The Word Whore gets up close and personal with studio furnishings. Tim Clare taps his way back into our hearts. Rainy days and Mondays might always get Preston down, but topless cheerleaders get us all off.

Tired of mere boys trying, the Word Whore takes Michael Beckwith for a tumble. Preston's weekend in Richmond raises questions about "payload delivery" ethics among ambulance drivers everywhere. A call to Banacheck lands one step short and falls flat on its ass.

Buttons sustains actual physical abuse while airing out "Home" by Z.J. Maplin, but The Word Whore later comforts him with tea and dick. During a first time call to Independent Canadian Recording Artist - "LINK" - they learn of his preference for the produce section and an affinity for golden showers.

While taking it up one nostril and in one eye, Buttons and The Whore begin to air out a series of shorts submitted by Sam Keenan. Clothes break out, cougars pounce, vultures circle and a long-distance pillow fight ensues.

Preston uncovers big gaping holes in The Word Whore's aura, while airing out "The Blue Man" by Chris Strange. A call to 'Banachek' - conveniently accompanied by 'Ms. Dizz' - further complicates Revirginization Procedures and threatens lab rats everywhere.

Preston and The Whore celebrate the one month anniversary of their first episode, their rather shocking arrival on the "iTunes Top 100" in Canada, and the announcement of their first contest. Episode features " The Demon" by Dave Aldridge and a call to "Chef Lech".

Buttons and The Whore make the tragic mistake of recording in the wee hours after a long press-whorin' night out on the town. Bleary-eyed, slurred-word scientific discoveries are made... mind-boggling, age-old mysteries are solved. Somewhere in this train wreck of an episode, a short story may have been half-heartedly tackled. A call to 'South B'otch' and 'The Rope Maiden' turns everybody's brown eyes... PINK!

The Word Whore has a complete meltdown as she and Buttons foolishly subject themselves to a grueling 'on air' psycho-analysis at the hands of a visiting - obviously fraudulent - 'doctor'. A story submission by John Osborne uncovers The Whore's adventures in baby sitting. A call to 'Working Girl' confirms Preston's suicidal tendencies.

Buttons and The Whore crack the Bert and Ernie story. Preston helps Phillip Elliott spank his monkey. A lumpy park monkey gets up close and personal with unsuspecting tourists. A call to 'Uncle Underpants' finds him airing out his own dirty laundry. The Word Whore reveals her secret porn name.

The Word Whore drools over Tim Cure's gooey meat - reading new meaning into the most important meal of the day. Buttons pops his safety cap. 'Angry Phone Guy' rips into the Hilton's... twice.