankful for the rain because your grass needs it.
2. Take note of the good things, no matter how small. Pay attention, and you’ll begin to notice them more easily.
3. Find humor in bad situations. Sometimes it’s better to laugh than cry.
4. Turn your failures into lessons. Maybe you tried something new and it wasn’t perfect. You still grew as a person.
5. Don’t say anything bad about yourself. Avoid negative self-talk – cheer yourself on instead.
6. Focus on the present. Anxiety happens when you get 10 steps ahead of yourself.
7. Surround yourself with positive influences. Connect with people who are encouraging instead of people who complain or have negative energy.

Topics discussed:

• Positivity
• Positive affirmations
• Training your brain
• The power of mindset
• Trying new things
• Open-mindedness

Takeaways from this episode:

1. Your body may change as you age, and perhaps you can’t dance like you used to. That doesn’t mean you can’t adjust your dancing and enjoy yourself like you used to.
2. You can either be the person who says “I can’t do that” or the person who tries.
3. Live in the present. Anxiety happens when you worry about the future when it hasn’t happened yet. Understand that you can’t plan for everything and tackle one challenge at a time.
4. You are the company you keep, so surround yourself with people who lift you up instead of diminishing your energy.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

I am beyond excited to welcome you to the 200th episode of "Aging in Style." It's incredible to think that we've come this far, and I am so grateful for your ongoing support. This episode is particularly special for me because it coincides with the launch of my new book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery."

I launched the book on Amazon in the third week of July, and it's already topping new release categories in aging parents and strokes. I'm thrilled and truly believe this book will reach the individuals who need it most – caregivers, advocates of critically ill loved ones, and anyone who might find solace and guidance in our story.

Our Story

For those of you who have been following along with the podcast, you know my story. My husband, Mark, had the first in a series of four strokes on Christmas Day 2022. This unexpected journey has taught us so much about strokes, caregiving, grief, and significantly strengthened my faith. I've shared much of this on the podcast, but I wanted to compile our experiences and insights into a book that could potentially help prevent strokes and assist others in similar situations. Statistically, 80 percent of strokes are preventable, and sharing this knowledge is my mission.

Live Stream Highlights

Recently, we hosted a live stream where I did a reading of the first chapter from my book and took audience questions. Despite a few technical difficulties initially, we had a great turnout and lots of engagement from viewers. I am immensely grateful to those who participated, and I want to share some key moments from that livestream.

Live Reading of Chapter One

The first chapter of my book, titled "The Moment Life Changed," covers the day Mark had his first stroke. I've re-lived that day countless times, wondering if I could have done anything differently. The chapter describes our Christmas day, the suddenness of the stroke, and our frantic rush to the hospital. The immediacy of the situation and the ensuing medical procedures are etched into my memory – from recognizing the signs of a stroke using the FAST acronym (Face, Arms, Speech, Time) to the life-changing experience of having Mark transported by helicopter to urgent care.

The chapter also highlights the importance of being an effective advocate for a loved one in medical crises and how crucial it is to have knowledgeable support systems in place. Writing down and sharing my feelings, day-to-day experiences, and the medical processes we navigated has been therapeutic and, I hope, will be beneficial to others.

Audience Q&A

During the live stream, viewers asked some insightful questions:

1. Role in ICU: When in the ICU with a loved one, it's vital to ask questions and stay informed about their condition. I relied heavily on my medical background and support from friends and family in the healthcare field to navigate through Mark's care.
2. Faith's Role: My faith has grown stronger through this ordeal. While such an event could fracture one’s faith, for me, it provided strength and a perspective that we could turn this challenging journey into something positive.
3. Content of the Book: Viewers were curious about the writing process and what I chose to include or leave out. I aimed to be as honest and comprehensive as possible, albeit removing a few potentially contentious sections under advice.

Reflection and Moving Forward

As we celebrate this podcast milestone and the launch of my book, I am filled with gratitude and a renewed sense of purpose. Your support fuels my mission to raise awareness about stroke prevention and caregiving. If our story can help even one person, it will all have been worth it.

Key Takeaways:

1. Around 80% of Strokes are preventable.
2. Witnessing a stroke can be scary but the key thing to act FAST.
3. Asking questions to medical staff is key throughout every stage.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

You can find my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery," on Amazon. It is available as a Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and also on Audible. More details can be found on my website:

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

What is Emelita's closet and how it supports the community:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/3a30e669/167-ask-lori-emelitas-closet-an-update-on-how-you-can-support-our-senior-community

Mentioned in this episode:

Surrounded by Love

You can find my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery," on Amazon. It is available as a Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and also on Audible. More details can be found on my website:

When someone suffers a stroke, it’s common to get the perspective of a spouse or primary caregiver. But what about children who are younger adults on the cusp of life?

When my husband Mark had 4 strokes that began on Christmas Day in 2022, my children Abby and Chris saw the horror unfold and our lives changed in an instant. While I was pitted in the chaos of making quick medical decisions and figuring out insurance, my kids were dealing with their own reality. Today Abby is 21 and Chris is 28, and while many of their peers live carefree lives pursuing their dreams, their experience caused them to mature faster and learn how quickly life can change.

It's been a tumultuous 18 months of processing heavy emotions. With Mark in the hospital or rehab and me either attending to him or working, they’ve had some quiet moments of reflection and some lessons and truths about themselves that they’ve taken away.

Chris has:

- Felt more empowered to take on stressful tasks

- Stepped up to provide help by caregiving for his father

- Learned not to take it personally when words are spoken in stressful moments

- Celebrates it when he achieves difficult tasks vs. fixating on the difficulty of getting there

- Practices being present instead of focusing on the past or worrying about the future

Abby has:

- Recognized how life can change in an instant

- Learned to appreciate “the moments of color” that come into what can sometimes be a gray world

- Found her calling – to become an occupational therapist

- Savor each moment of joy without taking it for granted

- Practiced feeling and expressing her emotions instead of holding them in

- Acknowledged everyone is going through something we may not know about, so have compassion

Both have had to grieve the way their father was and become accustomed to the change, but I couldn’t be prouder of the adults they have become. Part of me feels sadness this happened to them so early in life, but I am excited to see how they manage to take these challenges and create something beautiful from them.

Topics discussed:

- Grieving parents

- Children caregiving for parents

- Anxiety and PTSD

- Staying present and positive

- Stroke families

Takeaways from this episode:

- Stressful circumstances can help you realize new strengths you have and even set you on a new course for life.

- It’s possible to grieve someone who is still alive, and this is especially true for younger family members of those who have had a stroke.

- Stay present – try not to replay the past in your head or worry about the future.

- Be kind because you never know what someone is going through.

- Life can change in an instant, so savor and appreciate the good moments.

- Give yourself grace!

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Get your copy of Surrounded by Love: One Family's Journey Through Stroke Recovery:

https://amzn.to/3Y41CxA

Mentioned in this episode:

Surrounded by Love

You can find my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery," on Amazon. It is available as a Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and also on Audible. More details can be found on my website:

How does caregiving change you?

Since my husband Mark had four strokes on Christmas Day in 2022, the past 18 months have profoundly changed me. This journey through hospitals, rehabs, and endless challenges pushed me to a new level of toughness I never knew I had.

While I never doubted my community, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at the love I’ve received. This inspired the name of my new book, Surrounded by Love, which details my experience as a caregiver. So many people came to my side to help my family in our time of need, and it strengthened my belief in the goodness of humanity.

One of the biggest changes has been in my resilience. Dealing with Mark's health issues has shown me just how strong and capable I am. I've had to step up in ways I never imagined, from managing our household to ensuring Mark receives the best medical care. This has also helped me build confidence in my problem-solving skills!

My experience with Mark’s strokes has also deepened my compassion and empathy. Although I helped others through my work in senior services, I can now say I’ve walked in their shoes and know the physical and emotional toll firsthand. I feel a strong bond with my fellow caregivers.

Through it all my faith has been a constant source of strength. I've learned to lean on it more than ever, especially during the toughest moments. I’ll admit I’ve had my fair share of trauma and I have had to pull myself from spirals of grief. However, writing my book has also helped me process, and I hope it helps others in similar situations.

I’m grateful to have experienced such generosity from my friends and family and the moments of grace that come our way. This journey has changed me in ways I couldn't have anticipated, but I'm hopeful that sharing my story will help those of you facing similar challenges.

Topics discussed:

- Caregiving

- Impact of strokes on loved ones

- The power of community

- Finding inner strength

Takeaways from this episode:

-  You don’t know how strong you are until you have no choice.

- Find a way to ease the emotional burden, whether it’s writing, praying, or sharing your experience with others.

-  Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. Caregiving isn’t easy.

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email [email protected]

For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/

https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/

https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Get your copy of Surrounded by Love: One Family's Journey Through Stroke Recovery:

https://amzn.to/3Y41CxA

Mentioned in this episode:

Surrounded by Love

You can find my book, "Surrounded by Love: One Family’s Journey Through Stroke Recovery," on Amazon. It is available as a Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and also on Audible. More details can be found on my website: